labyrinthine musings

Flat days, good days, whatever days.

2012-01-07T20:53:00.001+10:00

It's been a not so good day today. They always seem to hit me when I least expect it and usually when I've got no plans. Seems that me chilling out and deciding to relax isn't really a good idea for me. I had a blast last night. I miss Barbi so much when I don't see her during the week. The delight for both of us when we see each other is just beautiful. My entire persona takes a huge feeling of buoyancy when I see her. It doesn't matter what goes on in my mind at the time, seeing her and getting a huge hug, strips it all away. She's calm and love and comfort personified. God definitely blessed her with an aura. We've been friends now for over 12 years and that feeling always emanates from her. Last night we shared a bottle of champagne, we laughed and planned and chatted and relished in being together. Shame that I woke up today and the day was the total opposite. I felt miserable. I got up early as I hadn't slept well, I hadn't even turned my audiobook until around 2am. I went into town and took Sammy. He had a trim, we had morning tea st Donut King and bought a few things at Woolies. I came home, took my makeup off and donned the jammies and went back to bed. I feel like I wasted the day snoozing. I feel better now. We've just had a nice dinner. Roast eye fillet a pepper sauce with roast vegies and Peter made a garlic and herb butter which was heavenly on a doughy French stick. Dad I think of you all the time. The iPhoto screensaver shows your smiling face all the time. You look so good and so happy and alive. That's hiw I'll remember you. Dear God look after Mama. I can only begin to imagine what she's going through.

Update

2012-01-03T18:13:00.001+10:00

I spent most of today with my Mum. I didn't want to spare a day as I have two assignments due next week and I've not done much since Dad died. What she needed doing today was weighing heavily upon her mind so it was important to do ASAP. My Mum asked for my help with notifying all the relevant bodies about Dad so that everything us tidied up and in her name. Dad did all this in the past, or if it was complicated he'd come to me. Mum couldn't face going to all the relevant offices to inform them of Dad's death, nor did she have the strength to complete things over the phone. I'm so glad I was able to help her as it was tedious. Mum felt quite distraught by the end of the day I can only imagine how difficult it would have been for her otherwise. I spent almost two hours on the phone this morning, then we went into town. The first place we waited for an hour, only to be told we couldn't finalize things that day. We then went to banks and had a bite to eat. I spent another hour on the phone fixing up the power and phone companies for her. We achieved a lot and Mum felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. I'm glad I was there to hug her as she walked out of one bank in tears. I was glad I could grasp her hand when I felt she was struggling. It was a very tough day for her today. She cried when I got there early this morning. She said that she doesn't 'feel' Dad in the house like she thought she would. In some ways it feels like he's been gone a long time already. Mum said that in little ways he was already withdrawing from her. I believe he knew the end was near. The five days that Dad was in hospital he was so happy. He joked, he laughed and he looked at peace. Dad, a typical man was never a good patient so this surprised me. Mum said she could see in his eyes that a part of him was no longer here....... It's strange because as I sat beside him when he'd not long gone and then even more so when I viewed him at the funeral home, Dad was gone. His soul was gone and with it everything that was him. I though that seeing him one more time was the final goodbye but it was when I left the hospital on the Thursday evening. When he blew me a kiss as I turned back when I was almost out the door. What was in the bed and then in the coffin wasn't my Dad anymore. It was a shell. His very being and essence was gone. Those would have left the instant the light left his eyes. Since my Dad has gone my faith has been even stronger. I managed today feeling strong and capable. I needed to be strong for Mum. It's now my turn to look after her. She couldn't have done all the paperwork/talking today and Ricky couldn't even ring to cancel Dad's Internet. He said he tried a couple of times but couldn't do it. But I could. It surprises me. I've not cried a huge amount since he's been gone. Even at the funeral I didn't cry a lot. I've cried more at people's funerals that I've barely known, as I've cried for the hurt and pain for the close family. I believe my faith has given me the strength to go on. To not drop my bundle and to be strong enough for Mum. Strangely enough I had a cry when I typed an earlier paragraph. My Mum is so sad. I hope that me being close helps her to find new meaning and happiness in her life. Every night I pray for her. I love you Mama and I'm always here for you. xxxxxxx

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T10:53:00.002+10:00

I'm glad I made the effort to go into Daisy's. I've not done any scrapping or card making for months now, and even though I had good intentions with my stuff in the boot, I didn't even get it out of the car. I needed to be with my close friends, to just chat and be normal.

I shed some tears and enjoyed being surrounded by friends. I was home around eleven. I read from a beautiful Max Lucado book that my dear friend Barbi bought me, and I found some solace there.

This morning, I was rudely awoken by a grumpy husband. Mickey had thrown something in the bin, which was actually a gift left at the front door. My kids are well trained, that if there's a plastic bag at the door, it needs to be taken to the rubbish, this time, though, it was a bottle of wine left by a neighbour. Naturally Peter was cranky, and I awoke with his initial outburst. That seems to have set the tone for the day.

I'm on auto pilot. I don't want to do Christmas Eve. A day that's always been a highlight for me, has no lustre this year. It's raining outside, and my heart too is filled with tears. How can I prepare food and have everyone here to celebrate when one of the main guests is no longer here. I'm finding today harder than any other day so far. My heart is heavy, and I have much that still needs to be done.

Peter went out earlier to say goodbye to my Uncle who came up for the funeral, and he came back and said everyone was coming later, than usual. This has given me a reprieve. Time to collect myself and get organized without the rush.

The gifts are under the tree, they look meagre. Thank God I'd already bought them before Dad died, otherwise I doubt there'd be anything at all.

I've prayed lots already this morning. For comfort and peace........

Heavenly Father
As we come together this afternoon, I pray that we can still rejoice. I want to rejoice in the birth of your Son, and also in the aura of the wonderful family I have. Lord, give me strength, to get through today and tomorrow with grace and serenity. Lord, give my Mum and Ricky the peace too, so they can enjoy this time as well. I know that Dad is forever in our hearts and that he wouldn't want us to be miserable today. Knowing is one thing, but I want to feel that and be comfortable with that in my heart. I have been filled with your peace and your holy spirit all week long, I've felt your presence there, very strongly. Please continue to comfort me.

In the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit - Amen.

Update

2011-12-23T06:04:00.000+10:00

It's been a hard week.

Dad's funeral on Tuesday, was beautiful. It was simple, touching, emotional, prayerful and a celebration of a life well lived. I am grateful that I found the strength to read the eulogy I'd written, and also the words that Billy-Joe had written for his Opa.

We had a wake back here afterwards. About 20 people came back to our house, we had loads to drink and eat. It was a nice time, we laughed and had fun, but it's tinged now with a sadness that can't be explained. I guess it's guilt. Why can we laugh, when Dad is no longer here. He should be sitting in the midst of all this, enjoying himself and enjoying being surrounded by those who loved him best. Having my uncle here has been great. Especially for Mum. It's a good connection to the past.

I still can't believe that he's gone, and I keep reliving those last moments of the last few weeks and of the time we spent in Rainbow together. Yesterday I made my Vanilla Kipferl, not until I'd had a cry though. I made them primarily for my Dad, as they were biscuits he was used to having back in Austria. They smell so divine when they come out of the oven and they're sprinkled with vanilla sugar and icing sugar. I hope they serve vanilla kipferl in heaven.

Last night, everyone was here again, just the family. Eleven of us, had a few drinks and pizza for dinner. It was good fun, but I hurt every time I look at my Mum and I see that faraway look in her eyes. I feel so sad for her, knowing that after Christmas, the real mourning will begin. No one will be around her everyday and the reality of being alone will hit her. Mum and Dad were such creatures of habit, and they did everything together.

Christmas will not be the same this year. The kids are excited and so for them we've not cancelled it. I don't even know if I've got enough gifts. I haven't wrapped them yet, or sorted them out. I've just been buying and shoving them into the cupboard. I don't know if I'll have the gifts in time for the girls. I hope they arrive today.

I sit down, looking for some respite, from thinking and from doing chores, but I can't settle. I've not picked up my Kindle, nor have I watched a movie. I need to study too, and have done nothing....... My sleep patterns are all over the place.

I miss you so much Dad. xxxxx

Update

2011-12-23T05:43:00.001+10:00

It's been a hard week.Dad's funeral on Tuesday, was beautiful. It was simple, touching, emotional, prayerful and a celebration of a life well lived. I am grateful that I found the strength to read the eulogy I'd written, and also the words that Billy-Joe had written for his Opa.I still can't believe that he's gone, and I keep reliving those last moments of the last few weeks and of the time we spent in Rainbow together. Yesterday I made my Vanilla Kipferl, not until I'd had a cry though. I made them primarily for my Dad, as they were biscuits he was used to having back in Austria. They smell so divine when they come out of the oven and they're sprinkled with vanilla sugar and icing sugar. I hope they serve vanilla kipferln in heaven.

A Letter

2011-12-20T02:31:00.000+10:00

Dear Dad
My quiet moments are filled with thoughts of you. Especially as I prepare my heart and mind to say goodbye to you today.

We've put a day together that we hope you will enjoy. I want you to look down and see how much we all love you. We want it to be special and beautiful and for you to see how much you meant to us. We will endeavor to celebrate your life. You've left us with many precious memories, and I'm so glad that I have them. It brings you back to life in my mind's eye.

I find it hard to realize the finality of what has happened. I'm not angry that you're gone but I feel an overwhelming sadness and emptiness. You were such a big part of our lives and it's impossible to imagine you not in it. Sammy told me that he can't imagine life without you. Already he is thinking of special occasions that you won't be with us anymore. He wants a chair left for you, and a plate of food too.

I'm so very proud to be your daughter. I'm so happy that we got to spend time at Rainbow with you. My children will cherish that memory forever.

I love you Dad. Forever and ever. Xxxxx

Good Bye

2011-12-18T03:33:00.002+10:00

If you gazed upon the heavens tonight and felt the sky looked a little brighter, it's because there's a new star in heaven. This morning, Saturday 17th December my beloved Dad became a new shining star.

After a short hospital stay due to a pulmonary embolism he suffered a massive heart attack and left this world for the hereafter.

It's 3.30am and sleep currently eludes me as I reflect upon yesterday. I spent the day surrounded by the love of my closest family and dearest friends.

Dear Heavenly Father, look after your new angel. Let him know that we will look after his beloved wife and we are so grateful for having had him as our Dad, husband and friend. He will be sadly missed but will live on forever in our hearts. I'm so proud to be his daughter.

Amen.

Two days in a row!!

2011-12-15T18:08:00.000+10:00

Don't faint, as I've blogged two days in a row.

I'm so glad that I emailed one of my close friends about my camera dilemma. My 35-55mm lens is broken, the auto focus doesn't work. Im reluctant to get it repaired, partly because it's just a basic lens and it could be expensive to repair. My gf came to my rescue with her advice and has loan me an old 18-55mm lens. I will buy a much better camera once I'm working. The loan lens is incredibly slow and I miss the image stabilization, but I'm very happy that I've now got a lens I can use at Christmas time.

I had two firsts today. I gave myself my Simponi injection under the watchful eye of a lovely nurse at my GP clinic. Then In the afternoon I donated blood for the first time. The size of the cannula was a bit scary and I didn't watch that being done. One can always tell when someone cannulates all the time as it's barely painful even with the 16 gauge needle!!!

The nurses at the blood bank were just lovely and took great care of me. I got a cup of icy cordial and some delicious slice. Billy-Joe came with me and they looked after him too!!!! I felt fine afterwards. We visited Dad for a few minutes. We got home and I had a nap. I was very tired and slept for an hour. I awoke and thought I'd start prepping dinner. Big mistake. I hate peeling prawns at the best of times but today it made me almost faint. I had to sit down for quite a while the I got up and cleaned them better. Now I don't want to eat them.

Bunny has just come home and the prawns are for a salad for our dinner. I don't think I can eat them.

It's funny, I have a good stomach for many things but fish isn't one of them. Also this morning, Izzy brought home a headless mouse and then proceeded to empty out the gizzards and pick and choose what she wanted to eat. I was gagging while getting my cereal ready. Thankfully Mickey picked up the left over gizzards!!! I feel lousy just writing about it now lol.

Update- a brief one

2011-12-14T21:20:00.000+10:00

It's hard to believe that 2011 has almost gone, and what a year it's been. So many pivotal moments and much to reflect upon.

I've not been the best of bloggers or journal keepers. Not for a lack of wanting to, but with the many things I want to do it comes down to priorities as time seems to go by so quickly and there's simply not enough hours in the day.

I wanted to read my devotions daily, but have lapsed. Thankfully my devotion and dedication to learn more and become closer to God is stronger than ever. He's been my constant companion and along with my wonderful husband and boys He's been my strength and also my calmative. I'm sorry that I've not completed my Word project. It's rather profound how that helped me. My word 'Focus' literally gave me focus and became the impetus for one of the most exciting years in my life. God definitely moves in mysterious ways and it still amazes me that Billy-Joe becoming so ill was the precursor to my epiphany.

Last week we came home from ten days away. It was a special time because Mum and Dad came with us. We rented a large house with a pool. I was unwell with tonsillitis for a few days so was very happy to chill out and do not much at all. The boys went fishing and to the beach. I read, studied and slept. We went out to dinner some nights and cooked a few nights. Funnily enough the nights we ate in were the most fun.

This week I've been looking forward to doing some Christmas related jobs although I'm not particularly feeling very Christmassy which is unusual because it's a time of the year I love. I've baked my Christmas cake and the tree is up. I took some beautiful Christmas shots of my boys in front of the tree. If I get my act together I'll print some and adhere it to the front of cards. I put a sentiment on the image so my card is done!!! Now I just need to get the pics printed.

This week has been a little tumultuous, and hasn't helped me to feel Christmassy. My beloved Dad was admitted to hospital with a pulmonary embolism. Thankfully he's doing really well and responding quickly to the treatment. The more he tells me about it, and the more I consider his health in the prior months, the more I realize he's been quite ill for many months. I'll have to question him further but I wonder when the clot began, as he would have had symptoms, either a sore leg or arm. I don't know if he realizes ow incredibly lucky he is to still be with us. I know he's not been well and he would have been reluctant to seek treatment just in case it jeopardized our holidays. Visiting him in hospital is an absolute delight. His recount of the day's happenings are filled with his cheeky comments and his wicked sense of humour with the medical team. I think he's feeling very very relieved and they're taking great care if him. I'm so glad he's where he is. Thank you God for keeping him here with us.

I love him so very much.

Rainbow Beach

2011-12-03T22:42:00.001+10:00

I wish I would write down my every thought. My every down and my many many joyful moments.

We've been on holidays for nearly a week. It's been so good. The sun shines brightly every single day except for one which is so much better than what we had last year. The kids are wonderfully behaved. We laugh, have fun, eat, drink and spend lots of time just reading and being quiet. Dad has read five books I'm on my second. Bunny has taken the kids fishing once or twice every day. We've cooked good food, we've drunk good wine.

Bunny and I have even slept together most nights. Tonight he's sleeping upstairs because he imbibed a little more lol.

I'm about to go to sleep listening to the latest Michael Connelly book. I'm currently reading the latest Lee Child one on my Kindle.

I'm tired. Content. Blessed.

Enough

2011-11-12T22:27:00.002+10:00

I wonder to myself and in my prayers. Am I enough? I read so much, hear so much about the pain around me, about the strengths and heartache around me and also the ever wondrous presence of God's Love. I listen in awe to the stories of others triumphs and stressors, of good times and bad. And I wonder am I enough? And I know I'm not. And I'm grateful that I have time and opportunity to continue to grow and develop and that one day I may just be enough. Kind enough, loving enough and compassionate enough that I can make a change, an impact. I've made a start. Out of my comfort zone, working hard to become a nurse I may fulfill my goal and ultimately fill God's purpose for me. I've never done things conventionally, I'm slow to learn sometimes, slow to embrace new possibilities. Maybe, just maybe one day I'll be enough. Enough to make a difference, enough to show my gratitude. There's work to do in my heart. There's fears to conquer and doubts to quell. One day with God's Grace I will be enough.

God is able to accomplish, provide, help, save, keep, subdue… He is able to do what you can’t. He already has a plan. God’s not bewildered. Go to Him. – Max Lucado

The relief is palpable.

2011-10-23T16:07:00.001+10:00

Once upon a time, in a land far far away. I used to get bored!! I can't even comprehend being bored now. My life is so full and there's barely space to fit everything I want to do, let alone time for being bored.

This weekend, I feel like I can breathe a little easier. My schedule is beginning to lighten, in that all my assignments are completed. The relief I feel is very liberating.

Last weekend, I'd hit a wall, metaphorically speaking. I'd spent the entire week, in fact the entire term keeping my uni friends bouyant and reminding them of their positive attributes and that there was no reason to be stressed. Unfortunately by last Friday, I'd got a to a point where I had nothing left to give as far as consoling and supportive words go. I can't say enough for my husband, who spent the weekend, being my friend, lover and rock. By Monday morning, I was back to my normal self. Full of confidence, happiness and with a good attitude once again. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's so good to me. Love him to bits. We had a nice weekend. On the Saturday night he took me out to the local Thai restaurant. Their food is divine and even though it was bucketing rain, we had a nice night. On Sunday we went out and purchased a coffee machine. We settled for a Nepresso Latissima+ (passion red). For someone who doesn't drink a huge amount of coffee, I've certainly made up for it this week. I've had about 15 cups or something already this week. The coffee is delicious. Our milk consumption has gone up too!! We opted for the machine with the pods, primarily because there was a demonstrator in store and we could taste the coffee. We were both impressed and managed to get a $600 machine for $428.

On Wednesday, we headed to Brisbane again to see Billy-Joe's Respiratory Paediatrician. We received some very good news about his asthma. Billy-Joe, after ten years, is no longer on any puffers!! Fingers crossed that he stays well. His spirometry reading was identical to the one they took last time when he was still on his full meds. Needless to say, we're very happy about that. It's been a part of his life for so long, and now no more. I'm praying that he stays healthy. We'll also be going back to him, if anyone suggests that Billy-Joe needs to go back onto meds.

It's been a good week overall, albeit a busy one. On the Tuesday, I spent the day with Julz finishing our poster on gas exchange. We're pretty rapt with how it all turned out. We handed in the written portion today, and will hand in the hard copy tomorrow. I'm sure we'll get a good mark for it. On Thursday I had to co present a health promotion that we'd devised. Three of us worked together. It was about breast feeding, and it went well. I think we'll get a good mark for the too. I've got an essay due soon. It's complete, except for the reference list. So basically all my major assessment pieces are done and dusted. Now I've only got four exams and one practical exam that I need to concentrate on.

In five weeks, we'll be heading off to Rainbow Beach with Mum and Dad. We're all looking forward to the break and to enjoying being together.

I went to church this morning, popped in and saw my Mum and Dad, and then came home. I made a huge batch of pikelets and some good coffee. I went on the treadmill too, for the first time in ages. Unfortunately a lot of the weight I lost has snuck back on again, and I'm not happy about it. I know exercise is good for me, and it's become a time issue. I am hoping I can fit it in now. It's important for me to stay well and to be at least a little fit.

The boys are off playing golf. A gf called in for coffee for an hour and now I'm heading back to my books. I'm meeting Julz tomorrow before the lecture to do some more revision for Anatomy and Physiology.

Enough leisure, off to work now. Until next time.

Update - Dot Points

2011-10-09T19:08:00.001+10:00

I don't have time to wax lyrical, because that's what it would become, were I to post all that's on my heart and mind.

I'm happy, very happy in fact, happier than I've ever been.
I'm also busier, busier than I've ever been.
Studying full time, with three kids, and a husband isn't easy, but much easier for me than some others.
I consider myself very blessed and lucky because of the support and help I've got.
Had a shitty afternoon today, because of computer issues. I even took my BP at one point, and it was 160/100.
Love love love technology, until it has a conniption.
Can't leave a problem, until it's solved.
Prac a few weeks ago, was fabulous.
I know this is what I want to do, not that I had any doubt before.
I know, I've got the right attitude, just have to hope the memory holds tight.
Loads of exams and things due shortly. I'm working on deadlines at the moment.
Anatomy and Physiology is my favourite subject, but so incredibly full on.
Next year, is going to be huge. With two days a week, clinical, and two days at uni, it's going to be huge.
Needless to say I'm praying lots at the moment.
I"m doing a subject over summer semester. It will make my load less for the semester when I have an 8 week clinical placement. I have no idea how I'm going to manage that, only God knows, and there's no point worrying about it now. Again, I will pray lots and hand it over the the good Lord.
I met and made a gorgeous new friend, an RN at the aged care facility where I did my placement. She's beautiful, smart, a deep thinker, good fun, funny, intelligent and I'm so pleased I met her.
I wish I could work with her more, I could learn heaps from her. I especially learned how not to do things while I was on prac, not from her directly, but with her. This isn't the correct place to post details so I'll leave that one.
I'm currently listening to The Four Agreements on audio, Lyn recommended it to me, and it's awesome and quite profound.
I've listened to 'The Help' and loved it.
I'm trying to become an advocate for an elderly lady I met at church years ago, and have no idea how to go about it. Well I have ideas, and I know there's help around, but I'm a little reluctant to pursue this line of enquiry.
I'm enjoying all the little things in life too, a cup of tea, quiet time, time with my kids, good wine and talks with my husband, time with my parents when I can see them, reading a good book, laughing, cooking....... life is good.
Since I've started studying, the only thing I miss, is spending more time with friends and family. I know it's only for a short while, and I pray they understand. When I'm at home, I study, or take time out to just read and be. I like to keep housework/chores up to date, but have loads of help too from my kids, especially Billy-Joe.
Am still very sad that Steve Jobs died. I listened to his address to Stanford Uni a few years ago, and I love his words. I will watch that many times, as it reaffirms where I"m heading at the moment.
Am drinking good wine at the moment.
I miss my brother.
I want to spend more time with Suzy, Karen, Barbi and my Mum.
I want to get to know Lyn better, again I need time....
I've made some lovely new uni friends. It's interesting though, that once again, I've taken on a nurturing role for the girls. I do admit thought that I love being a help and comfort to them.
The weather is warming up.
Church this morning was fabulous. I love God and my Church, although I've not found my place there yet. I'm so glad I went back after such a long time away.
Enjoy my Kindle, but am not impressed they brought out new ones, cheaper.
Bunny has been doing some chores around the house.
My car now can park off the road. Not bad seeing we've been here for ten years lol. On the 19.10 actually.
Billy-Joe is doing great off all meds.
He's growing
I love him
He annoys me
He's beautiful.
I'm blessed.

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T17:00:00.001+10:00

Not since Elvis Presley died have I felt such sadness and sense of loss from the death of someone I don't know personally.

He has brought so much to my life. I have literally had many moments of pure delight when reading about, and using Apple products. The man was a genius. His vision and commitment to his ideas are just so inspiring. I enjoyed seeing him present new products. I wish I'd met him.

You will be deeply missed Steve Jobs.

My heart goes out to your wife, family and friends. Your legacy will live forever and you will always be remembered. At Apple, you will always be the foundation.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

First Day on Placement

2011-09-19T16:18:00.001+10:00

Today was my first day on placement at an aged care facility. The only thing I got to do was feed one gentlemen. I also definitely know I don't want to work in aged care. There are only a handful of RNs in the facility. Two are on the floor as clinicians, and two hold management positions. The staff are mainly AINs (assistants in nursing) and ENs (enrolled nurses). As far as I can see we will be doing AIN work, so the mornings will be full on. I fed a gentleman today. There was no conversation but he was happy for me to feed him and he was grateful. I spoke to some of the other residents and it will be better tomorrow when I have time to interact. We did loads of paperwork and formalities today. Fire drill, confidentiality papers, manual handling procedures etc. I'm only there for this week. The first year undergrad students are there for two weeks. I'm so glad I've got next week off. Our facilitator is a nice guy and the group I'm in are lovely too. Most are young, there's one guy in his late 30's and one woman who's well in her 50's I think.

2011-09-05T21:41:00.000+10:00

It's been a long time again between posts. My mind is never quiet, constantly whirring with new knowledge, deadlines and responsibilities.

It's hard to believe the semester is half over. I'm an eighth of the way to another degree lol.....

Every day I learn something new, well lots of new things, and sadly most seem to leak away out of my brain. Oh I wish I had some more RAM!! All the content makes sense to me, which is a good thing, so hopefully the knowledge will consolidate and become more readily available by exam time. I enjoy my time at uni. I've met some great people and there's a bunch of us that have quickly become friends. There's something special about being with a group of likeminded, and similar aged people all doing the same thing. We all learn from one another, and support one another.

I'm challenged every single day. It's invigorating actually. I feel very much alive and very happy with what I'm currently doing. I've also never been so tired in my entire life. My every moment is full. In my spare time, I study. Which means, I have no spare time. So far though, I've not had to stay up late to study, but even when I did my first degree I never did that. I can't think when I'm dog tired, so there's no point.

By far my most challenging subject is Anatomy and Physiology. The lecturer is a doctor. After a shaky start, she's doing really well. The amount of content and work involved is just huge. I put in more work into that one subject than the other three twice over. We cover a body system a week, and there is so much ground to cover. The subject also has weekly laboratory homework, plus online quizzes every second week, and the in between week there are laboratory questions which are assignments.

If I were to have 'favourite' topics covered thus far, it would be the endocrine system and haemotology.

We book time each fortnight to go into a nursing lab to practice our skills. i can't wait till we do injections and IVs. At the moment, we're spending most of our time doing assessments.

I'm all set for my first practical placement which is in two weeks. I've got my shoes, two uniform blouses, black pants, nurses watch, and all my paperwork is done.

I've enrolled into a subject for the summer session. I figure that it makes sense to lighten my load toward the end of my studies. I figure I should keep up the momentum while my motivation and energy levels are still high. There's a two week break over Christmas/New Year and I'd only be on campus once a week. I can do my research from home.

Bunny and the kids have been absolutely fantastic. Their support, love, enthusiasm and encouragement has been a huge help. I'm so proud of how well the kids have adjusted. They're amazing. I love them all so very very much.

I have begun

2011-07-25T17:10:00.000+10:00

I still can't believe that I've been accepted into Uni and that I've officially started today. The academic skill stuff, and much of the 'housekeeping' side of things has been done. I still need to do my First Aid course. I had it booked in for last Wednesday, so I could get it done, before formal studies commenced but the course was cancelled due to insufficient numbers. Not sure when I'll do it now, am toying with the idea of doing much of it via e-learning, and then just doing the practical exam component face to face. It means it doesn't take out a whole day somewhere down the track for me.

I'm grateful for my analytical and pedantic tendencies. Without those personality traits, things would be so much more difficult for me. I've got the menus planned for this week and next, the kids' have their chore charts written up. I've had a lecture this morning. Not sure if I'll continue with that one, as she spoke to the powerpoint, which we have access to on the net anyway. I'd already completed the pre reading task but hadn't taken many notes, as I wanted to see in what kind of depth the lecture went. I'm glad I didn't write to any great depth, as the info is quite vast. I now know to what level I need to study for.

I'm pleased too, that so much is on the net. The only lecture notes I had 20 years ago, were the ones I wrote. Mind you, toward the end of my degree, there was the odd lecture I didn't attend, as it was simply powerpoints from a chapter in our textbook. So much easier for me to read an do my own notes. On Mondays, I'm there twice, with a trip home in between. So I'll see how I go. It was interesting this afternoon, with the kids doing their homework and me sitting down doing some too.

I've met some nice people already. One lady, travels from Gympie, she's got three kids too, but unfortunately doesn't have a supportive husband like I do. I wonder if she'll be able to complete the degree. He's using emotional manipulation on her, making her feel guilty. I'm blessed as Peter and the kids are being so supportive. I couldn't do it without their support, so I pray she's able to continue. She's quite worried too about the degree, even though she has a science degree, which is about as old as my teaching degree, she's concerned about writing essays and the IT side of things. I'm not concerned on either of those points.

This is an exciting time.

Pre Uni Academic Skills

2011-07-12T16:59:00.001+10:00

So far this week, is fabulous at uni. I'm pleased I enrolled in these preparation courses.

Not only have I learned some new skills, I've learned that some of the skills I have are indeed good ones and real skills. Not just something I made up, lol.......very heartening for me. The lecturer today was different to yesterday's and I really liked her presentation style. She's funny, interesting and delivers information in a way that suits me. Even her revision of yesterday's information, made me realize the value of the day, much more than yesterday's teacher did. I'm so excited, even more so than before.

Yesterday focussed on note taking skills and today was effective reading. I feel like I'm going to attack my workload in a much more methodical and efficient way. Thank God, I thrive on structure. I am so much more aware of what's available too, insofar as assistance goes. Perhaps things are much better organized now than they were 20 years ago. Certainly having access to the info on the net makes things much more readily accessible.

Unfortunately, there's no one in my course, doing this prep stuff, but I've met some nice people already, and, have had the opportunity of passing on knowledge that's been given to me by my friends and niece who are currently studying.

It was so good having the kids back at school today. I was up early, and had dinner in the slow cooker by 7.45am. Silly me, didn't consider that I was out each morning this week, when I planned slow cooker meals on the menu for this week. The kids have come home happy and positive, and apart from the usual hassles of getting Sammy to focus (it's 5pm and he's STILL sitting there doing his homework!!!!) it's been a good afternoon. I added some things to the slow cooker, went down to the treadmill, did some weights and my stretches and am now enjoying a glass of wine, all showered and dinner is simmering away.

I'm happy, I'm excited, I have a goal and a purpose!

Busy times and lots on my mind

2011-07-10T22:20:00.001+10:00

It's been a huge week, finished off with a very relaxing few days.

The entire week was filled with doctor's appointments, re testing of my eyes and we celebrated Mickey's birthday. My baby turned ten. My beautiful youngest child, who is full of energy and so full of life. He embraces everything he does with a passion and attacks it full on. He's growing up very quickly. In part because he's the youngest but also because he's extroverted and full of enthusiasm. He's played golf six times this week and Peter says he's improving in leaps and bounds. He already hits further off the tee than his father does, much to Peter's chagrin. He's already set his eyes on playing a few competitions next year. We don't push him and are just encouraging his love for the sport and share in his excitement. We have no intention of becoming overbearing and pushy parents. Thank God we've never wanted to live vicariously through our children.

Mum and Dad came on Tuesday evening to celebrate Mickey's birthday. I made a lasagna and salad, a flour less chocolate cake and iced cup cakes for his birthday dinner. They also came on Saturday night aid had a ball that day cooking for them. I made a French onion soup, roasted pork belly and a panna cotta for dessert.

Monday I went to the doctor and had blood tests to check my immunity levels on communicable diseases. Sammy was still coughing so he had a nasal swab and blood test for whooping cough.

In the afternoon I decided to attack the treadmill again. On my physio's recommendation I bought Gel heel raises for my track shoes. I walked for 15 minutes and joked for a few of them. It felt good and the pain didn't get that bad that I had to stop.

The next day I wanted to take the kids to Caloundra to walk along the boardwalk as it was a glorious day. We got five meters from the car and turned right around and headed back to the car. It was windy and the wind was quite chilly. Not at all conducive for a nice walk. Instead I took them for ice cream and then we visited Nanny and Darby. They were both well and I'm glad we popped on.

When we got home Peter had lain the slab for our carport. Hopefully next week our cars will be off the road. No more grass dragged into my car or inside. We've talked about doing it for years and it's finally going to be a reality. I hope the roof comes on it soon too. No more worrying when we have hail storms especially with my new car.

The next day I had my eyes rechecked and my glasses will be remade as I'm having trouble reading the MacBook or iMac with them. The reading part is in a different place from my previous pair. Thankfully they can change my new pair so I'll be able to use them for my studies. I thought that my prescription had changed so much that they weren't suitable for intermediate length work anymore.

I took Sammy back to the doctor after a phone call in the morning confirmed that he did indeed have whooping cough. I'm immune to whooping cough and will require a HepB booster and a regime for Hep A. Sammy is on antibiotics for five days. It's ironic really as he's much much better, I'm glad I took him though and even happier knowing that now he's definitely immune. The rest of the family must be too as everyone is well.

Friday I hibernated. Between appointments, errands, chores and taxiing kids around all well and having loads on my mind I needed Friday to regroup and catch up on rest. I slept in late, and had a Physio appointment. My back was still not good from the day spent at the airport. When I got home from the appointment, I laid down and actually slept for two hours. I went out to Daisy's and was almost considering not going to the Scrap for Charity for the next day. In the morning I decided to do my ironing first, I hate havin a big job hanging over my head. I'd slept extremely well the night before and felt surprisingly good. My hip and back felt heaps better so the thought of sitting all day didn't seem to daunting.

I had a lovely day. I made some nice cards, enjoyed seeing my friends, especially one of my closest, whom I'd not seem since before I went away. Barbi catered, the food was good and one lady Yvonne, made a divine cheesecake. I will get that recipe.

Today I went to church. I'd missed it and really enjoyed the service. I feel at peace within myself today. I've been thinking so much all week, I'm so nervous and worried about what's ahead of me. I had some kind words spoken to me yesterday. Encouragement which was timely. I'm concerned my academic skills are gone. Concerned that my memory will fail me.

I know I don't need to be exceptionally brilliant to become a nurse, which is good because I'm far from it. My interest and passion for knowledge in this field will see me through. I'm so keen to start. My wonderful family is so full of support too. We know we are headed for different times. I'm so blessed that my Faith is playing an important role for me too. I can't do this alone.

This week will be interesting. I've enrolled in some pre uni classes. It's been a long time and I'm keen to revise those skills and learn some new ones.

Off to bed now. A big week ahead. The kids have one day more off, and Peter is still off this week.

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Home Again

2011-07-05T21:14:00.001+10:00

Feels good to be home. After a long delay at the airport due to fog a two hour flight leaving in the morning ended up having us home at around 6pm.
Mind you I'm not complaining. Australia's aviation track record is what it is due to their safety regulations and caution, but it did make for a long and tiring day. I suffered from a crook back for a few days as I spent too time sitting. I did make a point of getting up and walking around probably not enough. Far out those aircraft seats have to be the most uncomfortable seats ever. Then the seats on the airport shuttle just added insult to injury on my sacrum lol.

Yesterday I had a 'woe is me' kind of day. Wishing I was back in Victoria, ongoing concerns with my health and a feeling that I'm too busy added to the knowledge of going back to study. The evil Jenny was on my shoulder telling me all the things I can't do. Thank the Lord she doesn't appear very often. She's debilitatingly negative and tragically miserable. Between my medication and my faith in God I'm able to quash her most of the time. Sometime however, when I'm tired or not feeling 100% she'll rear her ugly head. Nowadays I know to just take things easy and that those feelings will go away. No longer do they linger or have a lasting impact.

I took Sammy to have his cough checked out. I had tests done to check my immunity for communicable diseases as I head toward my nursing placements. Thankfully my GP put me back on HRT. The hit flushes are getting worse and are hampering my sleep too. I work hard at being a positive and 'glass half full' kind of girl and the hot flushes are beginning to wear me down.

Yesterday I went on the treadmill. I'm so conscious of getting older and I've put some weight back on. The chronic Achilles tendinitis was supposed to improve with the meds I'm on but it's been twelve months and no change. Before I went away my Physio suggested I put heel rises in my shoes to shorten the calf muscle and hence decrease the strain. I did fifteen minutes. I hurt, but not like I had done and certainly not bad enough to stop. I was busy today but will go on for longer tomorrow. I think the exercise will be even more important while I'm studying.

Ten years ago today Mickey was born. I no longer have a child in single figures. We had a nice evening. I baked him a large almond and chocolate cake and some cupcakes too. We had lasagna for dinner. I baked and made less than I normally do but I didn't want to eat it and I also have been rather tired and wanted to keep it a bit simpler. I'm glad I did. It went off well. Everyone was happy.

I've got a free day tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a sleep in.

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Update on our last day.

2011-06-28T14:15:00.001+10:00

It's been days since I've updated. I've not had the peace and quiet to sit and reflect.

Being back in the town where I was born and where I spent the first 27 years has at times been quite surreal.

Even after 22 years, I still love this town. I still have emotional ties here. With my aunt and uncle, my godmother and the fact I went to school and had my first jobs here. Driving around I enjoy seeing the old buildings, the beautiful heritage buildings in town, the old wool sale yards which are the facade of a modern Westfield shopping centre. Parking is cheap and traffic is light. Along the esplanade is as beautiful as ever calm waters with expensive yachts lazily bobbing upon them. This area is again being upgraded and it's a lovely place for visitors and locals alike.

Were I to drive around here I would still be confident. Actually with a population of over 200000 it's an easy place to get around in. Low traffic, great road systems, make for a more navigable area than home.

My aunt and uncle where we are staying is just down the road from the last place my parents lived before moving to Qld, so this area is especially familiar to me. I was saddened to see the church that Ricky and I went to when we were kids is gone. This church doorstep was also where I landed 32 years ago when I had a head on with a car. It was a Baptist Church. A very conservative one but filled with lovely people. I spent many an outing, from progressive dinner to singing hymns in Melbourne and to the weekly youth group and Sunday Church. I loved it there. Sadly the building isn't there anymore. There's a house there now. I've asked my aunt and she doesn't know what happened to it. I've emailed the council, I hope they can tell me what happened to it. It would have been around 1977 the last time I went there and I can find no reference to it on the web.

I've spent lots of time talking with my aunt and uncle. It's funny, I've spoken hardly any German in the last 30 years and yet it's still there. I guess one never really loses one's first language. It won't matter how old I am they remember me speaking German as a child and therefore I still can. They even speak to Sammy in German. It wouldn't take long for him to pick it ip either, but four days isn't quite long enough for that.

Flying home tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing my boys, friends and family. Love it here but there's no place like home.

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Location:Waurn Ponds, Geelong.

Enjoying our time away

2011-06-22T11:55:00.001+10:00

Today I've opted to have a quiet day at home. Laureen has an appointment in Geelong and I decided to stay home and enjoy some quiet downtime. We've been here a week tonight and the time has gone by quickly but we've also packed lots in.

Sammy has been unwell but has just kept going and hasn't let a bad cold and flared up asthma spoil his time in any way.

Laureen's house is awesome. It has the latest mod cons and is centrally heated and spacious. With six of us here it's not crowded. The water out of the taps is regulated so you just turn it on in the shower and when it comes through it's the right temperature. Oh for gas hot water. I love the granite bench tops and the roll out appliance cupboard with the kettle and toaster. The toaster is brilliant. Toasts whatever to perfection. No pale bits around the edges of the bread. The dyson handheld dust buster is amazing but at over $500 is a little expensive for me. With a house this size though it's worth it. The walk in pantry is huge, about the size of a small bathroom. A very comfy and warm house. I've only used the electric blanket a couple of times and not the entire night as the brick house stays so much warmer than our house.

We went and saw the light and sound show at Sovereign Hill. It's the story of the Eureka Stockade. It was absolutely freezing but worth seeing. We went to Sovereign Hill and did a mine tour. It was a new one about a mine in Creswick that had collapsed. Even to date it's the largest gold mine disaster in this country. I enjoyed that tour. It's amazing to think of what the men and their families endured back then. We also had our photo done dressed up in olden day clothes. They will post it so I hope it turned out okay.

We went to Melbourne twice. Once to the Victoria Markets and then again for the Tutankahmen Exhibition. We enjoyed the train travel. Very relaxing. I had my first ride on a tram and nearly caused everyone to fall over like a line of dominoes as I was busy making sure Sammy was holding on and yet I wasn't holding on myself lol. Those things brake suddenly and I went crashing into this poor woman. Thankfully she was okay and accepted my profuse apologies.

Laureen and I went out to dinner one night to an Italian Restaurant which was nice. Sammy wants pad thai so on Friday we are off to introduce Laureen and Geoff to Thai food. Yesterday we went to a beautiful cafe which was in a hotel. It had dark furniture and fireplaces everywhere. The cakes were divine. I met Laureen's girlfriends all fell psych nurses which was so cook to put faces and personalities to their names.

On Saturday we are off to Geelong and I'll stay with my Aunt and Uncle until we fly home on Wednesday.

I'll upload photos when I get home. Just wanted to update before I forgot important info.

I've enjoyed talking to Laureen about nursing. I'm so excited to be doing this course and also petrified to the same degree. She runs her household the same way I do so I really believe that organization is the key.

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Location:Ballarat

Leaving on a jet plane.............NOT!!

2011-06-13T10:21:00.000+10:00

Best laid plans of mice and men, and moi lol......

Who would have thought that a cranky volcano in South America could affect little old me sitting here in Queensland. My girlfriend, suggested I buy a lotto ticket. It's the first time I would have flown in six and a half years and the volcano picks this long weekend to spew forth ash.

I thought I was being a tad extravagant by deciding to go away for two weeks. I justified it by saying, I've only been back once in 22 years, and going for a week in 2005 wasn't anywhere near long enough. Added the catalyst of this trip, seeing the Tutankhamen Exhibition in Melbourne Museum, it was a perfect reason to go. Now I'm extremely pleased that I booked it for that long, as it stands now my trip has been cut short by three days!!

All being well we fly out on Wednesday night. Were I flying to Melbourne, I could probably get an earlier flight, but Avalon is easier for Laureen to come and pick me up, and then easier for my Uncle to take us back to the airport. I have gone onto the site to see if I could get an earlier flight, but I can't even access a schedule as it says 'sold out'. The flights to Melbourne are much more expensive too, and funnily enough are still accessible on the web.

I got up last night at 3am and was on hold for an hour to rebook my flight. I felt that I'd have more chance of speaking to someone at that ungodly hour than I would have during the day. This morning I was able to reschedule the airport bus, so all is rebooked.

Now I will keep praying that the ash no longer causes any problems.

Flying or not flying

2011-06-12T22:29:00.001+10:00

Can't believe this. The first time I've set foot on an aeroplane and now it looks as though a volcano in Chile may thwart my travel plans.

I know safety is paramount. So it's with prayer and fingers crossed that I go to bed tonight.

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Ramblings for today

2011-06-07T17:24:00.001+10:00

It's another busy week. Yesterday we bought dear Bunny another ute. After all the debacle with not being able to borrow the funds earlier this year, things have worked out after all. We feel so blessed to have been offered a vehicle from a family member. A great car that's been well looked after so we know we are buying what we think we've bought. It's a 2002 model triton, nothing real exciting in then larger sense but fabulous for us. Since Dear husband cooked the motor in his old ute he's been desperate to buy another. Having an unreliable car is not good at all. Whenever he was a bit late home I'd worry that it had completely died. His weekly fuel bill was enormous and was having a serious affect on our weekly finances. Bunny doesn't know himself. He's so happy with it and I'm extremely relieved.

I had a suspect mole biopsied last week. The doctor was sure it was a skin cancer. It was certainly only prayer that kept me calm. I always think that my years of sun worshipping will come to bite me. I admit I still like a tan but I don't get burnt, I always wear sun screen, when out in the sun, and thankfully I've kept my face out of the sun for many years now. I curse my spotty skin but am fortunate that my skin on my face is still good. I don't want the tanned leathery look that women my age get when they've had too many years in the sun. It's a shame I didn't stop sunning the rest of me then.

Afterwards I headed out to the uni to organize my Blue Card application. There were hundreds of kids there, young kids not uni kids. I saw the teachers that were supervising them and I felt not a single pang of regret. I absolutely, definitely don't miss teaching. Do I miss the money? Of course I do, but not enough to go back. It's odd though, walking through the campus and not feeling out of place. After a confusing drive to find the admin section I required I was very very excited to learn that the application was free for students. After spending the last few weeks looking at all the expenses I've tallied this was another one of those where you pay money but really get nothing to show for it. I am rapt it's free. I've still got a few other things to organize (and pay for). I need my Hepatitis B shots, a police check and I need to redo my First Aid and CPR courses too. I also need a uniform for pracs and a medical kit. Naturally all those cost money. I've also got my book list and have been sourcing books. I can save some money off the uni book shop by using www.bookdepository.uk. I'll keep an eye out for second hand copies to see if I can get it cheaper.

I had to go into BigW and buy some warm socks and some shoes for when I go away. In also wanted to call in and see one of my best friends who's heading to Brisbane as both her children are having tonsillectomies. I wanted to see her and give her something. Something that would let her know I'm thinking of her but also that someone far greater than Inwas watching over her.

I can't believe it's only five days till Sammy and I go away.

As an aside, I've been taken off HRT. Much to my chagrin and displeasure I might add. I've been on it for quite a long time and have been grateful for it. Now, however my GP decided it's been long enough and that I should try to go without. Easy for you to say! Every time a hot flush would overcome me I'd curse my thirty something male GP. I've some research though and I'm reluctantly agreeing with him. I can't stand these waves of heat, but the possible alternatives aren't worth the risk. I'm taking a herbal concoction which has been purported to have good results. I hope they kick in. The slightest bit of uncertainty or angst can trigger one off as well as the ones that just happen anyway. When I come back from down south I'll review my diet as I know being as healthy as possible is very important. My main concern is that with uni coming up I don't want to have to cope with menopausal symptoms as well as the normal stressors that my extra commitments will add onto my already busy life.

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Super Food Ideas

2011-06-06T19:04:00.002+10:00

I love the fact that my iPad is now used for recipes and it's so easy to have on the kitchen bench.

I'd heard that Super Food Ideas was adding an e magazine version but was disappointed as I'd read it was only going to be .50c cheaper than the paper copy.However I was very excited to read on blog that each copy was only $1.19. That's fantastic. I love the way it's set out and it's so cheap. I won't have to throw out an old SFI magazine again. You download the app from the iTunes store for free and then you can buy issues through the app.
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A busy Day

2011-05-31T20:07:00.001+10:00

I seem to be doing lots of errands and appointments at the moment. In a way I feel like I'm nesting. Just like I did before my first child was born. I want to get as much organized before I go down south and before I go to uni.

Mum some cake which she wanted to give me so I popped in this morning and had a coffee with them. I had an appointment to have my moles checked. I had to have a biopsy taken of one on my neck as the doctor thinks it's a sun cancer. Hope it comes back clear, otherwise I need more cut out. While there though I got into a conversation with a practice nurse. She's an EEN and feels she's too old to become an RN. I told her I was going to do nursing and asked how old she was. She was the same age as me and she admitted she didn't think I was too old!! Plus I did a spiel on the iPad. I said I gave her lots to think about. She told me one of the receptionists was doing her nursing and I had a quick chat with her before I left. She's in her third year, has a young family and also works. Talking to her gave me heart. I hope to keep in touch with her and talk to her some more. Her girlfriend is doing nursing at USC like me. She's going to put me in touch with her.

Afterwards I headed in to Woolies and picked up some vegetables and had a quick browse in Big W. I then headed out to the new Vinnie's store. For $7.50 I got Sammy a nice lime green beanie, a pink fleecy scarf and a long but short sleeved warm cardigan. With the return of my hot flushes I like my body quite warm but my arms bare. I was rapt with my bargains. I returned home and then checked my Voicemail to hear that my new glasses have arrived. I headed out and collected them. My glasses are blue and green, I love them. My new sunnies are black with a large blingy crystal on the arms. I love both of them and they're quite comfortable too.

Once home I had some left over chicken soup for dinner and continued watching some of the Movie that I'd taped last night. It's based on a Catherine Cookson novel called The Cinder Path

My Dad rang to tell me that he'd possibly broken his wrist as well. Last week, while walking along the road near his home, with the sun in his eyes and a truck coming towards him, he didn't see that there was. Part of the road washed away. The uneven road causes him to fall. He suffered nasty deep cuts in both hands that required several sutures. His wrist is quite so and swollen so today he had an x-ray to see if it's broken. I worry about my parents. Not being able to use his hands, my Dad is quite incapacitated. My Mum hasn't driven much at all in the last ten years and now lacks confidence to even drive short distances. I love my Mum and Dad ao very very much and am worried about them. I naturally want them to be well and safe and happy. I'd feel much better if they lived in a retirement village but my Dad has always baulked at the idea. I'd like it much better if they were in a place that was easier to look after, both inside and outside. I'm glad that I'm close. Ricky is home at the moment. We didn't speak but I know he's worried too. It's our turn now to worry about them.

After school pick up I decided to race onto Specsavers to have my sunnies adjusted. Billy-Joe and Mickey went into EB Games and when I went in to collect them we noticed Ricky and the girls in there. We spent a lovely half hour or so having a coffee with them.

I looked at some sites as I need to do my First Aid and CPR course, have my Hepatitis B shots and also get my blue card done before I can do any nursing practicums.

The house is quiet now. My favourite time of the day.

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I can't do it alone

2011-05-27T08:51:00.000+10:00

It's been another busy busy week. Honestly, one wouldn't think I'm a Mum at home, with the schedule that I set myself. Between going to Brisbane for Billy-Joe's appointment and the car being serviced, having to go to uni to have my student id done, and all the general household stuff, it's been a hectic week.

To say I'm scared about studying full time is an understatement. Add in to that the headaches I get, and the pain of my various troublesome tendons and arthritic joints, am I being too optimistic? I think back to when I did my teaching degree, and I spent oodles of money and time having physio and massages. My thoracic spine was giving me lots of trouble then, and is still the same now. Once my head is bent over books for hours at a time, this will only worsen. Am I crazy to think I can have a job where I'm walking and am on my feet all day? Spending the day at Chermside on Wednesday, left me with sore achilles and sore feet.

I could look at all that and think it's too hard I can't do it, but I'm feeling very determined. I look at my motivation for doing this, and they're numerous. I do want to work, I want to do a job where I feel I belong. I want to learn more and be a part of a team to help others. My teaching degree could have fulfilled that, were it not so damn hard to get a permanent job. I did look into what I could do to finish my Special Education degree, as I know having that would assure me of work, not permanent work straight away, but it would greatly increase the chances and I'd be working close to home. I know I am suited to that role, but it's not where my passion is. Honestly I can't really explain why studying full time for two years to become a nurse is more appealing than studying for a Graduate Diploma for Special Ed. I've always been drawn toward nursing, and spending time in hospital with Billy-Joe just made me realize how much all over again.

I know I can't do this alone. I've already lost count of the prayers I've said. There'll be so many more as the load becomes a reality and I'm in the thick of things. In many ways I know I'll cope with the studying okay, it's the added pressures of having a household and family to take care of.

I'm motivated by the thought, that when I'm working, I can employ a cleaner again, that will be a huge help. The kids are getting older and know they need to help me. My husband is getting older and finds the long hours he currently works is getting harder and harder. Me working again, will take the pressure off. I don't think he'll work any less, I just think he'll work the same with the knowledge that if he wants to he can cut back. There's a big difference. I've not worked in the last 18 months and he's working harder than ever. He now sees a light at the end of the tunnel.

I've got a few more weeks to enjoy being at home and to get my head in the right place. My trip to Geelong and Ballarat, is timely. A time to spend with Sammy and my long time long friend. This will fulfill the yearning and homesickness I feel for Geelong. Even after 22 years, I still miss the place. I'm looking forward to so many different things. Clothes shopping, seeing the different foods, seeing the prices of fruit, meat and vegies at the markets, walking around rugged up in a coat, seeing the gardens. I wish it was spring so I could see the flowers that I miss. I was so excited at the florist's the other day when she put out a huge bunch of freesias!!! My absolute favourite flower, I couldn't justify spending $3 for a stem though, ridiculous. I hope mine come up in the garden......I miss lilac trees, and magnolias, and tulips, and cottage gardens, growing vegies without them being eaten completely by bugs, flowering fruit trees, roses........ there's lots of things I miss. Going home for a bit will be lovely.

Don't get me wrong, home is here, but Geelong, is home home. Where I was born and where I grew up.

Thank goodness my blog is called what it is........as this post has gone all over the place. Lots of things on my mind at the moment. Lots of things to enjoy and look forward to, but with a level of cautiousness too.

The future shines brightly

2011-05-24T20:58:00.001+10:00

I've been so incredibly busy of late that I wonder if I'll even have time to do what I've planned for the next two years.

I've been accepted into uni. On the 25/7 I will commence my nursing degree.

When I received notification last week. I couldn't wait to accept the offer. Somehow I thought if I didn't accept it immediately it may disappear.

I've been overwhelmed with the response of friends and family. I've not had a negative comment come my way. Most of all I'm thankful for my supportive and encouraging husband. I couldn't wish for a more understanding man.

Today I went to uni and walked around and organized my student ID. I sat at the cafe and didn't feel out of place there at all. I just soaked up the ambience. Actually the campus is beautiful and not overly large. I'm looking forward to exploring it more. It's a nice feeling too, knowing that there are a few people there that I know.

I'm excited. The time ahead is going to be incredibly busy. I know I'm going to feel stressed and far too busy. I'll need reminding of that frequently.

Just a short update for today.

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Saving Faith

2011-05-15T17:50:00.001+10:00

I think it's sadly profound how a throw away statement from thirty years ago can still have a palpable effect today. When I got married the first time I agreed to marry in a Catholic church although I wasn't prepared to convert. My prospective husband called me a heathen as my faith and understanding was of an eclectic nature. Even though I had a faith and was prepared to say my vows in a Catholic church even though that was not my choice. I graciously agreed his parents' preferences.

As a preteen, teen and young adult I had an ongoing journey in Faith. My baby brother had a best friend whose family were involved in the local Baptist Church. My brother and I attended regularly, every week we were an avid part of Sunday School and the sermon. I praise my parents in my prayers often for their attitude which they bestowed upon me. I loved learning about the Bible and I was comfortable to ask questions. I felt blessed that I could take part in communion without having gone through a rite of passage. My dedication earned me a lovely Bible and various bookmarks which I loved. I knew the chapters of the Bible off by heart. I attended choir performances in Melbourne, I went to countless pot luck dinners. I loved it there. The church was in a colourbond shed, plain, nondescript. Inside it was a simple church with pews and pulpit. I'm sure there was a cross somewhere. Simple, plain and full of wonderful people.

I wanted to convert to Baptist and my parents in their wisdom told me to hold off until I was older. I felt such a sense of belonging to that church. My parents never attended, nor felt pressured to. The Minister would come and call on Mum from time to time, if I remember correctly Mr. Green even started the lawnmower for Mum when she wanted to help and surprise Dad.
My parents let us attend all the events we wanted to go to. The only time Mum ever took umbrage was when we had communion (once a month) and the roast lunch had to be delayed because we would be home later than usual.

When I began my first job I had a girlfriend who was Catholic. I spent a lot of time with her and her family. I'd attend the beautiful Catholic Church and went on some camps. We would go to an evening mass and it was special. The priest was young and we'd be invited back to the presbytery afterwards for pizza and lemonade and it was great I loved it. I could have stayed there and perhaps not made some of my early life mistakes had they not jumped on me and tried to convert me the moment they knew I wasn't Catholic. Such a shame. This wasn't the last time that church folk thwarted my journey of Faith. Unfortunately my stubborn nature often felt pressure when I was confronted with opinions differed to my own and rather than wade it out I left. It's a shame. They too were good people wanting to share their faith with me and I was frightened. Not strong enough within myself or my faith to take it for what it was. Too young and stupid and scared of what might transpire.

Enter stage left a prospective husband who has no willingness for church attendance but because of familial pressure insisted on a Catholic wedding. I have no issue with that. I'm a Christian after all. Denomination means naught to me at this stage. Even now it means little.

The only point I took issue with, was that I wouldn't say 'I obey' and I'd ask curly questions at the pre marital sessions. Those questions endeared me not to Catholicism at that time. Again my faith was tested and I was pushed away.

It was because of my questions and curiosity that my first husband labelled me a heathen.

Fast forward seven years...........

Now I've had two failed marriages and I'm painfully and debilitatingly ill with a slipped disc. I'm sad and believing I have come to a point where I've seriously given God a reason to finally do me in. After all my sins and transgressions God has finally had enough and has decided that a normal life was too good for me. Why else was I in the prime of my life, with two failed marriages, few friends and I'm in and out if hospital in chronic pain.

I spent a lot of time on my own. My parents were wonderful during this time and spent hours sitting with me, I honestly don't know what I would gave done without them at that stage of my life. I still had too much time on my hands. Time to pray, to think, to ponder. Someone on the nursing staff brought me a Bible. It was a little red New Testament Gideons Bible. I can still remember the evening after many days of searching for answers when I came across a Psalm which made me realize that God wasn't punishing me. I can still feel the relief wash over me. That moment when I knew that God was neither vindictive nor punitive.

During the months of pain and the time around my surgery I felt at peace and I had an inner strength gained from my prayers. For a few months during this time I attended the Lutheran Church in Nambour. I chose here as that is what I was baptized and my brother, his wife and her family worshipped there.

I never felt a connection with this church. Again my faith was stalled. My Christian growth once again went into hiatus.

I never lost faith or ever doubted in God. It was no longer a priority in my life.

I've always prayed. Often even just reciting the 'Lord's Prayer'. I was so conscious of not always coming to God with a shopping list that I wouldn't pray my own prayer. The Lords Prayer said it for me. It was a comfort. I knew the lines of communication were still open but I wasn't putting any conscious thought or effort into it.

I fell in love and married again. Years later, ten years after my hospital stint, I had a baby who was quite ill. I knew that God was with me during that time. Apart from when my Dad was in hospital and had his triple bypass, and my illness, I'd never before known that level of uncertainty which can come with the 'unknown' or where the future is uncertain. A premature baby who has breathing difficulties is wrought with worry and uncertainty, but the whole time we were in hospital I felt sheltered in a way I can't explain.

I had a long walk from my hospital bed and to the Intensive care unit where Sammy was, and, again lots of time to think. Several times a day I would walk past the chaplain's office and I yearned to have someone to talk to and someone to pray with. Being the day before the Y2K. I had no chance of finding anyone to talk to.

Once home the reality of two young children hit me and it hit me hard. I was lonely. It was no longer easy to go out. my children needed their routine and they needed to be home and in their beds for naps.

A friend came and visited me one day and I told her I was lonely. She gave me a phone number of a lady who ran a mothers group for children at preschool level or younger.

I attended this MOPS group for many years. The woman who ran this group was to become my best friend. This friendship began the start of my life as it is now and she's also become the catalyst I was looking for to become part of a church I love.

I started at the MOPS group early on 2000. It was a fortnightly group for mothers of young children which was under the auspice of the local Church of Christ. The children were looked after for two hours and we would spend the time with other mums. The first part of the morning we would complete a craft. After a morning tea we would read from and discuss aspects of a Christian book on families. These mornings was a Godsend for me. I was able to be sans kids, make new friends and begin to build a special friendship with a wonderful lady.

The MOPS morning before Easter we were all given an Easter egg from the ladies if the church. Attached to these eggs was a strip of paper with church service times. That Good Friday I was there and my church life was forever changed. As I entered the church foyer I was greeted by sincere welcomes which overwhelmed me. On entering the church proper I was taken aback by the volume and tempo of the music and the sight of a full band up on a stage.

Week after week I felt myself being swept up with the worshipful mood and the wonderful songs of praise. The first time I'd heard Barbi sing, I felt goosebumps run up and down my arm. Never before had I heard such heartfelt singing in praise of Jesus. I was touched, deeply so. The first time I partook in Holy Communion I felt the Holy Spirit. A feeling of such serenity and warmth overcame me, I cannot explain it as anything else. I was where I was meant to be. It was like coming home into safe, comfortable and welcoming arms.

For the next few years I went along regularly and attended all the information evenings and talks as I was hungry for knowledge. I made a public acknowledgement that Christ was my Lord and saviour.

During this time I was again pregnant and spent a lot of time in and put of hospital. Pregnancy with Mickey was not an easy time. Sammy was still so young and such a handful. The church was fantastic toward me. I had their emotional support, as well as food and visits which were all very much appreciated.

Mickey was born and not well. Thankfully he didn't require a trip to Brisbane like Sammy. The pastor and his wife visited while Mickey was in the special care unit. I'll never forget how his vital signs improved as we stood around him praying.

The following years saw many changes in my life.

At this point Barbi and I were fast friends and our lives were firmly intertwined.

God was smiling upon us and we were blessed with the opportunity to buy our own home which was across the road from where we currently lived. That's a story unto itself though, so I won't go into that now.

We also started Daisy's during this time, so that was very exciting and while I'm no longer a business partner, Daisy's is an important part of my life. God has also blessed Daisy's from the staff who work there, to the whole ethos of the place. It's become Barbi's ministry and Daisy's is so much more than just a store.

Sadly the church went through so many changes during this time to the point where it was no longer the church it had once been. They caused so much hurt and pain for Barbi and her family, it was not a good time. I left the church. I couldn't be a part of a place that could cause so much hurt and heartache. MOPS changed the venue, they went from a larger centre to the church foyer. This felt that we were no longer welcome. The funny thing is that this area is used for gatherings nowadays and I no longer feel displaced.

I'd stopped going to church about 7 years ago and while I wanted to return the timing wasn't right. I went to the carols just before Christmas and then started going to church from then.

The pastor is amazing. Casual, learned, passionate and wise. I admire him. I enjoy how he interprets the Bible. I can use his translations in my daily life. Things I can do to become closer to God. Things I can do to become a better Christian.

While my knowledge of the Bible is still scant I enjoy devotional time and love my conversations with God. I have found an inner peace which is wonderful and I come to God now for everything. Sometimes I will forget and then it comes over me in a rush, that I'm not alone. That He understands and will alway listen.

Daily I pray for myself and for others. For those close to me, and for those I don't even know.

I find I am much more able now to accept that things are in God's hands. It's brought me a calm I've never before even imagined. I'm a long way from being a perfect Christian (I don't believe there is such a being). But it's something I will always strive for.

I see the Lord's presence in all areas of my life and for that I'm eternally grateful.

Now I look forward to growing in my Faith and to living my faith every single day.

I have loved this quote since I was a young teen.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Reinhold Niebuhr

The words have always had a powerful effect on me. Now the do more than ever.

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Another day in the big smoke

2011-05-03T18:39:00.001+10:00

Today we had Billy-Joe's appointment with the paediatric rheumatologist. Thank God he's been given the all clear from any vasculitis related diseases. It doesn't look like he's got arthritis or any auto immune diseases either. He's small because he's small, and many boys who have puberty late, end up being quite tall, and it's not unusual for those boys to not have their growth spurt until around 16 years of age. That made us feel better. He's growing, just very slowly. His weight is good for his height too. Put it this way, it's a much better situation than having an obese child. He will have more tests done and we will continue with more in depth respiratory tests to check further into the coughing issue. So at minimum, we'll have another three visits to Brisbane before this is complete.

We had a good day, although it was very tiring. We hit a massive storm on the way home and I crawled into a petrol station as visibility was extremely poor. We waited around 20 minutes and then drove home the rest of the way in rain. I've always been scared driving in the rain, I didn't do too badly and it was absolutely torrential. I'm glad I pulled over.

We had a nice time at the shopping centre. I bought Sammy some winter clothes for when we go and visit Laureen, and I got a knitted tunic top and a stretch tunic top that I can wear with tights here and when we go down South. We went into Typo and I bought the letter 'I', a heart and an apple. I also bought some little douvers to put cables in from the computer, to stop them falling down behind the machine when items are unplugged. I loved the coffee travel mug and the metal mail holder too. Some great things there.

We had a late lunch, junk food, which I could have done without. I won't have dinner, a bowl of muesli or something later on with a cup of tea is all I need.

I can't believe it's Wednesday already tomorrow.

Random Stuff

2011-04-25T18:21:00.001+10:00

Everyday I have blog posts floating around in my head. I've mentioned this before, but it's something which I do daily. I have things I don't want to forget, little, trivial but important things. Things that make up my life.

Apologies that the photos are all over the place. Blogo just puts them anywhere lol.....

This was a leaf insect the cats were after in the garden and I rescued it from them, I've never seen one before. This is the biggest insect I've ever seen, he was so heavy.

It's been a huge week. With the Nursing and Health Expo last Sunday, and then another jaunt to Brisbane on Wednesday, added to the norm, it was a tiring but interesting and exciting week. I can't believe my little car has already done 2000kms, when most of my driving consists of school and stuff. I will have watch this as my insurance policy is dependant upon the amount of kms I drive. I still so very very happy with the choice of car I made. It's an absolute delight to drive. The Camry, (old lady car) was good to drive on the open road, but was slow, sluggish and the handling around roundabouts wasn't the best. This little car, while I do notice that it's a small motor, is easy to handle and responsive, love it. Love the bluetooth feature, so awesome to be able to ring and receive calls, with a small click of the dashboard, or by speaking.

I had my hair cut and recoloured. Not sure if I like it, or if I should go back shorter and more into a bob, or add more layers.....

Wednesday's Brisbane visit was primarily for Billy-Joe's specialist review. The pneumonia recovery is travelling along as expected so all is well there. His breathing and lung capacity is still down, so the whole is it asthma or not debate, is still out of contention, until the pneumonia is completely gone. He had to do a breathing test, have a chest x-ray and also needed a long list of blood tests done. Unfortunately, the phlebotomist, couldn't find a viable vein, and after two attempts and a slightly nauseous boy, we left pathology having left no blood behind. I'll take him to the local hospital tomorrow, so hopefully it will be better. I've had him drinking more fluid this weekend, so this will help. The specialist is concerned as Billy-Joe has many of the same markers as I do, with inflammatory indicators. As my arthritis is still being monitored and a correct treatment hasn't been reached yet, we need to keep a close on him too, as it's possible he has something too. The constant coughing is also an issue, which he will watch. He has dropped his seretide strength, so this will be interesting to see what happens from here.

We made a good day of it too, and left home after I dropped off Sammy and Mickey. We spent most of the day at the Westfield shopping centre. I bought Billy-Joe some new winter clothes, and then we went to see Hop. I love Bunny Rabbits, so much, and when I saw the shorts for this when Billy-Joe was in hospital, I knew we'd have to go and see it. It was just gorgeous, wish I could have a stuffed Bunny like that, he was so cute........

Now another week has passed and I've not even finished that post grrrrr.............

Since the visit to Brisbane, we've had some school holidays, although they are whizzing by at lightning speed. On the Monday we went and had lunch at Peter's place. He has his friends' kids stay most holidays and enjoys it when we come over too. It was a miserable rainy day, but we ate and drank coffee and the kids watched movies and played games. The hours just went by. I'd wanted Billy-Joe to have his blood test done before we went there but there were heaps of people waiting, so we left. We almost got drenched, as it was teeming down, just for something different......

I admired this bracelet on Flickr the other day and my girlfriend bought it for me. I was so surprised and I think it's absolutely beautiful. Love the two colours and also the fact she's bought one with a Bunny on it.

The rest of the week and Easter has just flown by too. I did housework and Daisy work, and even went out into the garden on one day. Good Friday Billy-Joe and I went to Church. It was a beautiful service. I find this service so special, a service of hope. Eleven years ago, I went back to church and it was a Good Friday service. The message really hit home with me. Barbi has been encouraging me to come back for many years. I was so disillusioned with what happened many years ago, that I felt I'd never go back to church. After she's been back to Church of Christ again for a few years, I still wasn't ready to go back. I knew there was a new minister, one who specializes in 'healing churches' and their congregations. I'm glad I didn't go back then, even though the man is just lovely, he's a little hard core for me. I don't take kindly to fundamentalism and find this type of preaching is what keeps people away from church. The current minister is a younger man. Probably in his early forties, with a staunch Catholic upbringing, with most of the ritualism stripped away, but with a need to still favour some traditions and rituals. I like that, as my faith is not 'straight down the line' and I need to be 'taught' from someone who's theological views are from different arenas. In the years, I've not attended church, my faith hasn't gone away or anything, but I find it became aimless and yet I was always hungry for knowledge and to become closer to God. My Sunday mornings of praise and worship stay with me for the entire week, and help me to stay focussed, calm and safe. My prayers aren't pretty, or prosaic, rather their conversations with the Heavenly Father. Billy-Joe enjoys coming with me, and finds the services interesting and thought provoking. Having an almost 15 year old boy coming willingly with me, is a precious gift. I'm glad it's something we enjoy together.

I would have liked to go to church on Sunday, to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. It would have been rather special to be there for the Easter Sunday service. It's too hard for me to make it though. With family coming for lunch, I'm busy. Actually I wonder, how in years past we used to go to Peter's parents' house as well. Such a huge day. Even though Dad isn't 100% we had a fabulous time together. We are just so comfortable together, it's pretty cool actually. Before Mum and Dad arrived, we drove up to a friends' house to collect an outdoor table they no longer wanted. It was so good having a larger, sturdier table and using the old one for the salad and stuff. We had our Easter Hunt and the kids had a ball, I got some nice photos, even though the light was not the best and my ISO was quite high. I wonder how these pics will print out, they always good okay on the screen. I'd love a faster zoom lens, or a camera that takes better photos, and goes to a higher ISO. I just love the look of photos taken in the later afternoon. The colours are so saturated, and our garden looks sensational. The girls came around in the early evening and had some Easter Cupcakes with us. It's just great now that Julia drives, as she can come when I ask her to. Kiana came along too, which was lovely.

I asked Mum and Dad, if they would come on holidays with us. We get on really well, and spending a holiday with them would be great fun. Plus an added benefit is that we can use their car for luggage. We'll take my little car and their car and pack as lightly as possible. I've already looked up some houses, and because Mum and Dad agreed and are happy to go halves, I've seen some amazing homes. Just beautiful actually. I was almost beginning to think we wouldn't go away this year.

Trying to get Mickey to take a pic of my haircut. I said just get my head, meaning fill the frame with my head and don't worry about my body or background lol......

Today, I got up early, after listening to my audiobook for quite a few hours. I had breakfast, fed Mickey and then went back to bed after I'd been up for an hour and a half. I laid snuggling in my bed and then read some of my ebook and then got up and got ready to go out to another BBQ. Peter's sister and her partner and their little girl are moving to WA, so today was to say goodbye. Honestly I'd have been quite happy to stay home. It was nice though. The rain held off and the house is on an amazing property. Trees, kangaroos and not much else. Peaceful. The kids had a ball playing with Lily, their youngest cousin. Her little face was quite woebegone when we left. Being an only child, she enjoyed their company.

The day Billy-Joe and I went to Chermside I was so excited when we walked past the Apple Store. I'd actually forgotten it was there, so you can imagine my delight when we accidentally stumbled onto it. Loved it, it was huge, and so cool that they clapped as someone walked out with their new iPad.

Enjoying a drink at lunch.

Another trip to Brisbane

2011-04-11T20:59:00.000+10:00

Yesterday Billy-Joe and I went to the Nursing and Health Expo

It was exciting on more than one count. I have only ever driven into the city once in all the years I've lived in Qld. Pretty pathetic really and wouldn't be a huge issue except that Peter doesn't know his way around either so whenever we need or want to go there it's a huge drama or we shelve it because it's too hard. I bought the Tom Yom app for my iPhone and it's given me confidence. I figure if I don't know where I am the GPS might lol. Probably not the best way to be but having said that even though I don't know exactly where I am I wasn't totally ignorant of mu surroundings and I changed lanes when I needed to, even though the GPS didn't tell me to. It was great as I couldn't get into parking so at least Tom could tell me where to go as in Brisbane you can't just turn around. So with the one way streets I tend to lose what little sense of direction I have.

The expo had lots of stalls with representation from the various unis and then lots of employers and agencies. I'll definitely visit again when I finish. I did learn that the options for work are huge. We spent a good hour and a half there gathering info and talking to CQU, USC and QUT. I was impressed with CQU. I've now added them to my preferences. I think I could cope with external studies especially when it's run as well as they do it. I remember when I was doing my teaching and then afterwards when I started the Grad Dip in Special Ed that USQ and CQU were the forerunners of external studies. UNE has always had a good reputation too for distance Ed.

We stopped at the Caboolture Service Centre and had lunch. Shouldn't have eaten the KFC but it was good seeing Billy-Joe eat a huge burger. Neither of us ate dinner so I guess it wasn't so bad.

I've changed my preferences now, I've deleted QUT graduate entry which I'd just thrown in there for the ski of it. They won't consider my last degree which okay as I've no intention if driving to Brisbane many times per week. They do have a campus in Caboolture though.

Now I gave USC Graduate Entry as my first preference although I don't like my chances. I've put down for CQU as my second preference and it's still on my QTAC application, so they've not barred those two. Fingers crossed.

I took my Dad to the doctor today as he's not well. He's been having fevers and hallucinating too. The doc thinks he might have Pneumonia!!!! I certainly pray that he doesn't. Or, if he does that it's a mild case. Very mild. My Dad says he was hallucinating about all his family who've been gone many years. His sister, his brother, and his Mum. He said they'd come to get him. I reckon they can just keep waiting. I'm not ready to let him go. I'm sure there are others who agree with me. I still can't believe he's now over 80. I hope he gets better very soon. Tomorrow he goes back. No doubt to check his white blood cell count. And they say kids are a worry!!!!

I told Mum and Dad about me wanting to go back and study. The more I think about it the better the idea feels to me. All the 'lostness' I've felt lately has gone. I have direction again. Who would have thought that spending two weeks in hospital with a sick child could lead to me going back to study. I remember when I started at the Special School I'd looked up study options. Option which would only take to years part time study but which would qualify me as a Special Ed teacher and virtually guarantee me work!! Sadly it left me cold. Am I a good teacher ? Yes! Is it my lifelong ambition? No. Perhaps if the entire system was different, things might be different. Perhaps too if I'd stayed with teaching instead of having having my family. I don't know. All I know is that my heart isn't in it. Not at all.

Feeling betwixt and between

2011-04-03T12:47:00.000+10:00

I hate feeling like this.

Not sure if it’s depression rearing its ugly head, as it tends to from time to time. A little reminder, to show me that yes, I feel good, but don’t get so cocky as to believe you are 100% cured.

Or could it be that entering normality again, is just a huge, rude shock. The insular and safe nature of being in hospital with Billy-Joe had quite a sheltering affect on me. I felt safe, peaceful and I knew I was where I was needed most. While I knew my family missed me, I knew they were in good hands too, no need to me to worry about them at all.

I feel good when I’m surrounded by my friends, and I’m out and about, but at home I feel a little lost. The full load of responsibility of household and family has landed wholly and soley upon my lap again, where it belongs, but perhaps the speed in which real life travels is a rude awakening.

I do know, however, that this feeling will pass, it always does. It’s how I feel after the rush of Christmas is over, it’s how I feel after a crises situation, I felt like this coming home from hospital with Sammy when he’d spent his early days in the neonatal intensive care unit in Brisbane, that was the first time I’d experienced it and identified it.
Crisis over.
Now I can feel like crap!
That’s it in a nutshell I think. Now my mind goes crazy and creates ‘what if’ scenarios and the thankfulness I feel creates a guilt. A guilt for those not so lucky as I and mine.

The rational side of my mind, ticks over, a little slowly, but it casts a reprimand over my irrational side. It’s the quieter voice which will gain volume and momentum in the days ahead. Then it will once again be the dominant voice and these days will see a distant memory.

The mind is a complex minefield. I keep trying to understand myself better, to avoid these dips in mindset.

Today, I sit quietly on my bed with my Macbook. Peter is looking after the boys and spending time with them, the rain is pouring down outside, and we are all safe in our haven. I’m resting here, with my thoughts, prayers and my words, taking a little time out for the equilibrium to return. And it will return, I know that, I just need a little patience and to be kind to myself.

What to bring when spending time with a child in hospital

2011-03-29T08:45:00.000+10:00

I made this list to help me should I ever need it again, or perhaps it may come up on a google search and help another Mum. Having certain items with me made my stay easier and some were necessary.

List of things to take when spending time with a sick child in hospital.

1. Comfortable clothes as you'll spend lots of time sitting and may end up sleeping in your clothes too. Take jeans for when you walk to shops or leave hospital complex.
Make sure you have pockets so you can have your phone on at all times on vibrate so as not to disturb sleeping patients.
2. All toiletries. If you like to wear makeup take the bare minimum, for example blush, lip liner, lip stick and eye brow pencil. Don't bother with mascara, as it's too difficult to take off. Take a foaming cleanser/toner so you can easily remove. A powdered foundation can be handy too and is easy to remove.
Nail clippers and nail file. Nails grow quickly when you're not doing your regular chores. Nail polish of you like as you will have time to apply and it's nice to do something for yourself.
3. Lip balm as being constantly in the air conditioned room yours and your child's lips will quickly dry out.
4. Face moisturiser and body lotion. Soap isn't crucial as it's supplied on hospital bathroom walls but you will need to add moisture back afterwards.
5. Hand mirror and brush/comb.
6. Deodorant and hairspray if needed, and hairdryer of course. Unless your hair is maintenance free.
7. Large handbag, if you normally use a tiny one, switch to a larger one as you'll carry around more items than usual.
8. All prescription medication, and take scripts too as you may stay longer than you think.
Paracetomol and Ibuprofen. Nursing staff are not allowed to treat parents of patients so it's handy to have headache remedies.
9.A travel cup. Hot tea/coffee is not allowed on the wards. You may be allowed to use a spill free cup and a nice hot cuppa becomes quite a treat.
10. Cash. Many things you can EFTPOS but for buying small things like drinks and coffees it's handy to have cash. There are ATMs around on the hospital grounds if you need them.
11. A laptop or handheld tablet device. For me to have been able to wile away the hours emailing, writing and surfing the web. I can honestly say I was never bored. I also had my Devotional book but only for the latter part of my stay. I also have daily readings on my iPad. This helped keep me focussed, calm when things were uncertain and thankful for the many positive happenings. Perspective and comfort are powerful companions and to have daily reminders was a balm for my soul. Having access to the Internet meant I was always in contact with family and close friends. Messages, thoughts and prayers help with the long days and the feeling of loneliness is eased.

A collection of ponderings.

2011-03-29T08:20:00.000+10:00

It's almost incomprehensible to believe that this all started two weeks ago. By the time we leave we will have spent well over two weeks in hospital.

Strangely enough, in spite of the stress we've had some good moments. It's been a time of bonding to what already was a close relationship which has become even closer. We've had some funny moments too which has been clinically beneficial as he'd fall into paroxysms of coughing.

We are living in a bubble here, quite insular without much outside influence. It's a strange way to be and quite amazing how quickly one can adapt.

As in all situations things continue around one. These are my observations in no particular order of occurrence and importance.

- there have been Apple updates which needed doing on iPhone and my iPad.
- I had to buy nail clippers and nail polish to redo my nails as they looked rather feral.
- the use by date on the milk has given me a shock.
- my prescriptions have needed renewing
- my mail is being brought in to me
- correspondence at home has needed tending too
- my hair has grown
- I've had lots of time to think and plan
- New routines are quickly developed

Time has gone by slowly and quickly. So much has happened and yet so little. I am very happy to be going home today with my boy and yet we will both always cherish this time we've had together.

A Social Day in Hospital

2011-03-24T21:07:00.000+10:00

What a huge day? It's not long after 8.30am and I've left Billy-Joe to snooze. He is exhausted after the day we've had. Not much of today was spent in bed. Basically from 10.30 onwards we were busy.

Billy-Joe went off with Max, the physiotherapist. She did some walking beep test stuff with him today. His lungs coped okay, bis ankles and knees not so well. We definitely need to look into these joint problems too. We want to get our boy to the healthiest he can be, to not be hampered by undiagnosed and untreated pain. Just before he headed to Physio a friend of ours Pete arrived, bearing gifts of scrumptious chocolates for both of us. Pete andi went downstairs for coffee. We were still sitting there when Billy-Joe finished. I was expecting two other visitors and I didn't tell Billy-Joe who was coming. Cath and Blake arrived, with Nan and Darby, Chrissy and Carlee in tow. What a lovely surprise. We sat and had another coffee and then headed to the ward so Billy-Joe could be hooked up to his IV again. Then we went into the Parent Room and Cath cut Billy-Joe's hair. It Looks so much better shorter. We went back to the ward and I had a late lunch. After his antibiotics were finished we decided to go on our walk.

We walked over to the Food Court had a drink and another sit out in the fresh air and the. We walked back. I could see Billy-Joe was had it when we got back.

We've gotten to the point where we don't even think that we will go home soon and we've fallen into a new routine in our new ward. The doctors visited us this morning and told us they were still not happy with the temperature spikes. They are trying to decide whether or. Ot to give Billy-Joe a CAT scan as they're concerned there might be an abscess, or something that the 'bug' has developed to make itself resilient toward the antibiotic. It all sounds rather serious to me so there's no way I'm going to be painful and push to go home. There's too much at stake.

Bunny is visiting tomorrow,bringing us some we things we need, including my MacBook and some school work for Billy-Joe.

I can say we made the most of today. I made Billy-Joe laugh loads of times. I'm trying to get him to eat more too, that's hard with the cruddy food he gets. He's actually hanging out for one of my stir fries!!!!!

One Week Post Surgery

2011-03-23T18:38:00.002+10:00

Who would have thought that long Sunday spent in emergency would lead to such a long stay in hospital.

And we are not going anywhere in a hurry either.

Being in this new ward has had its down moments. Like I said yesterday I can't sleep beside Billy-Joe which isn't a bad thing because I actually slept and wasn't awoken by staff, beeping IV machines or moaning children. These a boy with cerebral palsy in the same ward. His Mum shores and he whimpers and moans. Poor Billy-Joe was in tears when I came back bedside. I really felt for him, his big sad eyes with shadows smudged underneath them in his pale face nearly broke my heart. It's not easy in this ward. I can't comfort myself either by saying that we've got it easy compared to the other kids and parents. Taking joy in another's misfortune doesn't bring me solace. I've used it for Billy-Joe more to help him gain an understanding of their situation, as kids so often are ignorant.

I have to focus on the situation at hand, it's my reality and something I need to consolidate within my mind.

In the morning we went to the gym with our Physio. Billy-Joe shot some hoops, and played on the Wii. Anything for a bit of aerobic activity, which helps expand the lungs and makes him cough too.

I'd woken up with yet another massive headache, which I couldn't budge with Nurofen plus. When it eased slightly but I was ready for more pain relief I walked over to pharmacy on my own. Billy-Joe wanted to come but I needed time on my own and wanted to be quicker as it's a fair way, even further now that we've moved.

Before I'd even left the floor, Dad rang which was lovely and much needed. It was good to be able to hear his voice and realize that home wasn't that far away. I got some meds at the chemist and then looked around the crowded food court to see what appealed. Peter rang while I debated joining the mile long queue in Subway. That was a much needed conversation and again it was good to be out of Billy-Joe's earshot. I could speak of my vasculitis concerns and let Peter know that the doctors were pretty sure it was in no way related to that. Thank God for that. During the conversation I faltered a little and held back some sobs. Peter offered to swap places but I declined. I know my place is here. I know that Billy-Joe needs me to be here. While I know Peter is doing it tough at home, in some ways it's not a bad thing. His appreciation for what I do has grown in leaps and bounds. He can still go to work and for the next few days Mickey is at school camp so there'll only be two of them at home, easy for Peter. Sammy on his own is a very serene child. Easy.

I bought my lunch and then headed back to the ward feeling proud of myself that I'm learning how to navigate this huge complex.

After my delicious Subway I went to have a lie down. The ward is so noisy and I don't like noise and when I have a headache I can't switch off from it. I slept on the two seater lounge for a couple of hours and felt much better for it. When I came back Billy-Joe had had a blood test. It was not without drama though as he has my veins and they're shrinking away from needles. The phlebotomist had two attempts and drew nothing. Protocol here states you only get two attempts. One of the doctors took him to the treatment room as was able to draw the required amount.

The Infectious Disease guys came to visit too. If the fevers keep spiking we could be here for another few weeks. We are hoping that the changed antibiotics will give him a better chance at going home a little sooner.

It's a day at a time.

I've been praying for patience and peace.

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Looking forward to better days.

2011-03-22T22:06:00.001+10:00

I glad we've both got good outlooks otherwise today would have been dreadful.

I was quite sad this morning when we were told that we would have to move out of our ward. Wed grown rather comfortable there and already had a routine. The room was quiet with only one other patient and we had lots of room. I would spend the day in a very comfy recliner and then at night I'd roll out and unfold and make up my bed and push the recliner I to the bed's day spot. I was right beside Billy-Joe the entire time. I'd leave to go and have my shower and sometimes I'd go and have a cup of tea or I'd walk across to the main hospital to buy some food or go to the chemist but I was there all the rest of the time. I had offers to be collected so that I could spend the time elsewhere but I don't want to be anywhere else. Billy-Joe is relying on me and my company so very much. As it was now that we are in a new wars I cannot sleep beside him as there's not enough room for the stretcher. So I'm outside the ward and along the hall. I've set up my bed in a large open room which has breakfast facilities, lounge chairs, showers and toilets. The view is lovely though lol. It's a little lonely and strange.

The highlight of my day was Mike bringing my washing. What a kind and lovely man!! Now I have some fresh clothes which I like to wear. It's cooler here so I really misses the longer pants. Thank you Sheree for coming to collect my washing yesterday.

One of the doctors visited again this afternoon and told us we had to be patient. With the severity of the pneumonia they're not taking any chances. Sounds ominous. I wonder how kong we will remain here.

My baby boy goes on his first camp tomorrow and I won't be there to see him off and possibly won't be there when he comes home.

Peter is missing me badly. So good to hear his voice.
We've never spent so much time together before,well not since he was a baby. We've always been close and now we are even more so. We are so much alike it's a little scary. We can co exist very easily and harmoniously.

Update from RCH

2011-03-21T14:46:00.000+10:00

I'm so glad I'm able to keep updates while I'm here. I would have killed for an iPad whilst I was in hospital and Ronald McDonald House. I could have kept a journal of all that went on, I kno I've fit some details scratched into a notebook somewhere but a blog would have been awesome. I just hope ive done justice to the last week as far as recording.

I've kept positive the entire time I've been here. I've been stressed and worried at times of course. But I've managed to keep my attitude buoyant. This has had a twofold affect. I keep my own spirits high, and Billy-Joe benefits from that. No point me being miserable and a sad sack, that won't help him at all. I fear that it's hardest on Peter in many ways. He's continuing on at home with work, the house and the kids. Bless his heart but he's not used to working and doing everything at home. I've had bouts of doing that and it's hard. In many ways I found it much harder when we didn't know what was going on. I know Billy-Joe is in good hands and that this is the best place he can possibly be.

I've just been downstairs. A lovely angel just arrived to wash my unmentionables and my clothes I've been living in. I thought we were going home today and I've been wearing the most comfortable stuff. Thank God Sheree was Ble to drop everything to pick up our waging. Suzy (My Personal Shopping Angel) bought some singlet tops and a nice pair of yoga pants which are co comfy and I'll get heaps of wear out of at home. They need a wash now. Barbi was here yesterday and has quenched my Pepsi Max addiction. Dear Bunny ga e me some money so that my credit card gets a rest.

It's after two thirty and I'm ready for a rest. It's busy here and the relaxed moments are treasured. Billy-Joe has another fever so is feeling a bit flat now. I hope he bas a kip.

I spent last night researching doing my nursing degree some more. I could do it part time. It would take me six years. By that time the kids are out of school. Definitely something to think about. I could still be eligible for HECS/HELP as you're entitled to 7 years full time and I've only used 3.

Only God knows what the future holds.

Update

2011-03-20T21:54:00.000+10:00

The days here have passed by very quickly. I can't believe we have now been in Brisbane for this our sixth night. If anyone is like me and loves the full medical terminology of things Billy-Joe has a Complex pneumonia with a
pleural effusion and empyema. When you read at length about this I'm totally amazed at how strong and patient my boy has been. He's been through a lot. Actually he's still quite ill. While the surgery is behind us and the intercostal tube has been removed there is still a huge hill to climb. He still has a temperature everyday, has no appetite and is severely lethargic. He's still receiving nasal gastric feeds which is keeping him well nourished. Even if he were eating what's normal for him it wouldn't be enough to give him all the nutrients he needs.

He's had enough of being here. Peter is convinced he'd get better quicker if he were home. I'm not 100% convinced we are out of the woods yet and would rather stay here than go home too soon. At least help is close at hand here. In many ways it's easier for me to be here with him then to have him in NGH. He'd want me to spend the day with him which of course I would do, but then all my other responsibilities would still be waiting for me at home. This way I can focus on him and he can e my priority without me being torn by all the other things I need to do too.

We are fortunate as we are in a two bed ward and the other patient and his Mum spend many hours at home each day. So it's a peaceful room. The nursing and medical staff are awesome.

I've even spent much of this evening researching a nursing degree. I don't know. I am comfortable in a hospital environment. I love the medical knowledge I have and am always interested in knowing more. I'm probably getting too old to pursue a new career. I mean let's face it, I've never really had one. A career is something that you can grow with and advance through. What I've ever done, even the teaching I've done has always been just a job, never a career.

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Update from Royal Childrens' Hospital

2011-03-18T20:00:00.002+10:00

It's Friday we've been here now since Tuesday night.

He's been up and walking. I showered him and he ate a bowl of coco pops for breakfast. These things sound so positive but he's oh so miserable. The tube is also gone. He was so brave as that was being removed. We are here until at least Monday.

I have just found out that there's a lot of white still on his chest X-ray. It could be infection or it could be more fluid. He's developed a temperature too which isn't good. A doctor will come and check up on him later.

Family Update

2011-03-18T19:59:00.000+10:00

I can't even remembered what if anything I've posted about Billy-Joe's. I know if I don't post now, everything will blur.

Sunday morning Billy-Joe awoke and came in to see me saying that he was in a lot of pain and was having trouble breathing. I sat with him for a few minutes. Saw how puffed he was and the level of pain he was in and I rang the ambulance. I've never had to do that before. We were taken to NGH. From here on in I'll write in dot point.

.given ventolin in ambulance even though I knew it wasn't asthma
. Gave him oxygen and pain relief
. Took a chest x ray which was clear

. We were sent home 5 hours later. I was told it was muscular.
. Billy-Joe rested all afternoon on my bed with me
. Took kids to school and Billy-Joe to GP

. She rang ambulance immediately. She said he either had a punctured lung or pneumonia
. He was placed on oxygen
. Given pain relief in hospital
. Took another chest X-ray
. Diagnosis Pneumonia (One for Andrea Norton)

. Started immediately on IV antibiotics
. Took blood gases
. Admitted to Childrens' Ward 2pm

. Took a new chest X-ray
. Pneumonia has worsened fluid on the lung which has happened rapidly.
. Moved to 1D because of bed shortage.

. I went home and was called back as they were going to aspired
. Couldn't aspirate as it was all in pockets.

. Were told we needed to go to RCH as they would drain the fluid. He had Pleural Effusion)

. Went home packed and went back
. Arrived Brisbane 9pm
. Saw many doctors including Respiratory Specialist. (who said he believed Billy-Joe doesn't have asthma)
. We were finally taken to a ward at 3am
. Billy-Joe finally given string pain relief and he slept from then on and for much of the next day.

. Woke up he wasn't in too much pain. Looking forward to feeling better after surgery
. Saw loads of people. Doctors, med students, nurses, nursing students, Specialist, even a professor.
.Went into Theatre 12.30am

. I got to shower and even slept.

.Billy-Joe back from theatre 3.40pm

.He's comfortable. Another X-ray shows that fluid is reduced.

. He has a morphine pump. He's very comfortable and sleeping. He has a nasal gastric tube.

We will wait and see what tomorrow brings. He should start getting better now that the fluid is going. The drain is still in and will remain for another couple of days.

His concern for me and his appreciation for me being with him is so overwhelming for me. He has received so many compliments about his behaviour. I've been complimented on bringing up such a beautiful boy. I am so proud of him.

He is just the most amazing boy such a great patient too.

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Addendum

2011-03-13T21:07:00.001+10:00

Just some thoughts to add to today.

I've focussed on the happenings of today and the last week or so. Tonight, while having dinner I was able to speak my thoughts with Peter and he added some more and made us realize this isn't as isolated as I'd originally thought.

Readers of my blog may remember that we've been worried about him for some time. Nothing has improved and even though the pediatrician's appointment has taken ages to be organized I'm so glad it's this week.

He's 14, nearly 15 and eats like a bird. Mickey eats more than he does and is five years younger than Billy-Joe. At almost 15 he should be eating us out of house and home. He's small too, too small.

He's got a huge heart and he's tough but he's got no resilience. His body is bruised from one end to the other. Mind you he doesn't look that much better when he's not had a footy game. I've had bloods done before as I was concerned something more sinister was afoot.

I've always pushed for more assessment to be done from where his asthma is concerned. He's always chesty sounding with a permanent wet cough and yet his chest is always clear. He can't even laugh without his body being racked by a cough, laughter quickly dying.

I pray I'm reading too much into these symptoms. But I've put these thoughts on the back burners for long enough.

Thank you to my family and my friends for your well wishes and prayers. Billy-Joe feels very blessed to be surrounded by so much love. Thank you.

A Trip to Hospital

2011-03-13T14:03:00.001+10:00

I sit here on my bed, feeling a little numb, feeling sad, feeling grateful and strangely enough, with a strong sense of peace too.

At 7am, Billy-Joe woke me up to say he was having problems breathing. He had a heat pack and I new that his muscular problem from a week ago had come back. I laid back down, cursing the fact I'd allowed him to play football on Friday. I quickly reassessed the situation, flew out of bed, and, within five minutes had dressed and rung the ambulance. A part of me felt ridiculous for ringing, but for the most part, I knew it was my only option. I couldn't have moved him, he couldn't walk, he was chalky white, with a green tinge, and his lips were white, he was not well. I didn't think he was cyanosed, but felt it was not within my experience to be 100% sure.

The paramedics were quick. I'd woken Mickey who went and got Peter and then the ambos arrived. They took him to hospital, put him on oxygen and then a nebulizer even though I was sure it wasn't asthma, but it was a safeguard. I'd never ever seen him in so much pain. He was so good. Never flinched even when he was cannulated.

After a quick assessment, even a mobile chest x-ray, we knew he didn't have a collapsed lung, or pneumonia, which were my first thoughts.

After two morphine shots, his pain levels were tolerable, and then low enough for him to be comfortable. We remained in hospital for five hours, he was under constant observation and hooked up the whole time. He vomited and his temperature went up a bit too.

I'm not sure what this all means. To me, yes, there could be a pulled muscle, but then it's been good all week, and didn't hurt during or after his football game. He's bruised on all his limbs from the game, too bruised for my way of thinking, and for the pain to be so great that he can't take full breathes seems excessive to me. His appointment with the paediatrician is on Wednesday, finally.

He coped well, probably because I was calm and that helped him. Nothing soothes a child more than a Mum who's calm in a situation which much have been very scary for him.

Me, I coped alright too, even on the inside. It's now I don't feel so good. But I've always been like that, good in a crisis, not so good later on. I didn't pray at all while this was going on. I felt peace though, and still do. I knew Billy-Joe was in the good hands of the hospital staff and in the Good Lord's hands too. My role was to be there to comfort and hold..........

I didn't cry until I read something from Barbi's email, and after I'd spoken to my Mum.

He's sleeping and I'm enjoying the quiet and solitude in my room.

Not long after we arrived.

Much more comfortable.

I'm a very lucky girl

2011-03-07T20:37:00.001+10:00

Every now and again the flash of red takes me by surprise. I still get a little quiver of happiness inside me when I realize that the gorgeous car outside my house is mine.

Friday week ago things didn't look good. I didn't think the car was going to happen. With all the phone calls and faxing I wasn't really feeling too positive. Even when the loan was approved I was reluctant to get excited as I almost felt like something could still go wrong.

On Friday afternoon with three kids in tow and torrential rain, I went and picked up my new car.

I am one very lucky and extremely happy and grateful girl.

I've driven almost 200km already. The car handles like a dream and has the best added features. I've already used the voice recognition to make a call this is an awesome feature. I've already bought a double ended audio jack so I can plug in my iPhone and the music will play through the speakers. I also discovered a drawer under the front passenger seat.

When I went to get the car on Friday the salesman was really sweet and wanted me to see the car dry. He set up the Bluetooth with my phone which in all Apple wonderfulness took 1 second to do.

On the weekend I took every opportunity to drive. On Sunday I went for a drive down to the coast and I needed fuel but the petrol here in town was too dear. I pulled over beforehand so I could see which side my cap was on. Didn't want to look like a complete noob at the bowser lol. Added to that I didn't know how to open my petrol cap. Thank goodness for Google on my iPhone.

I'm enjoying zipping around everywhere. It is much nicer than driving my Camry. And the fuel cost me less than $40 too.

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Stressful Days

2011-03-01T17:14:00.001+10:00

I can't ever remember trying to get a loan as much as I have this week. It's like you get told 'yes you'll get the money no worries' when you give them figures and then when you supply the figures and the concrete information to back it up, it becomes close and iffy. In the last two days I've made about 25 phone calls a couple of trips to make faxes and I've received man calls. And the saddest part is that during this time our financial adviser has been largely absent through all this. We've decided to organize the finance ourselves and to avail ourselves of our redraw facility on our home loan.

I'm feeling absolutely mentally drained with all this. I've been told the loan has been approved but they are still requesting information. So, at the moment I'm in a kind of limbo. Not sure whether to get excited and feeling decidedly flat.

My day went like this ...........

After an hour of working on the site and my patience had left me, I rang Toyota Finance when I could wait no longer and, when I remembered they were an hour ahead.

He said 'oh yes, it's been approved as long as the paperwork measures up with the information you've provided '.

Oooookkkkaaaay, then why am I not excited yet.

I collect all my documents and then head into Daisys to fax them through and then I head to my dental appointment to collect my splint. I was no sooner home and I got a call asking for my Centrelink income on a different document so I printed that out and faxed it off. Then I get another call asking to change my estimate to show my true entitlement, then I went and faxed it again.

Meanwhile I'm trying to organize access to my redraw facility on the home loan. Because I want the money quickly and I don't have a fax machine, I organize to have it faxed to Daisys. I also have to set up a new bank account so the money can be deposited and i can access it ASAP .Unfortunately the fax machine ran out of ink so I couldn't get the papers.

I had to pick up the kids and then get some footy boots for Billy-Joe and I'd promised Mickey a new Zac Power book.

We got home and I rang Homeside again. They will fax the papers to my local NAB branch and I'll collect them tomorrow. We can then fax it back.

My Dad hasn't signed the Ford document yet so I'll drop that in to him tomorrow.

Soooooooo when we have the money I can pick up my new car.

I'm still not quite believing that it's all go. I also can't believe that I set it all up on my own without the financial guy.

Happy Much!!!!!!

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An interesting few days

2011-02-27T13:17:00.001+10:00

After seeing our financial adviser, and then putting a deposit on my lovely new car, we thought it was a done deal. I was already only half filling my Camry, in anticipation of my new set of wheels.

Friday afternoon, a phone call from our adviser, had it all crashing down around our ears. For some inexplicable reason, our bank won't use my Family Assistance as any form of income. Laughably, they wouldn't even loan us what we currently owe, as Peter's income, (which is now quite a bit more than it was even five years ago) and having three children, makes us eligible, for what's basically a pittance.

To add insult to injury, our track record with our repayments, the fact we're ahead and have money in a redraw facility has all added up to naught!! In the last 12 years, in addition to our home loans, we've furnished three car loans, which have ALL been paid out well before the final date.

Banks use a Poverty marker to ascertain what it costs a family to live per month, and they use that in their calculations for loan serviceability. Sadly, for us, this increased from $2000 per month, to $2900 per month, the DAY BEFORE we saw our adviser. This is quite ridiculous as Peter doesn't even bring home that much per month!! Where do they get that figure from I wonder. So as we've always known we're not well off, this is beyond poor!!

We are dumbfounded why they won't use my assistance as income, a figure which has always been counted before, from our initial home loan, to our two other re financing situations.

My mind has been whirring and churning, and my heart has been filled with prayer this week. I've oscillated between praying for those suffering in Christchurch to being thankful for my life, to asking for guidance with this loan matter. While I'm at peace, with whichever way this transpires, I haven't given up hope as yet. We still have options and it's not over till the fat lady sings.

It had been such an exciting week, and then Friday afternoon, the wind had been taken from my sails.

I've spent the weekend, quietly, with lots of much needed sleep, and my waking moments, have been spent putting figures through loan calculators and tossing up our ideas.

My week has been so exciting, and I've not been sleeping well for ages.........that I'd hit a wall by Friday and again yesterday. It was the first Saturday yesterday, where I'd had nothing on, so the day was very leisurely. Billy-Joe had been ill on Friday, so he laid down with me yesterday, and we both snoozed together for a few hours.

I feel better for it today.

In between all the car stuff of last week, I finally had my specialist visit. I'm very grateful that, for the first time with all this pain, that someone is monitoring it and can see that I'm not doing well. I got my MRI result and it showed that I have bursitis in my shoulder and also that there is something torn. No wonder, it was almost two years of pain.

I've been 8 months now on my new medication, with little improvement. On Wednesday, I was given a new drug, which hopefully will help me. My inflammation markers are so high, that if this new medication doesn't help, I would qualify for another class of drugs. It would be in the form of an injection. So there are still options ahead, which gives me peace of mind. I am thankful for my specialist, and I no longer feel 'hypochondriac like'. This is all thanks to my physiotherapist, who saw that there was obviously something systemically wrong with me.

Wonder what next week brings!

Another Busy Day

2011-02-23T17:43:00.001+10:00

I'm looking forward to a full day at home tomorrow and Friday, the last few weeks have been so very busy. I enjoy being busy, but love and look forward to the down times.

This morning I did my washing and my ironing. I also chose my week's menus and did the groceries online, so they can be delivered tomorrow.

I have been out more than I'd normally like, so I was happy to get this done. I'm on schedule now for the week, when I complete more housework tomorrow. I did some Daisy work, although got frustrated yet again with my lack of knowledge, which of course means my lack of control over how the site looks. I don't like how it looks and have ideas for improving it, but don't have the knowledge. So then I went on to working on the things I can change so as not to waste precious time.

I was excited this morning when the car salesman rang and told me they could find a red car. It's only the second time in my life, I've been able to choose the colour of my car and I'm so very very excited. Because I love colour, actually settling on one is quite difficult. I'd never choose a white car by myself, but the white in the Fiestas is stunning, very crisp and clean looking, but these were sold out. The green was my second choice with a deep mulberry being my third choice. I do like the fact that none of the colours incurred extra charges. What did intrigue me, however, was the amount of 'McDonalds' style of salesmanship. You know what I mean, instead of saying, would you like fries with that? It's, would you like, external paint treatment, interior fabric treatment, tinted windows treatment, tyre and rim insurance, extra 4 years warranty insurance, insurance shortfall insurance........My mind was whirring. I only went there to sign some papers and pay a (large) deposit and then had to sit through the obligatory spiel.... I'd organized my time so I could fix that up, then have a coffee and then go on to my Rheumatologist appointment, but I had to skip the coffee and settled for a cold drink five minutes before my appointment instead....and, as it was I had to call the palaver short so I could make my appointment. Mind you, the idea of having my paint protected is appealing, especially as I've chosen red!! That with the window tinting is over $800 - a lot of money, but this car is a huge amount of money, not sure what to do there........ I've done a little look around what's available and the price they quoted me is a fair one.

My appointment with my specialist went well. Thankfully I can go onto some new medication, as my inflammatory levels have risen and my pain levels even more. For a while I have to be on both meds though, so from a financial standpoint that's not good, but I need the relief, so of course will try it.

Can't wait to drive my new metal baby around, it's just gorgeous.

An exciting time

2011-02-22T13:19:00.001+10:00

It's been a busy and happy few weeks. The term is going by at a steady rate, and it still feels great having the kids back at school. I definitely have more time to myself when they are at school than when they are home. I do enjoy my freedom to be able to do as I please too, fitting in work where I like to and doing housework and still having time for myself.

Last week, I finished my E Commerce course. It was a good day, I wish it could have had more hands on, time together stuff. While the external work is a good idea, I think for things like this that have such a practical application more time together would have been beneficial. So much I just couldn't do. I'm still tossing up whether or not to do the Dreamweaver course, or even whether just to buy the program and have a go myself. If it were just an information site with a few interactive aspects for joining the newsletter and such, I would definitely have a go at creating a new one, but as it has the shopping cart with it, it adds a whole new dimension to the site. It's not a basic site. I know I could learn how to do it, but am not sure the best way to go about it. Like I've said before, I don't want to do another uni degree and I think the short course, is too short. I'll have to think on that one some more. I had totally discounted the idea, but it's reasserted itself, so I'm not done with the thought yet.

Yesterday I went and test drove some more cars. Dad came with me which was great. We managed to get the car down to the price we were prepared to pay, but not with Dad's ex employee discount, but with the reasonable trade in they have offered us for the Camry. We then went to another Ford dealer and we were given the same info on the Ford Fiesta there, although we didn't get to the point of having the Camry valued again. The dealership is under an umbrella with other car yards and the Kia yard was adjacent. Not wanting to discount any cars, we test drove the Kia Sports as well. It looked fabulous from the outside, alloy wheels, ABS and EBD brakes (which are standard in the Fiesta) large rear spoiler and a pretty snazzy looking front grille. However the inside of the car, and its drivability let it down. The inside was rather spartan looking to the point of being old fashioned. I found driving it difficult and was quite erratic with it. I found it harder to get the 'feel' of the car, and it was rather noisy too, which is something I hate with the Camry. I hate road noise and the sound that always makes me think a car window is open. The Fiesta was very very quiet, and smooth to drive. However, as it's a German design, the indicator on the left will take a bit to get used to. About half the corners I turned were signalled with the wipers flapping instead. Dad and I were disappointed with the Discount that Ford offered us on the basis of Dad being an ex employee. The car is a new model in all aspects, with all the latest December additions, but has a 2010 compliance plate, but this already reduces the car by $3000.

Peter and I talked about selling the Camry privately as he always maintains you always get more money selling it privately. I agree with this, but quite frankly don't want the hassle of doing this. Like all the admin aspects of our lives, this job would fall to me and as we know the Camry needs some work, and a RWC isn't free......I'd hate to think how much we'd actually have to spend on it. Thankfully Peter came around to my way of thinking and has agreed that trading in the Camry is a good idea.

Our Financial Adviser came today, and has given us the green light to go ahead as we'll have no dramas getting the funds for the car. Peter was relieved beyond belief, when he was told our repayments wouldn't increase!!!! It shows that once again he'd not listened to me, when I increased our repayments and explained that these would cover any extra money we borrowed.... I even suggested well if you were expecting our repayments to go up, perhaps we can buy a better car lol......

Anyway, the car yard is ringing back and I'm getting antsy. I expected them to ring back by late morning and it's now early afternoon. My heart is still going quickly and I'm positive my blood pressure is elevated. I'm so excited. This is my first new car in 25 years........and no one is going to take it away from me this time!!! It's been a long time since my ex husband pulled a shifty on me and left the country, leaving me a car he'd promised to pay for. I was at Uni at the time, and had no possible way of paying the loan off, so my car was returned, and I was left with the debt anyway!! I won't go into details, it's ancient history now, but is what hurts me the most about the fact that marriage broke up. This new car will be so much more special. Actually if I go back in my life, my only other new car I'd ever owned, I had to leave when that marriage dissolved..........mmmmmm....something about my husbands and new cars!! Thankfully this husband and I are together forever, so my car will stay with me too.

I'm often asked why we've settled for a small car, as we have 3 boys and it seems silly to buy something so tiny. Well the reasons are many, not that I have to justify myself to anyone other than myself and my husband, but these are the reasons I came up with.
- I do lots of driving, all in suburbia and in town
- When we drive to Brisbane or the Gold Coast, the car will be fine
- It's a perfect car for teaching the boys to drive in
- I will feel more confident in it, and am excited to finally parallel park (something I've only every done once since I've got my license!!!)
- When we go away as a family, we go in the ute. There's plenty of room for us all, and as the car is older, it doesn't matter if the kids get in it wet, and we can take everything with us.
- I'm tired of having used cars which cost heaps to maintain, and cost heaps to put petrol into
- The Camry is 14 years old, getting tired and is in need of some major works

Can't wait!! Will post a pic when it arrives. Although, having said that, a part of me wonders whether I should check out more used but fairly new cars.....mmmm......I'm off to google!!

Test drove another car today

2011-02-11T16:19:00.001+10:00

Another good day today. I went to Sammy and Mickey's school assembly, and I was there for quite a while. Sammy's class presented an item, and it was quite pertinent. The presentation was based on the fact, that, even though we've had these disasters of late, floods, cyclones and bushfires, and the tragic loss of lives, there are many things to be thankful of. We can't take away from the severity or the sadness that these have created, but we can thank God, for the miracles that still take place. It was good for the kids to do something like that, and, I think the message would have brought comfort to some of the parents there too. Sammy often says to me, there are no miracles anymore, but there are miracles around us all the time. A seed growing, a flower budding and a child being born. One doesn't have to look to far to see miracles around us everyday.

After the assembly I zoomed home as I was very thirsty, and then I thought I'd better get some fuel before it goes up for the weekend. I was unable to release my fuel cap. I have a latch beside my seat and it wasn't opening the cap. So, I headed down to my mechanic, who glued something, and left my cap open so I could go and get fuel. I was well and truly on empty by this stage. I filled up and came home. I baked some choc chip cookies for a morning tea tomorrow and did some chores and then headed out to Nissan to test drive the new Micra, pictured above. I think these look very cool on the road, and they're marketed as a 'girl's car'. They've got all the latest bells and whistles and are very reasonably priced. I test drove the 1.2L which was interesting as I've never driven a three cylinder car before. I was impressed..... It's got a lot more oompf than my (nanna) camry!!! Even though I'm going to test all these cars, I'm pretty sure we'll go for a Ford, but I need something to compare cars against. The guy at the dealership, was young and very helpful and told me heaps about the car. He explained all the safety features, which I was impressed with. I also looked but didn't drive the Tiida, it's a great little car. The Micra was surprisingly roomy,I was very much surprised. My boys could easily fit in the car, without their knees under their chin. The guy said he sold a Micra to a lady with three kids just the other day.

I'm off to shower shortly and head out for another night at Daisy's.

A good day

2011-02-10T17:58:00.001+10:00

Another layout for my Christmas 2009 Album (I'm such a goombah, my middle son, just saw this on my iMac and said 'Mummy, you've made a mistake, this wasn't 2009 it was 2010', what was I thinking of, I'm supposed to be working on old photos......grrrr)

It's been a good week. Yesterday I headed to Brisbane again to spend the day with Barbi, Holly and Jas. We went back to Ikea, to pick up the rest of my chair, I ended up getting the white seat. Jas' eyes were wide as we walked around the store. I bought a few more bits and pieces, it's not an easy place to walk through without buying anything. I got some tea towels, they're cheap and were worth trying, some plastic cups, a mattress protector.

Then we drove to Nathan Campus to organize Holl's ID. We then dropped the girls off at QPAC as they were booked in to see 'Wicked'. We then had quite a few hours on our own. We headed to Koorong and browsed around the books, and bought some too of course. Afterwards we headed to Maccy D's and availed ourselves of their free (lousy) wifi. We got some work done, but the connection was so slow, and we had to resort to taking notes on paper - can you believe that?? We enjoyed a late lunch, and left there around 5.30pm to pick up the girls after they'd shopped in the mall after the show. We didn't get home until nearly 8pm as the traffic was heavy and we got lost.......I wonder how many cities there are in the world that consist of one way streets?? It's a nightmare of a place to navigate. I would have to go there so regulary as to actually become familiar with the place. The one way roads do my head in. Barbi does so well, even though she's not 100% familiar with the city, she's great, and even if she makes an error she can so easily fix it. I am happy to say though, that I could find my own way to Ikea lol........

I had a nice evening catching up with Peter and then I headed to bed fairly late. I actually slept well, which was just bliss. Of late I've been waking and finding it really hard to go back to sleep. My eternal problem which has always been fixed with medication, and I think that because my GP is weaning me off my HRT, this is causing sleep disturbances. On another medication front, my arthritis has been really bad for the last couple of months. My fingers are so sore, I'm struggling to do lots of 'normal' things. I've been on my arthritis medication for 7 months now, and I'm not sure if they're helping that much. I've been waiting for ages to go and see my specialist, and I'm not booked in until the end of the month. Hope we can do something.....I'm even finding it hard getting my rings over the knuckles, massaging the kids or Peter, grabbing something in one hand without the support of the other, even something as light as large envelope of papers. I'm always frightened when Peter grabs my hand that he'll squeeze my fingers together like he often does, although he's getting used to not doing it.

This morning I headed into the shops and bought my out of stock Coles items, well some anyway, as I couldn't get fresh coriander at Woolies either. I tried to put my chair together, but didn't have the strength in my hands so Bunny did it later for me. I'm glad I got the white one, it looks good, and works well with my iMac and my white desk, even though it's in my lounge which is predominantly red. I had to catch up on my washing, seeing as I wasn't home yesterday. My groceries arrived and I put them away. I did quite a bit of the work which Barbi and I had talked about yesterday, so I was pleased with that. In the afternoon, I completed the second page of my album. I also set up DropBox, which is a cloud app which can sync documents between my computers and devices. A great way of having important things on all devices. Nothing more frustrating than having to email oneself important data.

Mickey cooked this afternoon, he's made little quiches. We made them in muffin pans using puff pastry. He's surprisingly quite comfortable in the kitchen, he's a good listener and an excellent follower of instructions and when I've shown him something. Thank God, as Sammy is hard work to show something, because even at 11 he knows everything, and won't stop and let me finish showing him. Plus he's awkward around food preparation. I thought Mickey would be the same as I figured it was an age thing.

We're having a Roast pumpkin and feta salad, with spinach, barley and chicken. It should be yummy. I bought a Super Food Ideas magazine this week, and it's my adaptation of a recipe in there.

Take 3

2011-02-08T17:14:00.000+10:00

This is my second attempt at blogging today. I'd done an entire post earlier, via Picasa and it had a conniption. I wasn't impressed, because there's no back button so I couldn't even go back to copy and paste.........hence the post title.

Actually 24 hours have gone by, best laid plans and all.......

Actually it's now Take 3, because of the time that has elapsed, I needed to create another post ......

It's been great with the kids at school. I must say I'm enjoying having my days back to myself. I seem to get more things done, and am able to spend some time doing things for myself which is nice. Although, having said that, with the heat, I've been doing the minimum. The weather last week was so humid, I found it hard to do anything other than my chores. I'd made such a good start with doing things, and last week fell in a heap, so I thought all my motivation was back in the dumps where it was. Yesterday a cool change came through, and, even though I've not been sleeping properly, I was awake at 5am, up at 6am and managed to do heaps of different things yesterday. I don't mind napping on a Sunday or on a Friday afternoon before scrapbooking, but in the last 2 weeks, I've been having a snooze every afternoon. I now realize, it was the heat just sapping the energy out of me.

I've got things I want to finish, one of them being my Christmas 2009 album. I've opted for digital, so above is my first page. I've half done my second page today. I had a fair bit of spare time today, but I ended up with a slight change of plans. I dropped into Daisys to collect some work, and I stopped and chatted to some girlfriends, which was lovely. I could have stayed and chatted more, but Cath rang and was dropping in with some things she wanted to give the boys. She stayed two and a half hours which was so good, just to chat and catch up.

Rusty, was castrated today. I picked him up from the vet's after I picked up the boys from school. He's fairly active for someone who's had surgery. I missed him today, he's such good company and it didn't seem the same without Rusty sitting on the Time Capsule while I work.

Tomorrow I'm off to Brisbane again with Barbi. Holly is going to see 'Wicked' with her girlfriend and Barbi and I will camp somewhere, preferably with wi fi and good coffee!!!

Digi Layout

2011-02-07T17:20:00.001+10:00

Two out of three

2011-01-25T14:05:00.003+10:00

The kids are back at school today, well two are anyway. It has been nice having a quieter day, I do enjoy my time to myself, although I don't miss the getting ready in the mornings.

Thank God I got up early, had a quiet moment to myself, and then got started with the day. I'm pleased I was ready and in the car early as my car wouldn't start, so Bunny had to come and jump start me. Luckily the car was booked in for a service today, so it will have gotten a new battery.

When we finally got to school Billy-Joe got the kids organized in their rooms while I queued up to organize some new uniforms. Mickey has grown so much, and filled out that he looked absolutely ridiculous in his clothes. I had some larger sized ones, so that was good for today. The queue for the uniform shop was long and it was so hot in the room with no ventilation. The guy at the mechanics brought Billy-Joe and I home.

I did my ironing and finished the invoices for Barbi. I am so pleased that's finished. Two years of invoices from a busy retail store, is quite a lot of papers!!! Once again I handled a snake. I'm pretty sure it was a tree snake, but quite an aggressive one. Billy-Joe wouldn't even come out and take a photo of me holding it. He's absolutely petrified. It was quite a pretty snake, although not at all happy that Izzy was trying to hit him on the head with her paw. I'm sure she thinks it's a play thing. I don't think she caught it, I think it was just on the verandah, at one point it had half it's body inside the door, Billy-Joe really panicked then lol......

Billy-Joe and I then made melting moments, although I was disappointed with them as they're quite flat. I should have stuck to my tried and true recipe. I'm sure they'll all get eaten though.

Dinner is simple, spicy mango chicken with a potato salad. I don't feel like being in the kitchen for ages today as it's quite hot.

Tomorrow is Australia Day. Mum and Dad are coming around to celebrate. We'll have chicken skewers, sausages, pork spare ribs salads, and a home made pavlova for dessert. With a bit of wine thrown in too!!

This was the photo for today's Project 365!! It was supposed to be of the kids' first day of school, but we weren't in the same place all together at school, so it didn't happen.....lucky, the kitties are always there to photograph.

To be successful I need to eat frogs.

2011-01-22T16:11:00.001+10:00

Last night I bought a Kindle book called 'Eat that Frog' by Brian Tracy. Apparently it's a list maker's book, Alaine recommended it to me. It based on the premise that in order to be successful in life you need to eat the frogs first. This was based on something that Mark Twain said. If you eat a frog first thing in the morning the day can only get better. For us the frog I'd doing the task we dislike the most but will give us the best sense of achievement.

I started reading it this afternoon and am enjoying it. It works in really well with my one little word project for this year. This book is part of my journey for me to focus my energies not only to become more productive but to be better at what I currently do.

The bizarre thing is that while I find I can easily pinpoint my goals from a personal standpoint I am unable to figure out what I want to do work wise. In a nutshell I don't want to go out to work anymore. U enjoy working from home And organizing my life around what I do. On the other hand if I had something that was two days a week work, good money and I had school holidays. These jobs are rare. Oh that's right I have a job like that. I'm a teacher. But as with all jobs there are positives and negatives. The positives are, great money, I get to work with good people, I learn new skills. The negatives are I get rung up on e day I'm needed, and I may not be rung for weeks at a time, and yet I could lay money on the fact that the one day I've planned to go out or have a friend for lunch or a doctor's appointment is the day I get a call. Without fail!!!!! I also feel like I'm running on a facade of confidence as it's that which gets me through. I'm not experienced enough and certainly not experienced in special ed the area where I last worked and yet while I'm trusted I think it's more my age and attitude that makes the other staff members believe I'm quite capable. Basically I feel like I'm a fraud. I could study some more, but I don't have it in me anymore to do anymore uni study.

I enjoy variety in work, and I like being in charge of what and how I do things. That was great with teaching as there was no one over my shoulder telling me how to work. I've considered doing a course in Dreamweaver to build a new site for Daisys.

I love being a mother and a wife. That is my job and the only one I've had for this long. I enjoy making a home and taking care of my boys. And I know they appreciate what I do. I have job satisfaction galore. But the pay is crappy. I want mo money,but it's obviously not a strong enough motivator to get me into a 'proper job '.

I don't miss teaching at all. I was born in the wrong era for teaching. The entire system would need an overhaul before I considered teaching again. I can't cope with feral kids and the disrespect they bring. I don't want anything to do with that echelon of society. A terribly unchristian attitude from me I know but I'm interested in helping people who want help. Not someone who is going to fight me every step of the way.

My expectations are probably too high although it's a sad reflection on society if common courtesy, respect of your fellow man and manners are having too high an expectation. Tragic indeed. What needs to happen before things will change. How long before we acknowledge that the free reign approach to raising kids simply isn't working. Possibly something I'll never see.

It's hard to decide what to do when I haven't the faintest idea. How can I map out a plan when I know not my destination?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Ali Edward's One Little Word

2011-01-16T18:59:00.001+10:00

I'm so glad I started this class. It's going to be a great journey. Thanks to Amy on the OLW Forum at www.bigpicturescrapbooking.com who posted a link to a template that I could use. It made it so much easier.

I decided to do this project digitally. I have so many beautiful digital elements, it's unnecessary to buy anything to complete it. I'm really pleased I have a couple of friends doing this class too.

A good day

2011-01-13T18:02:00.001+10:00

It's been a busy day today but one I've thoroughly enjoyed. The kids began a three day golf clinic today and I thoroughly enjoyed my three and a half hours of relative peace.

While I waited for my groceries to arrive I tagged some photos on iPhoto. I've caught up now. After I put the groceries away I headed into town as I needed a few things. Because the shopping centre carpark was flooded in on Monday the part that is already clean wasn't enough for the number of people who ventured out today. I had to park away from the centre but enjoyed walking with the sunlight on my face and the warm breeze in my hair. It was a lovely day today. So awesome to see the sun and yet it made it even more difficult to comprehend what is going on an hour down the road.

I needed new tea towels and hand towels so I got those. Mickey needs a new belt for his golf shorts. Because Rusty guzzled my water every night I've been taking a water bottle to bed with me. I've been using the kid' water bottles and I prefer my own. Watching kids drink and seeing the backwash makes me cringe every time I drink out of one of their bottles lol. I bought a Brita bottle with a filter. My Mum and Dad bought me a large Brita tank to keep in the fridge and I love the water so bought the same principle in a bottle.

In no time it was time to pick up the kids and I've pretty much been in the kitchen ever since. Sammy asked yesterday if I'd make blueberry muffins so today I bought fresh blueberries. The muffins are yummy but I will continue to look for a recipe that makes them in the same texture as those you find in the stores. That fine but quite gooey texture is just divine in a muffin. I didn't manage to replicate what I wanted but they're yummy.

As we started the Kikki K chore chart last week one of the tasks is that the kids have to cook their own dinner every Thursday night. They cooked. (wait for it) Spaghetti Bolognaise. Their favourite meal and they ate copious amounts. They cooked half the pasta that I normllally cook but the same amount of meat and they devoured the lot.

My goal is that I want them to have this important skill. One day they'll have dates and wives too and I want them to be complete with all the skills any woman wants of her man. Plus, they'll be able to look after themselves too. It will also give them an application for what is involved. Eve today Billy-Joe said, "no wonder you sweat so much when you cook, this is hot work". he and Sammy cooked dinner using the Thermomix. Billy-Joe already told me that he needs a Thermomix before he needs a car!!!!!! Even Sammy is impressed with how much it can do.

I've made a Lamb Pide for us. I minced my own lamb and ground and made up my own Turkish Spice Mix. Hope it's yummy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Queensland Floods

2011-01-11T17:10:00.001+10:00

I've been thinking about this post for the last few days, and honestly I don't know what to say, but I can't let this go without mention either.

Before Christmas and just after, we were concerned about Ricky and Dee and their critters. They left the coast on Christmas Day as they were aware the rivers were rising, and that if they dallied, they may well have been unable to get home. Thankfully they made it home safely, but were on high alert until last week when they were given the okay, as the river nearby was going down. Sadly, though, many others didn't fare so well. Rockhampton, and then this week, Maryborough and Gympie have copped it. So many people have lost their belongings and homes.

But that wasn't the worst of it. When I watched the footage on the TV last night, it was like seeing the Tsunami footage from Phuket a few years ago. Water running through the main street of Toowoomba. The water picking up cars, as though they're just flotsam and jetsam. Unbelievable. I watched some more footage on YouTube today.

Our country is certainly one of extremes, if it's not burning or bone dry, it's copping water. I've lived here for 21 years and haven't seen rain like this before. Our town has copped 20 inches of rain already this year. Wonder if they'll continue building the pipe with which they plan to send our water to Brisbane in???

Brisbane is currently a disaster zone. People are being evacuated and are unable to leave to come home if they live here on the coast. The show grounds are an evac zone.

I take my hat off too the Qld Police, SES and Road workers, who are risking their lives to help others in trouble. It does shit me no end, however, the number of idiots that attempt to cross flooded roads, even after they've been advised not to.

I won't post pictures, you'd have to be living under a rock not to know what's been going on.

We are relatively safe. Peter came home early from work, while he could still get over the soon to be flooded bridge. We've had water in downstairs, but honestly, it's not even worth worrying about when you know what others are going through. We'll throw out some stuff............that's all.

I pray for comfort for those who have lost loved ones. I pray for comfort and shelter for those who have lost their belongings and or their homes. I pray that people will find their missing family members.

Slack reviewer

2011-01-05T19:28:00.003+10:00

I don't review all my books, and, for the most part, I'm a slack reviewer who struggles to put my thoughts into a coherent review. I decided they should go onto my blog though. Here's the latest book I finished by a new release from one of my favourite authors.

The Reversal by Michael Connelly
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

We're going to Melbourne

2011-01-05T15:44:00.001+10:00

I'm so glad my blog is called what it's called as my style of recording my thoughts and happenings has never changed. It also means my blog is often not even chronological. Sometimes it's because I've maybe already posted something and sometimes it's because I don't get around to doing it, or other thoughts and ideas come to me. My blog is a reflection of me, always thinking, but with no order..........

I've been wanting to go back down south for a few years no. Hard to believe it's almost six years since I went down the one and only time since I've lived in Qld, and I've always wanted to go back and to stay longer. Laureen has asked me many times to visit and I've never gotten around to it. Now I've just bitten the bullet. When I saw that the Tutankhamen Exhibition in Melbourne was announced, it didn't take me long to decide that I wanted to go and take Sammy. I can combine that with going to visit Laureen and my Aunt and Uncle and spend time in Victoria, where I've left a piece of my heart. I'm quite excited about it. Going in the winter time doesn't bother me, I have boots, jackets, warm clothing, which never get much wear here, I'll need to buy Sammy a jacket as he feels the cold terribly. I'm hoping that Laureen's house will be warm, I'll be okay going out and about, it's inside I'm worried about. I'll have to make sure I take my woolly slippers and warm trackie daks!!! Sammy wants to go to Sovereign Hill again, I'll think about it. I may even hire a car and drive to Geelong, I'd love to be able to drive around on my own, take photos and just soak up the atmosphere. The photo above is Sammy when he received his card in which I wrote that he was going to the exhibition and that we were going together! He is very excited too.

The New Year, is a time to reflect and then refocus on the possibilities ahead.

There are many things I want to focus on, mostly the same as last year, although I have more clarity this year. I am still not sure where my work efforts will take me. Even doing this course, I've learned much, but perhaps, even more I've learned there's much I still don't know. Doing an e course has been good, but I've really missed the interaction with others doing the same course. Often I have questions or ideas and then no one to bounce them off. As I don't have control over the business, I can't make decisions (and rightfully so of course) and I will mention things to Barbi, which then become lost in the past, never actioned, or even discussed fully. My memory being akin to a sieve, I don't even have the recall to consider those items at a later date, as the idea or thought is gone......for good. As far as the Daisy's site is concerned we are going to have a planning meeting and structure things into a better format. I need structure, and routine, that way things are done too, and not just talked about. I need support and feedback from the store, so I can do my part of the job properly. The downside to not being at the 'coalface' is that many things happen or arrive and I am never informed of them, therefore the site or Facebook isn't updated as often or as promptly as it could be. If there was a procedure in place, whereby I was contacted, then these things would make it onto the web, much more quickly. I am considering doing a short course in Dreamweaver, so I can build a new site for us. I have thought long and hard, and as I don't consider myself a designer, I don't want to work for others building a site. I believe my skills lie in the area of analysis, and that's where I need to broaden my knowledge too. For us though, having knowledge in Dreamweaver, gives me the ability to make changes and for our site to be controlled the way we want it. I don't want to be locked into templates and so forth. I have much to learn on the analysis side of things too, and am not sure how I'm going to further develop that knowledge. Basically the course has given me great insight into the possibilities, as opposed to teaching me how to do them. Does that make sense?

I do need to earn more money though, I can't survive on the little income I have at the moment. I've got less money now than I've had years ago. Thank goodness I'm not paying off a loan or anything, as I couldn't furnish it. I stopped my audiobook membership as it was a luxury I can live without. I work for my card making items. If I buy something I have to have the money for it. Credit cards are of no use to me at the moment, as I don't have the funds to pay it back. It's a shame I'm so fussy with what I want to do. It's still a huge priority for me to be here for my kids. No more paying After School Care etc. That's not worth it, unless I'm earning really really good money, like when I was teaching. Do I miss teaching? No! Would I like to teach something? I love teaching. I will always love passing on my knowledge. I love teaching my Camera Class, and I love teaching my Copic Class. The key is to teach to willing students for me. Teaching at the Special School was great, and I enjoyed it very much. I just can't do the unpredictability anymore. It's a shame, but it doesn't suit my personality type. I still love working from home. This is an area I will keep working on and thinking and praying about. I know many women don't have the luxury of doing something they like, and having it suit everyone, and earning good money. Perhaps I am wishing for too much. I'm honest, I am not prepared to work nights or weekends! I've done that, when I was younger, not going there now. I want to earn okay money, it doesn't need to be what I earned at teaching, I know that was a rarity, but it wasn't predictable either, I couldn't depend on it.

On a creative side of my life, I'm still content not scrapbooking layouts anymore and I'm happy to continue to improve my use of colouring, I don't want that to be come onerous though. I think as a method of recording my life, my blog is integral and I will make photo books, and include digital layouts in those as well as journalling and photographs. I'm not going to beat myself up about it anymore. It's been 12 months since my last layout, and I can honestly say I've not missed doing them. Plus I can't afford to do it anymore anyway. My cards are practical and I can add slowly to my Copic collection plus the items I buy for my cards are not expensive. I'm saving space at home and am enjoying what I do. My scrapbooking has always been about my photos and my stories, and that will remain so.

On the mental, emotional and spiritual side of my life, I have goals too. I reaffirmed my faith in 2000. I attended church for a few years and loved it. When the Church basically fell apart and deeply hurt my best friend, I left too!! Once again the reasons for my earlier reluctance for attending church had proven themselves to be very real and valid. I didn't want to belong with a group of people who purported to be Christians and whose behaviour was anything but Christian!!! It had become my experience that there were more hypocrites inside a church than inside it. That's not the kind of faith I wanted to grow with. I was hurt and confused, as the place which had taught me new things and brought me closer to God, had showed its true colours. Barbi stayed away for quite a few years, and attended another church, one I could never grow an attachment toward, even though I went a couple of times. I'd always felt such a sense of 'homecoming' with the other church and that feeling couldn't be replicated just anywhere.

In the intervening years, I've kept my faith, but have had no growth in that area. I still maintain a high level of scepticism in many areas of faith and I honestly don't know if that will ever change, but I am willing to take that path again. This year for my birthday Barbi, bought me a beautiful Devotional Book. I love it. A few years ago, I'd worked through the devotional readings in my Bible, and loved them, but didn't really work through it in the way I've started with this new one. I've started a journal and I will document my journey. I won't publish it here, not in its entirety, sometimes maybe just snippets, I'm not sure yet. Barbi bought me a few years ago a beautiful Bible, 'The Message' as she knows I struggle dreadfully with reading the Bible. Quite frankly I find most of it gobbeldybook and the rest of it beautiful........I want to understand more.

Last Sunday, I went back to the Church. There's a new pastor and it's a little different, some of the things I loved have gone, but times change and I won't dwell on that. Now is all that matters. I enjoyed the service. Billy-Joe came with me which was very special and I think he will come with me more often.

I've still got much to think about, but life is good and I feel good and we're all happy.

1.1.11

2011-01-01T15:04:00.001+10:00

Happy New Year Blog! What does the new year mean for you? Would be nice if I posted more frequently and added more photos and more of the things I create. I'm often so excited just to actually create, and then I forget to photograph it and place it onto my blog. I should do that, because sometimes I actually inspire myself and I'm happy with my cards or efforts. I get so much inspiration from others' work when I read blogs, and yet often I feel quite overwhelmed with the quality of what's out there, that it intimidates me to the point of inadequacy, which is really ridiculous, because I've never ever created for kudos or praise. I've always made things, ever since I was a kid, and I've never been concerned that my items weren't as good as someone elses, simply because the mere act of creating brought me joy. There's nothing like the relaxed and therapeutic feelings one derives simply from making something. I can receive that joy from crocheting, knitting, card making, using my Copics, teaching someone, taking photographs, editing pictures, digi scrapbooking, writing and even cooking. I like the feeling of making something from supplies or ingredients and I enjoy the completed task, whether I keep it myself, or give it away. My Mum has always appreciated my efforts, so I enjoy giving her something I've made.

Last night, for New Year's Eve, I went to Daisy's. I spent the night with Barbi and Lisa Hayes showed up unexpectedly as well as Lisa W and a friend of hers. Lisa Hayes' friends and family couldn't make their arranged festivities, so she brought her food with her and we all enjoyed a lovely dinner of roast chicken potato salad and scrumptious dips. I also ate some of her fruit cake which was very nice too. I coloured in some images, and had a ball. I only did three images, but just loved how I felt while I was doing it. That's what I'll focus on - just how it makes me feel. The end product isn't really that important, it's the pleasure that it brings me, and then again the pleasure when I am able to give someone something I've made. The birthday card I gave Sammy the other day, was one of my early copic attempts and he just said straight away, 'I love the cards you make'.....Sammy isn't quick with compliments or praise, so this really meant a lot.

I sit here and I am happy. Just peacefully and completely happy. How does one put a value on that? I have no money in my wallet, I have no savings, but I am happy. Happy with my life, my children and a wonderful husband who has helped create this environment we live in. We've had a couple of really nice mornings together, holidays are such wonderful times to reconnect as a couple. I loved the look on his face as I entered his room at 5.30am yesterday morning. Just precious. And again this morning, when I rang him and asked him to come into mine..........sweet mornings of love, talking and just enjoying being us without the pressures of children or work or deadlines or work, or work.......!! Just blissful.

This morning, ahem I should say after midday, after I'd showered and had breakfast on the back verandah, we cleaned and tidied up. The Christmas tree is put away, as well as most of the other decorations. I've left the Adventkranz up and have also left the 'stick' up with the baubles over the dining table as it's quite pretty and doesn't take up any useful space.

Early Gifts

2010-12-21T17:23:00.001+10:00

I've got some gorgeous gifts from my girlfriends for this Christmas. Barbi gave me a gorgeous diary I can use for web/work stuff, it's got a gorgeous lime green cover with lots of info and recipes inside. Karen, gave me a beautiful glass ornament which is hanging where I often hang the mistletoe. It's beautiful, and very special. She also gave me a set of measuring spoons to match my Matryoscka measuring cups she gave me last year. Just gorgeous. For my birthday she gave me a sweet zippered case, which I could put makeup in, and an apple stamp from Kikki K. I will take a photo of my apple collection which Karen started for me. Does three things, count as a collection lol????

I dropped in to Daisy's today, as Suzy is finishing today and going away to Mackay for Christmas with her family. She gave me a beautiful red diary, which is so classy, the cover looks like embossed red leather, it's stunning. She also gave me a Womens' Weekly Christmas cookbook. It's a hardback book and I can't wait to sit down after dinner and peruse this book. The diary, is beautiful, I've never seen one like it before.

I'm feeling very spoiled and it's not even Christmas yet!!

I will have to take photos.....just wanted to write down my thoughts. I'm a very lucky girl with lovely and thoughtful best friends. It's so cool when you get bought stuff that you know has been chosen for you by people who know you very well.....

I am indeed blessed.

Update

2010-12-20T17:28:00.001+10:00

All's good in our home at the moment. Christmas Eve is looming, only 4 more sleeps!!

My health has been good, I've had no more funny heart flutter things, the doctor is pretty sure they're not panic attacks, so, for that I'm grateful, I had an ECG last week and it showed that all is normal.

The weekend was a full and fun one. Friday night was great fun @ Daisy's, with only a handful of us, it was a special evening. I managed, on Friday afternoon to dash into the Plaza and get almost all of what I need, including some new shorts and a top for me. At least now I have two pairs I can wear in public lol..... Friday night was a late one, it poured nearly all night. We'd had about 5 inches of rain for the entire weekend, so so wet. The dryer has been working overtime.

On Saturday I pottered around at home, trying to catch up on washing and chores. In the afternoon we headed off down the road, to have Christmas drinks with some of our neighbours. We had a fun evening, with good conversation and wine. It teemed rain the entire afternoon, but the kids made the most of their fantastic pool. It wasn't cold, just very wet. The kids and I came home around 8pm and Bunny came home around 10pm. We were all fast asleep when he ventured home, the kids exhausted from their huge afternoon in the pool and me because of the very late night before.

Yesterday morning, was a late start.....it was still raining. Bunny and I had a lie in together and enjoyed a very late breakfast. I cleaned up the kitchen and then did the shelving in the kitchen, and the glassware I have on display. By the time I'd finished it was almost time to get dressed to head down to the Church of Christ for carols. It was a very nice afternoon, I loved it. Billy-Joe came with me and Barbi was lead in the group that sang and she did a beautiful presentation of the Christmas story, very heartfelt as only Barbi can worship - Just beautiful. I saw some folk that were still attending from when I went there years ago, it was nice to be remembered. I'm thinking about returning. Just not sure.......

When I arrived home, I changed and Peter and I headed across the road to Hanni's place for more Christmas Cheer. We had drinks and nibblies and then stayed for dinner. The kids came over and joined us, and my parents were there too. She's a very generous lady and I'm so glad she's our neighbour. We have become friends and I enjoy helping her out. She is so kind to my kids too, something you don't often get from people other than relatives. Her family are all grown up and they and her grandkids all live in Melbourne. I think we're her surrogate family, and I'm pleased she's adopted us.

Today was a busy day. I was up early and we headed out to Erbachers, as I wanted to stock up on some of their yummy Turkish bread, and I also bought some cherries. We went into BigW and I bought Mickey some play clothes. He's grown so much of late, his pants are all tight. The other day I realized why.....many are a size 4 lol..... My boys are huge boys and get years out of their shorts, but as he's nine and a half I certainly can't complain!!

We came home, picked up Rusty and took him to the vet's for his second round of vaccinations. The kids were all keen to come with me, as the surgery cat, 'Jasper' is a huge kitty and I knew they'd enjoy seeing him. We asked the vet if Billy-Joe can do his work experience there, and it's all systems go! I'm rapt that we've got all that sorted. Billy-Joe is excited, and I think he will enjoy working there. Sammy and Mickey couldn't even cope seeing Rusty getting a thermometer in his behind, so they left the room!!! Billy-Joe was great and stayed there, and helped out with holding Rusty, I think he'll do fine there, it may be just what he needs to do in order to knuckle down and work hard toward a good OP score.

We came home and I baked our Vanilla Kipferln. I made about 60 of the divine, annual biscuits. The kitchen just smelled heavenly. Sammy said the smell always reminded him of Christmas.......

The kids decorated gingerbread men. I bought the kit, and it came complete with two huge biscuits and the icing. The one on the left is Sammy's and it's fully clothed, and the surreal looking one is Mickey's.

It was extremely hot last week, even Rusty thought so.

Trying to find a cool spot, and yes, it's on my kitchen countertop but no food is prepped there.

Rusty looking pretty.

My current desktop, it's a quick page, I'm so glad this isn't a blog followed for it's scrapbooking, because I always forget whose stuff I use and can't post credit, I didn't design this, just added the photo in Photoshop Elements.

Bah Humbug

2010-12-14T17:51:00.001+10:00

I'm feeling a tad flat today. Not really sure why. I'm not feeling stressed although I've still got all my baking to do and my Christmas cards won't go to the Post Office on their own. I will make a start baking tomorrow. The kids are a bit cranky at times, and then they're well behaved and happy for hours at a time. The sad thing is though, that I've got no patience for the times when they are cranky or cheeky. I just blow up. I've had enough of the back chat and the 'Why do I have to?' crap that they go on with. Mind you, on the whole, they never end up disobeying me, the control I have wins out, and they always do as they're asked, it's just tiresome and wears on me.

I'm trying hard to feel Christmassy. Very hard. I've been putting my last needed ingredients in my Coles shopping cart and am thinking about what nibbles I'll make. I still have to go into the Plaza one more time to pick up some more gifts. Thankfully I still have a little money saved up for that.

I worked on the site this morning, and after last night's webinar, I realize how little I know. Even with doing this E Business Course, I've learned so much, but still have loads more to learn. I feel like I'm grappling in the dark, although the area is larger now than before. A Dreamweaver book I ordered from the Book Depository arrived today, so I'll have a play at making Daisy's a new site. I want something 'slick and more scrapbookingish' if that makes any sense.

I waiver with what I want to do workwise. I want to earn money, and spend money, but I don't really know what I want to do. I'm finding that with working on the site, I actually have less free time than I had when I was teaching, and far far less money. And yet I don't want to teach. I do like the idea of working with just myself. I know I'm talking in circles, but putting this down in print helps me put things in perspective.

I'm just truly blessed that my boss is also my best friend. In many ways Daisy's is as much mine as it is Barbi's. Not in the responsibility stakes, nor the financial side of it, but it was our Brainchild. Not hers and not mine, it's something that we share. It's almost like having a child with someone. There's a bond there beyond just a simple friendship. And I feel fortunate to be a part of it still.

Perhaps I'm not really Bah Humbug, perhaps I'm just in a reflective and contemplative mood, and there's nothing wrong with that I guess.

Operation Flea

2010-12-13T17:18:00.001+10:00

Thought for the day
"Wonder what the neighbour thinks when he's standing in his garden and sees me venture to the wheelie bin, outfitted in my pink socks (because my feet get cold), my blue birkenstocks, and my shortie pjs with an apron on which is yellow with black dots and pink spots. Bewwidifullll!!!! lol......

Living in a sub tropical climate is awesome. Much cheaper than living where I grew up. Heating costs and clothing costs are much lower, although we do have a/c costs, but they're not as high as heating for 9 months of the year would be. Having said that, the heat does have its disadvantages, and one of those are creepy crawlies!!! In all my life in Geelong, I'd never seen a cockroach or a flea.....I did have bites sometimes from my cat, but never SAW a flea, and this was always fixed by putting a flea collar on kitty.......

Of course such a thing as a flea collar doesn't do anything up here!! With two cats, and Izzy who's allowed outside, we've had the two cats with fleas. Sammy is so vigilant and regularly checks both cats, several times a day and kills many a flea. So it was only a matter of time before the house became infested too!!! Izzy is treated systemically but Rusty is too young for us to do so yet, but because Izzy is allowed outside she brings live ones inside which promptly hop onto Rusty. We have treated Rusty topically but Izzy licks it off!!!!

So, today, I flea bombed the house, bathed both kitties in flea shampoo. This is a major task as we can't stay home whilst the house is being bombed.

I took the kids to Maccy D's and we availed ourselves of the free wi fi and had far too much junk food, but we had a lovely time. Thank God we rarely go there, as I spent over $40 on food and ice creams (and frappe for me), but it was an easy way to spend a couple of hours. Between us we had two Nintendo DSs an iPhone and an iPad, so we were rockin' with technology.

We came home, I vacuumed the house and opened up all the windows, and brought the kitties back from downstairs where we'd housed them whilst the war against fleas was raging. They are now exhausted, and still sleeping, bathing them makes them so tired lol......

I will wait and see, but I pray we have conquered these dreadful insects. The kids and I had a relaxing day though, which was lovely. They've been so good and as we spend so much time at home on the holidays it was nice to go out with them.

Reverb 10 Day 3

2010-12-07T21:14:00.001+10:00

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

The moment I'm choosing to write about, wasn't during some wonderful event. Instead, it was during the early hours of the morning, many mornings in a row, around 3 or 4 am. I'd been on my new anti depressants for a few months and had started my arthritis meds and not sleeping well during the initial period. Normally this level of wakefulness would have driven me to high levels of frustration and anger at myself. Instead, I'd sit up for an hour each early morning and just enjoyed the peace, quiet and the fact that this time would soon pass. This moment was important, because of my new lease of life, and the fact I was so much happier within myself. Being an insomniac meant I could do a digi layout, surf the web, and enjoy the utter stillness of the night, without an ounce of bad feeling.

This time lasted for a few weeks. And while I often needed to have a nap in the afternoon to catch up, I coped quite well during this time. It showed me that my lighter mood, wasn't shortlived. Even now if I awake unexpectedly and can't get back to sleep, rather than tossing and turning, I listen to my audiobook, or I get my iPad and surf the web. It never takes long for the fatigue to overtake me again, and I can get back to sleep.

I can't even write about this in such a way to convey how great I feel.

Day 2 Reverb

2010-12-07T21:02:00.001+10:00

What stops you from writing and can you eliminate it?

There's nothing that stops me from writing, as such. I just don't think of it every day. My days are so full, that I can't remember everything that I want to do, let alone physically get to it. Then, on other days I just want to do nothing, and, at other times, I just don't have the energy. Basically all those things come down to one thing ME!! Can I eliminate it? Well hardly lol,

How can this reflection manifest itself into action for 2011? I'm aware I'm the one stopping myself, consciously or unconsciously. I just have to keep this in the forefront of my mind, so that I keep at it regularly.

Reverb 10

2010-12-06T18:38:00.001+10:00

I know how dreadful I am with projects of this nature. Project 365, was Project 2 when I did it, and I can't remember the last time I finished an entire digi scrapping class.........Anyway, seeing as this was only for a month, and I didn't need to do anything other than write, I thought I might just be able to manage this.

This project is based on the ideas from here.

Day 1. (I know I'm behind already, give me a break and I will attempt to catch up)
I need One Word that encapsulates 2010, and I have to explain why I've chosen it.

My word which encapsulates 2010 is NEW. Now I can't even remember what word I chose last year to be my word for this year, but on reflection that word captures everything for me. NEW.
NEW me
NEW body
NEW optimism
NEW me

When I look at the word, I wish, very much that I could have written, "NEW but really just the old come back"........but I can't write that.

I have felt new in so many different ways this year. Earlier this year I finally went to a new GP and poured my heart out, on the advice of my physiotherapist. I went for the holistic approach, rather than just going to the GP and addressing the worst ailment as is my general MO, I told her everything that was wrong with me........Lord only knows why I hadn't done that earlier.

The upshot was, that I went to the specialist too which has addressed my pain issues, and the new meds my GP put me on, has turned me into a new woman. A much happier woman. A woman who is now good to live with, and who has more tolerance. I like being with myself much more nowadays.

My only regret is that I hadn't been put on these meds earlier..........hence saying that I can't even say the 'new me is like the old me was' because I've never been that good before.

Busy Busy Busy

2010-12-03T13:20:00.001+10:00

This time of the year is always so very busy. I'm not buying huge amounts of gifts this year, but still there's lots to do. One thing I'm really pleased with though, is that I've not had a panic attack yet. Thank the Lord. I was actually supposed to go and see the counsellor prior to this season beginning, but I just didn't get there. The last few years, it's started by the time Suzy's Christmas Album is on. This year, was a test as I had to be in two places at once on that same morning, so if it was going to start, that was a perfectly stressful morning to start. Instead, I had a lovely day. I thoroughly enjoyed the class. It's lovely to be playing with all those beautiful products and me not having to think too much about it. Suzy puts in so much prep time, so even though they're quite complex pages, the instructions and planning she puts into it, makes it a joy to work through. Plus I worked with Karen, who took me under her wing, seeing as I had to step out for an hour, and she helped me so that at the end of the session we were basically up to the same page.....anyway, again I digress, but no panic attacks.

Today, however, has been a little full on and I can feel I'm borderline, but still okay. I have had a huge week, actually a few big weeks and today has been incredibly busy with a few curve balls thrown in. Dear Bunny was booked in for his three yearly colonoscopy today, an appointment I'd scheduled over a month ago for 11 am. When they rang yesterday to confirm the booking they said it was for 4pm. Peter had already started the fasting and drinking the solution, and he'd stayed home from work all afternoon to do this. Neither of us were very happy about this as they wouldn't put us back to the original time and Peter rightfully so, didn't want to postpone it to another day.He's already spent the last few days on a restrictive diet and just wants to get it over and done with. It means, however, that I'm not free to go out when I want to tonight, as I will have to go and pick him up. He would have been home well and truly by the time the procedure is now going to happen, and there's no way we would have accepted such a late time slot. To add insult to injury the procedure has a $440 out of pocket expense, which is an added inconvenience.

Anyway, because Peter is home, I've put him to work to help me today. He did a fastidious vacuum of the house today, as both Rusty and Izzy have fleas. They are both being treated, Rusty topically and Izzy with Proban, (systemically). Thankfully there were no fleas in any of the filters, after the house was done, so I'm still unsure where it's coming from. Then, Rusty has the runniest poos!! I think because he's a guts and has been eating Izzy's food. Change of diet isn't good for their little tummies, so I went out today and spent a king's ransom on good quality kitten food and more topical flea treatment. Hopefully we can eradicate them.

I also cannot find clear cellophane in this town anywhere!!!! I want to wrap some small gifts and really wanted clear cellophane. I had to buy coloured stuff in the end. Ah well, it's only going to end up in the bin anyway. I made some gift cards, just simply for what I want to use tonight and I'll make some more with a little extra on them that I can use later. Again it's going to end up in the bin, so no point stressing there.

Seeing as Peter's home today and our toilet has been leaking I asked him to fix it. So, he went out and bought new washers, which were too tight. Then when he tried to flush it the first time, the pressure was too great, and the water exploded out EVERYWHERE!!!! All over the walls and the ceiling!! So glad I wasn't in there when that happened! Now, however, because of the black stuff in the tank, it's stained the outside of the tank, so, no, my toilet looks even more revolting than it did before! I want one of those completely ceramic toilets. One that I can keep scrupulously clean and that will never discolour with age. I said to Peter, to buy me one for Christmas.......I really wouldn't mind.

Because today was the last day of school, I left it up to the kids whether or not they wanted to go for the half day. They were playing games and there was a liturgy for the Year 7s that were leaving. Mickey said he wanted to go, so I said they can both go. However, I'd not put my alarm on, and, had another crappy night's sleep so was fast asleep when Mickey came in to tell me it was 7am!! I got up about 40 minutes later and just pottered around, happy that I didn't have to rush anywhere. Then, Mickey tells me about 20 mins before school starts that his desk is still full of his stuff!!! Why oh why couldn't he have told me that last night, or earlier in the morning. I was rather peeved.

I took him out later to pick up his stuff.

So now we're all home, we've still got this appointment to get through this afternoon. Hope it all goes well for my dear Bunny. They quite often take off polyps which is good, and of course the reason he has this done regularly.

I'm looking forward to tonight, as Alaine and Sheree are coming from Brisbane to spend the evening with us @ Daisy's. It was Barbi's birthday yesterday, so another reason for tonight being a good night.

I need a wine though!!

I'm teaching tomorrow, which I'm not real impressed about, and next Saturday. I'll be happy when they're both out of the way.

A good day

2010-11-30T16:45:00.001+10:00

I'm weary, so happy to be sitting down. I went shopping today with my Mum and Dad. We did much of our Christmas shopping. It was an easy shop, as this year's Christmas is very small. Seeing as we bought a gorgeous pedigree Burmese kitten, we have sacrificed a lot of our Christmas savings. I'm okay with that, as the joy and love we'll get from Rusty, will be so much more than a heap of toys which for the most part aren't played with enough. Although with screen time being delayed, I'm so happy to see the Legos being played with again. Today I bought Mickey some books, and Billy-Joe a watch, I think I'll add a Lego set for Sammy and Mickey and that's it. I bought my Dad a book and my parents in laws a novel each too. I bought Peter a nice shirt for golf and a cool pair of shorts, black and white check, just perfect for golf.

Mum and Dad took me to Sizzler for lunch, and it was very nice. I tend to have the same things though, the Taco beef on corn chips with the guacamole and jalapenos. And the dessert too of course. The apple pie, custard, and the trifle were delicious. We were gone all day. I came home long enough to say hello to the kitties and decide what I'm cooking for dinner and then I had to head out and pick up the tiddlywinks from school.

Once home, I've done my jobs. The dinner is very simple as dear Bunny is having a colonoscopy on Friday and therefore can't eat anything with fibre in it. So sausages and mashed potatoes (in the thermo) for the kids and the mash with a pork chop for Bunny. I'll have fruit I think. I'm not hungry and need nothing with any substance after a lunch out.

Now I'm sitting down, my feet are weary, but I'm content.........

Another lovely weekend, too short though.

2010-11-28T19:37:00.001+10:00

My gorgeous new kitten Rusty having a kip.

It's been a fun weekend. With a new kitten in the house, there's been lots to do and watch and enjoy. We kept Rusty confined to Billy-Joe's room, but today we've let the two cats come together. The growling and hissing has stopped, now they are playfighting, although I do split them up because it gets a bit rough at times. But on the whole, I'm very very happy with how well they're getting along. They are going to be best buddies.

Snuggling with Sammy.

Today I cooked some fudge in my Thermomix. Absolutely delicious and so simple, it barely qualifies as cooking.

I had plans of doing digital layouts today as I want to complete last year's Christmas album. I worked all day. I did washing, I dusted the house, Billy-Joe organized the pussycats' areas, I tidied in the littlie's rooms and cleaned the toilet. I took Sammy and Billy-Joe to Crazy Clarks and was rapt to get a leather Office Chair for Billy-Joe's room. It was $80, down to $49 and I had a 20% off voucher, so the chair was only $40. Bargain!!

I finally got to sit down, checked Facebook, and put the photos on the computer, which I edited for this blog. I became so snoozy I had a lie down, it was just bliss. The best part was that Rusty came and laid one me and went to sleep too.

Fast becoming friends.

I'm excited

2010-11-27T20:58:00.001+10:00

A few people I know are going to Melbourne to see the Tutankahmen Exhibition. It set me thinking. Sammy has had a thing about Egypt for a few years now. Seeing how passionate he is about something so fascinated, has always pleased me. The best I've ever been able to do, is to buy him books on the subject. He reads about this topic 90% of the time. The other 10% he reads about Roman or Greek Civilizations.

As many of you know, I grew up in Geelong, and loved it there. I left because there was nothing left for me when my second marriage dissolved. I was 27, twice married, and dispirited. Like I've said before I'd never go back to live there, but I love it, and always will. It's my home town. Where I went to school.

Anyway, once again I digress...... I'm going to take Sammy to the Exhibition with me. I'm going to spend time with my girlfriend and my relatives in Geelong. I can't wait. I'm taking one of my darling boys to something which will be akin to paradise for him. Can't wait to see his face on the 29th December when he opens his card with this message.

I started that post quite a few days ago, as usual life has gotten in the way of me whiling away my time writing.....

Today is Saturday, it's now evening. I've had an awesome day. The weeks have been so incredibly busy. I left home this morning and spent the time shopping with Suzy, wishing I had loads of money. The sales were awesome, the clothes selection even better. And thank the Lord I wasn't let loose in the crockery department, as all the Christmas dining ware was out and just looked stunning. Suzy and I went to a Thermomix demo today, it was the Christmas one. Once again the food was fabulous and I bought two cookbooks. The Meat one and the Festive Season one. I made the Garlic and Herb butter pull apart to eat with dinner tonight and it was my first success with making a dough in the Thermomix. It made a huge loaf, and everyone loved it. I'm looking forward to making some Christmas fare from this book.

We picked up Rusty yesterday. He's just gorgeous. I've got no photos to post as yet, I'm hoping to get some tomorrow. So far he and Izzy aren't getting along too badly, so I think they will actually become friends.......

I promise more photos soon.

Update

2010-11-23T19:45:00.002+10:00

Julia is third from the left, my eldest niece's graduation.

I have so many things to write about, I so wish I wrote just after things happened, rather than waiting a week.......I'll dot point my entries, to make it easier for me and for you the reader.
* Life has been extremely busy of late. But it's all good. I am looking forward to a couple of quieter weeks, although with Christmas looming, this may not be the case. We're all looking forward to the Christmas break so very much. The kids finish school next week. I'm looking forward to a quieter holiday break too as I won't be working on setting up the site like I was this time 12 months ago. We've made some decisions regarding the store, and making the store smaller will be much easier to manage. I'm excited about changing it. I've also got my name down to do a short course next year in Dreamweaver. I'd like to build another site for Daisy's as my job lot for the course I'll be doing. Using a CMS is great, but very limiting as I've been advised by a good friend of mine. I want the flexibility which I don't have using Joomla. Mind you it's been great, but sometimes you don't know what you need until you start with something, then your goals become clearer.

* I had an arthrogram and an MRI last week. It was a huge day, I was at the hospital from 10.30 in the morning and didn't return home until 3.30pm. I was exhausted. I had an ultrasound as well, and then a couple of hours to kill while I waited for the next step. Thankfully Barbi came and we had coffee together in the cafe across the road. It was a lovely way to spend a few hours. I had taken my book and my iPad, but chatting with her was much better of course. We've not been able to catch up for our weekly coffees, so this was much needed for both of us.
* I came home from the hospital, weary and a bit sore and off feeling. The arthrogram needed about 5 needles before the fluid for the contrast was injected. I got home, and had to shower and get dressed up as I was taking photos of my niece's graduation, of her and her friends. I was also going to the pre formal evening. By the time I sat down at 8.30pm, I was well and truly weary. I had enjoyed doing the portrait shoot, but was very pleased that the day was over.
It was also our wedding anniversary, but we celebrated it on Saturday.
* The portrait shoot went well, but the time was too short. Actually the shoot didn't go as well as I would have liked, but with my editing I was actually able to achieve the look I'd set out for. Initially we'd decided, well Julia, decided to have a beach shoot, but with time limitations and the high probability of a windy afternoon, we changed the venue. I set Julia on a mission to find a grungy wall covered with graffiti. I told her of my idea to have something a bit different, and she liked the idea. Unfortunately these photos were the ones that turned out a bit overexposed, but I was able to create the look I wanted without too much post processing. My focus was out though, but that's probably more noticed by me, (and people who know what they're looking at) than Julia and her friends. That night I didn't sleep well, I fell asleep quickly, but then awoke and couldn't go back to sleep as I was worried about the pictures. I got up at 2am and edited a few, saw that I could fix them and went back to bed. Needless to say I was quite weary the next day, but relieved. I had a sleep during the day, as Ricky was coming for dinner that night and I didn't want to be tired for that.

* I enjoyed a bottle of champagne with Barbi on Friday night. It was a great reward after a big week. It was a good night of chatting and just being together. Barbi's daughter graduated that week too with Julia, and was heading off to Japan on the Sunday. A huge step for a young woman, who only a few years ago, still wanted her Mum to walk her into the school grounds every morning. In the last few months, even, she's matured and grown up so much. What an experience for her to be in Japan for 8 weeks. There she'll experience Japanese life and culture first hand, and is also lucky to be going to a school while she's there.
* Saturday I decided to finish editing Julia's photos. I'd done most of them, but was stuck on the few I wanted to make 'special'. Billy-Joe had organized to go and spend time at a friend's house so I had to drop him off there. I asked for Suzy's help and we spent a lovely afternoon together chatting, and running out of time as usual. But the main thing was she'd refreshed my memory on a few processes, so that I could finish the photos. Julia left for schoolies on Sunday morning, so I've still got a few photos to finish.
* Saturday night was lots of fun. Peter and I finally got around to celebrating our wedding anniversary.I was spoilt as he bought me a gorgeous gold ring with a peridot and amethyst in it. He also bought me some silver ear rings. They were from my brother who owns MiBling.
* Sunday we decided to go down the coast and have a look at a few things for Billy-Joe's room. We ordered his bed and will go back in the New Year to get some cupboard organizers and a desk. It was great just spending time together. We'd considered buying a new PC for the kids as theirs had pooped itself!! We didn't buy one as a gaming computer of course isn't a cheap entity. Now I'm even thinking that I might update my iMac and let the kids have my iMac. We'll wait though, and I think when enough time has elapsed the kids will be so used to using my iMac they won't need a PC anymore. That's my theory anyway.....I've also spoken to them about the fact that they don't play enough and I've changed 'ScreenTime', they now can't go onto a screen of any form until 5pm. Needless to say they're not real thrilled with that idea, but guess what??? They're playing more, so I won't change it any time soon. Billy-Joe was the one most disappointed actually, as he says he doesn't play with toys, but he's on the computer for many more hours as he stays up longer, so I've enforced it with him too. There has to be a balance.
* We get Rusty on Friday. I can't wait. I'll get him in the morning, so I can have him to myself for the WHOLE DAY as I won't get a look in once the kids come home from school.
* The kids had Crazy Hair Day as a fundraiser for Diabetes.

Sammy with Rusty and his sister Holly

Rusty

Crazy Hair Day

Focus is focussing

2010-11-14T19:33:00.002+10:00

I can't believe there are only 40 days until Christmas Eve. The time is just racing by. November has been busy so far, and intends to stay so. Last week I had an evening about Billy-Joe's year 10 work experience program. He is interested in working with animals, so I'll go and see Kim Evans about the possibility. While in my heart I don't believe Billy-Joe has what it takes to do Veterinary Science, as far as academics go, but we'd like him to experience working with animals. I'm thinking this will either make him realize, working with animals isn't for him, or, that he loves it so much, he'll pull his finger out and really apply himself to his school work, and aim high for an OP 1 which he needs for Vet Science. While I don't think he has what it takes to achieve this, it's not because I don't think he's bright enough, it's because he's so much like me........he gets by with doing the minimum and doing well. He's never extended himself to strive to do well. He does such a small amount of homework and still does well. Far out, I know someone else like that. Once I was in High School, I realized that I could still do well without trying too hard. The downside to this, was, that even when I wanted to work harder on subjects I finally found difficult, I honestly didn't know how. I'd never had to work hard, and doing physics and Chemistry was too much for me. I was good at school, and learned easily, but I'd never been overtly taught how to study. I think this overt teaching of such an important skill, is still sadly lacking in our schools today. Once rote learning, and merely reading information isn't enough, strategies need to be employed and this isn't taught. I didn't become a good 'studier' until I did my university degree as a mature aged student, when I taught myself how to study. Anyway, once again I digress......

Billy-Joe is now aware that Year 10 will bring with it new challenges and that he has to amp up the workload if he wants to do well. I've also explained to him, that getting into a degree as a mature aged student is also an avenue. I'd not been interested in Sixth Form (Year 12), and was more than happy to work when I left school at the end of Fifth Form (Year 11). I still got my degree, and I didn't even need my HSC. It gets to a point where life experience and work experience counts for a lot. I think it's a huge ask, expecting kids to know what they want to do when they 'grow up'. Heck, I'm still growing up and exploring options.

The weekend was just lovely. No obligations and no plans. Just perfect after a busy week. As usual I went scrapping on Friday night, and had a lovely night. I did sweet FA though.....need to pull my finger out and make some Christmas cards. Thankfully I never have to make many, as I don't post many, as I only make cards for those friends, I don't see.

I sewed in all my spare time this weekend. I went to Brians Fabrics the other day and had a ball fossicking through all he had to offer. I'll attach photos, my bag isn't perfect, but not a bad first attempt. I've decided that woven interfacing will make the difference. It's a pain, because it's so expensive. I'm trying to source it cheaper, $30/metre seems rather prohibitive for something you don't even see. Actually my fabrics were only $7.50/metre, so I'm not paying $30 per/metre for interfacing!!!! I can't wait to go back and buy some more fabrics. I'd bought enough fabric for about three bags, but I'd mis read the back of the pattern, and hadn't bought enough fabric. Shucks, now I need to go back and get some more.

On Wednesday, my niece Julia graduates! I can still feel the weight of her as I held her as a newborn. She's asked me to take photos of her and her friends at the beach beforehand.That will be fun. I've got some ideas. Ricky is picking me up, as I am not supposed to drive, as I'm having an MRI earlier that day. My Mum and Dad, and I are invited to the pre formal drinks, so I'll go to that after I've taken some photos. I can't wait to see her. She'll just look beautiful. I'm looking forward to see my baby brother too. He's coming for dinner on Thursday night, so that will be fun too.

My handbag I made on the weekend

The dinner I cooked last night. Pork loin chops with a sweet and sour cherry star anise sauce, served on bok choy.

Foci!!

2010-11-08T17:54:00.002+10:00

All year I have struggled with something. While my health has definitely improved, my mood is great and my energy levels aren't too bad, I've had real issues with trying to focus on any one thing. I find myself floundering from one point of interest to another, not really sure where I want to expend my energies.

I still feel guilty about not scrapbooking. It doesn't worry me when my friends try to get me back to it, I understand how they must feel like in a small way I've abandoned them and not just the craft. My main reasons for scrapbooking apart from the pleasure of playing with papers and embellishments, I wanted to document my life with photos and journalling. I wanted something that my kids can look back on when they're all grown up. I want them to know how loved they are, and I didn't want to forget things myself.

My personal income has dropped dramatically. Not teaching means I'm kept in basic pocket money with Peter having to pick up lots of expenses that I used to meet, like kids' clothes and hair cuts. I'm currently cutting the kids' hair and being extra grateful for hand me downs. I have a low credit card debt which I maintain, but no personal loans as such at the moment which is great. I've been paying cash for things lately which is the way it has to be when my weekly income is so low. I have no money at all left in the bank on a fortnightly basis, and the little I earn, is my pocket money, which means I often buy fruit/veges, fuel, or give the kids money and of course my Thai meal on a Friday night. It's my 'purse money', it's also what I use when I buy new markers or some other card making item. It suits me well enough, but I'm very discerning, and there's certainly no money left over for scrapping paraphernalia.

I'm pleased, therefore that I maintain this blog. I can document happenings on here as I enjoy writing and I find I write down much more than when I was scrapping anyway. I will go down the road of digital scrapbooking, but have had no time for it lately, although I need to finish last years Christmas Album, which I will do digitally (with no guilt). I have lots of digital elements which will be perfect for it.

The year is quickly drawing to an end and I want to write down what my focal points of interest will be, hence the title of my post today. I am still working on the website for Barbi and we are considering taking another direction with this. The newer version of Joomla will be released soon and is not going to be a simple upgrade. We think it's time to move onto something more dynamic and something that will grow with us. I have signed up for a trial of Business Catalyst and have also downloaded a trial version of Dreamweaver. As both are Adobe products, there's a compatibility there for the two to work in together.

I'm feeling better that clarity has finally come to me. I've been in a mixed up state of mind for a while, not knowing where to head. I'm still not 100% sure how I'll proceed as I need to buy Dreamweaver, and a course would be great too. TAFE has a course which runs for 18 hours and costs over $300. I could get the program for about $130 as a student's price. Both of these costs I could claim back on our tax which would be good. I will do more research on this before I make a final commitment. It all seems a bit overwhelming at the moment, but I think it will be useful for me. There are also online classes available, which I can investigate. I'm disciplined enough to do this, so that's an option too.

Before the end of 2010 I'm going to
* Teach a Copic A&B class on a Saturday
* Teach a photography class on a Saturday
* Make my Christmas Cards
* Colour my new stamps
* Decide on our Christmas menu
* Do all the Christmas shopping
* Complete Suzy's Christmas Album Class (my darling is paying for this for me <3)
* Complete photos for 2009 album, I always finish this before making the new one.
* Research Business Catalyst and Dreamweaver classes
* Complete trial for Business Catalyst
* Look into handbag making. A gift idea I'm looking into, I can sew and have been neglecting this craft for a long time.

Many of these things will carry over into 2011, but I want to make a start now, and some of course will need to be done by the end of the year. I'm feeling positive and excited about the possibilities.

While scrapbooking isn't taking centre stage anymore, my love of photography is no different, my involvement and love of Daisy's is as strong as ever, so I know I'm not neglecting the industry or my interests.

Just as a totally unrelated aside......I've just caught a glimpse of my desktop on the iMac, and I am so excited to be getting another cat. Rusty is just gorgeous and I can't believe I love him so much already. Karen saw me holding him in a photo, and she asked me was I holding a cat or a baby.........well he's a baby kitty, and pretty special, and it's lovely to have those emotions awakened.

Another aside, am sipping on a Stefani Estate Pinot Gris.

An Exceptional Weekend

2010-11-07T16:22:00.002+10:00

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm feeling very relaxed and content. It's been a great few days in our family, and on the heels of a lovely week too.

Peter and I dropped the kids off in Caloundra around 8am on Friday morning. The weather was foul, teeming rain, and not nice to be driving in. I don't know what it is about us going away, and rain lol.... Seems to happen with regular monotony. Thankfully by the time we got to Brisbane, the rain had gone away, actually it hadn't rained in Brisbane at all.

Of course we got lost. Well not lost as such, but dear Bunny stuffed up and we took a wrong turn. 'Oh no Barbi, Peter says he's fine once we get onto the bridge!!'. Thank God we had directions up until that point, but next year I'll make sure we have directions right to the hotel door!!! Of course he gets so peeved and cranky lol..... I don't even get cranky at him, he does it all to himself - hilarious. Gosh I wish I knew my way around the city, so it's not such a huge drama every single time we go there. I'm sure we'd go there more often if we felt more confident.

We checked into our hotel, and breathed a sigh of relief as we headed to the convention centre. I can't believe I was so naive though to think we would be amongst the first 100 so we could get a pack!!! There were 100s of people waiting, possibly thousands, the line was very long and wide...... Apparently there were some people at the doors already at 7am!!! Unbelievable. I was also astounded that they were all Mums. Mostly just groups of girlfriends. I wondered to myself how they would go picking up their children after school. It's not something I would do that's for sure. The atmosphere was fantastic and the wine exhibitors were happy to chat about their wine, and we're rapt we decided to go on the Friday. We definitely made the right decision there. Saturdays is for the yobboes and those intending to get drunk. Needless to say the wine stall holders are tired and have had enough by Saturday afternoon, and the tasters like us who are serious about finding new wine tastes feel a little overwhelmed by the ruckus.

We met some lovely people. The lady from Stefani's winery was just the sweetest person, even saying that if we're ever in the area we should pop in and visit. We tasted some really nice Pino Gris, which has never been something I've ever liked before. I even drank a mango sparkling wine, which I was reluctant to try as my taste buds have grown way past those kinds of lolly wines....but I was pleasantly surprised. It was delicious, fruity, fresh and not sickly sweet at all
At the Oxford Landing Restaurant, I had an entree of Tofu and buckwheat, a very interesting lunch, and very different from what I'd normally eat. Dessert was a walnut tart with a salty caramel sauce.

We had so much fun together. It's really special being able to walk around, hand in hand without a care in the world. We visited the Grinders stall three times, to drink their coffee. We had two short blacks during the afternoon to keep us going.

Six o'clock on the dot, we were kicked out. They're very strict about when it finishes. We walked back to our hotel with our bounty, of around 8 bottles of wine. We'd actually forgotten to go back to buy a Mango sparkling, nor did we go back and buy these really cool wine glasses. They're $10 more to buy from the website and when you include freight, so that was a shame to forget them. They'll be ideal for going where only plastic is allowed. I can't stand drinking wine out of a plastic cup, but these have been designed by a person who knows about wine. They're stemless and completely shatterproof.

Peter was hungry and eager to go out to dinner. I could have easily had room service and sat in my jammies. But, I showered, washed my hair, and donned a dress and heels and we walked over to Southbank and sat down in a Turkish restaurant. The food was awesome, but I had no hunger what so ever, so my entree platter of dips and turkish bread was largely untouched by me, and Peter ate all the bread and about half of the dips. The serving was huge, would have easily served 4 people for an entree.

I couldn't wait to go back to the hotel and go to bed. I was exhausted. We both had a pretty cruddy night's sleep, although I slept okay for about 3 hours!! Peter's snoring kept us both awake. Even a double dose of sleeping pills didn't help me. The buffet breakfast in the morning was awesome. I was actually hungry for that. The cereals, juices and breads were just delicious. We checked out at 11am and headed for home.

The kids had stayed with Peter's parents so we picked them up on the way home. They'd all had a lovely time too.

By 1pm I'd put on my jammies and was in my bed. I dozed for a couple of hours and then we headed out to pick up Izzy and to visit Rusty. My little kitten fell asleep on me yet again. Think I'll get my schmoozy cat yet!!

When we got home, I showered and got dressed and headed out to join Karen and Barbi at the retreat. I'm glad I went even though I was almost zombie like from fatigue. The food Barbi prepared was scrumptious, good simple fare, but I was ravenously hungry, making up for Friday I think. I was home and tucked back into bed at midnight. I'd decided I wasn't going back for the Sunday. I really needed and wanted a day at home.

Today I slept in, had a late breakfast and then did chores for most of the day. I cleaned some windows, did a heap of washing, and tidied. I feel good knowing I'm all organized for the week ahead.

I need to book an appointment with my counsellor. I don't want to end up with panic attacks again this year, and Christmas with all it's 'busyness' is starting to create havoc in my head. I've got a year 10 meeting to go to on Tuesday night, next week I'm taking photos for Julia's formal and also attending the pre formal 'do'. School is finished in only four weeks!! Can't believe the year is almost over again.

My Christmas list isn't done, and my budget is incredibly low. I'm going to contact my brother and suggest we do no gifts for each other. My presents to my girlfriends will be much less this year too, which is a shame, as I'd love to spend more on them, they are easy and fun to buy for. The Christmas album class is coming up and I was really tossing up whether or not to do it. I know Peter would have given me the money if I'd asked, as I don't have the money put aside for it this year. Alas fate has jumped in and taken that decision away from me as Sammy's IEP is on the same morning. I will think about it a bit more, but I don't think I'll get the kit either. Sad really, but I have to be practical and realistic. I have a little work coming up, so I'll hold off making the final decision and see how I'm travelling. Either way, I can't be at the class, and it's an annual tradition, something that Karen and I normally do together, although the last few years, she's left early to attend a school function, so perhaps it's just not meant to be.

I'm looking forward to Christmas. To hopefully having the family together, laughing, eating delicious food and drinking great wines. The only thing that would make it better, is if we could stay home on Christmas Day..... I know I shouldn't be like that. I always enjoy the day, but I'm so so weary, and quite frankly have had enough of the festivities for a few days anyway, so much so that I don't even want to do anything for my birthday, but a couple of days after Christmas Eve and I'm already thinking of what I can do. Tiredness is a pain in the butt, and takes away all motivation.

It's late afternoon, and I'm tired again. Looking forward to a nice night's sleep again tonight. I want to feel energized for the week ahead.

Life is good

2010-11-04T22:32:00.001+10:00

I've had a good week. I love being at home just doing Mum things and getting the house in order. I find a strange kind of calm when all is good at home.

I asked Billy-Joe on the weekend if he was getting an award this year, because his grades have been quite good. He said no!!! I was stunned!! I thought either he did miserably this term, or the others just did so much better. Two days later, he came home and said there was an amended list up saying that he was the recipient of an academic award. I was thrilled and so was he of course. We both acknowledge that last years award was ours!! I'd helped him so much in all his assignments that it would have been unfair to accredit his award to just him. This year I gave him little or no help, only when he asked actually. So, for him to receive this award, is just wonderful

Last night was the awards night, we went of course. He received his award and we 'escaped' to McDonalds where I shouted him a frappe just like last year. We were home by 8.15, feeling very smug and content..... Not only does he have a beautiful nature, but he has a great work ethic too. I love that about him. He's an awesome child. There's nothing quite like the relationship that you can have with your first born. Don't get me wrong, I adore and cherish all my boys, but I guess because he's my first and is very much like me in many ways, we get along well, and have a very special relationship. He knows that first and foremost I'm his Mum and his parent, but we're also close and enjoy being together. I wish I could have been like him when I was young. He has a beautiful soul!

Today I got up bright eyed and bushy tailed,knowing I had a huge day ahead of me. I took the kids to school, and then came home and started to get things organized for tonight. I was glad that my groceries were fairly early. I crumbed 1.5kg of chicken schnitzel, made a sticky date pudding, cooked the potatoes for the salad and tidied the house.

I had to go and see Barbi as Peter and I are so directionally challenged and don't trust ourselves to find our hotel, and wonderful friend as she is, she helped me jot down 'girl directions' so that we can find our way. I also took in some stuff I'd been working on. I came home, got Izzy into the carry basket, picked up the kidlets and drove out to the cattery. We dropped of Izzy and then went and saw Rusty. I'm just so in love with him. He feel asleep on me once again. I know he's going to be 'my' cat!! I wont tell the kids though lol...... He's so cuddly and his fur is like silk, he even smells good. Am I the only one who loves how cats smell. Actually I like how budgies smell too....... Billy-Joe told me one day that Izzy smells like me, and that's why she smells so good. What a lovely compliment.

We got home, Sammy headed into the shower and Mum and Dad arrived. Seven weeks is a long time. It was so good to see them. I wanted to keep hugging them, and squeezing them. The kids were rapt that they were here, and Peter was so happy to see them too. Dinner was divine. I love how we have so much fun with my parents. They are Peter's and my best friends. We entertain them the most and always have so much fun together. It's a wonderful relationship and I treasure it so much.

It's late now, Peter is downstairs bottling beer, I've showered and have clothes in the dryer. The kids are fast asleep. I'm weary and missing Izzy. The house is so quiet without her.

Tomorrow we are off to the Food and Wine Show. Another fabulous day.

Life is good.

Just Another Day in Paradise

2010-11-01T19:14:00.003+10:00

Some days are so busy, but there's just not much to show for it at the end of the day. A mother's lot I guess.

I decided I needed to take Sammy to the doctor ASAP as he needed another script for antihistamine drops for his Allergic Conjunctivitis and he also has a mole which I was concerned about, which I'd like removed pronto!!

I took Billy-Joe and Mickey to school and then went up to the medical centre to see if they could see Sammy. We couldn't get in until 12.20pm, so I took him to school and then came home. I did heaps of washing, the line was full. I made several phone calls, appointments for Bunny and some calls about my Teacher Registration. The rules have changed for registration, so I need to check where I stand. I don't want to teach but nor do I want to go through the whole palaver to re register if I DO decide to go back. I did Bunny's leave application, and then baked a divine Chocolate cake. I used my hatchet to get rid of all the daggy bits on the chicken wings, to do some prep for dinner and tidied up every single thing. Nothing is left out, my room is immaculate. I also dusted all the venetian blinds, and the furniture.

Just before noon Bunny came home and as I was flying around getting ready to get Sammy, I did some more clerical stuff for him, and then I picked up Sammy. The GP will excise the mole and we got the script for his drops.

We had to wait quite a while, so by the time he had lunch and I had a cup of tea and ate some fruit, it was after 1.30pm. I sat on my MacBook and did some Daisy website stuff, and then laid down for 25 minutes with my audiobook before I had to pick up the other two kids. I picked them both up and then took Sammy to keyboard lesson, and took the other two home. We had afternoon tea after I iced the cake, they did their homework, and I prepped the sauce for my chicken wings.

Then I picked up Sammy, got home, gave him afternoon tea, cooked the spuds for the smashed potatoes, brought in all the washing, and put it away. I was happy to have a shower and sit down at 4.40pm and I enjoyed a cold Pepsi Max.

I made a coleslaw in the Thermomix which turned out really well. I just made my normal dressing, with olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper, but chopped the carrot, cabbage and onion in the Thermo. It was perfect and took me less than a minute to make!!

It's now almost 7 o'clock and I'm happy to be sitting down. The kitchen is spotless, and the kids are almost reading quietly. Bliss!!

I've sent man of the house downstairs as the entire night will be taken up with phone calls to do with tomorrow's race, and I can't bear the noise lol.... I tell him all the time we don't really need a phone, as he has a voice like a megaphone, and I've been listening to this analysis of horses for 20 years, and it's always the same shit. Same shit, different races lol........

This week will continue to be busy, although not as crazy as today I hope, Billy-Joe has his award night on Wednesday, as a proud Mama, I will of course go, but I really hate that kind of stuff......you know where people stand up and say the same obligatory stuff, and we have to sit there patiently listening...... I'd much prefer to stay home and do my course webinar, but of course I want to be there to show my boy how proud I am of him. Last year he received an award, and I reminded him WE received the award as I helped him with all his assignments. This year, he has taken on all I taught him onboard, and he's earned his Bronze Award all on his own, and I'm just stoked. Sometimes I think it's sad that I don't want to work as a teacher, but the knowledge it's given me, as far as delivery of help has been invaluable, and I'm so rapt that my children are benefitting from that.

On Thursday my parents are returning from a 7 week holiday in Phuket. The time has gone quickly, but some days I have missed them dreadfully. I'm excited to know they're home soon, and are coming for dinner on Thursday night. I will take Izzy to the Cattery on Thurs night and we'll visit Rusty. On Friday Peter and I are off to the Food and Wine Show. It's the one night a year, we're on our own, and we're very excited about it. It's a fun weekend for us, a weekend where we do something we both love and can solely focus on each other - pretty special.

I've just had a lovely weekend. I'm still so content and so happy where I am at the moment with my life. On Saturday I cleaned like a madwoman, and am very happy to report that while my shoulder was sore, I didn't have to stop because of it. I used the green Enjo mitt and cleaned walls, in Billy-Joe's room, the toilet, laundry and hallway. I got Peter to do the laundry ceiling, it now looks so much better. I do enjoy cleaning, but hate hurting of course, so many things have been a bit neglected of late. We started the morning very relaxed, the kids didn't have golf and Peter didn't work, so we had a snuggle in and enjoyed a breakfast together with a big plunger full of coffee.

Whilst sitting I perused my Indian Thermo cookbook and chose a Prawn Masala dish for dinner that night. I also decided to make Onion Bhajee, (onion fritters made on delicious besan flour)

In the afternoon I ducked into the shops with Billy-Joe. We dropped into the new Dick Smith store and had a look at all gadgetry which of course we both love. I needed to buy Sammy some new undies, we dropped in and saw Julia and had an Iced Moccha before heading home. I enjoyed an hour or so on my MacBook and then I headed into the bath with my iPad and a couple of glasses of wine. I put some essential oils in the water, and just laid in there for well over an hour. It was so nice.

The meal on Saturday night was absolutely scrumptious. I was very pleased with how easy it was to prepare, and the flavours were so authentic. I had enough batter left over to make the Bhajees for dinner on Sunday night. I'd also bought some naan bread from coles, and it was very nice, much nicer than I thought it would be as I'm often dubious of a packet food.

Yesterday we looked after a friend of Sammy's. Archie's Mum was working at the Pet Expo and she is on her own, so we had her son. We all went to the beach and enjoyed fish and chips for lunch. After I got organized when we got home, Billy-Joe and I headed out to the Pet Expo. I was hoping to see lots of kittens and puppies, but it was a rather poor effort I thought. We did enjoy it though. I talked to someone about having pet meat home delivered and I got some samples too, which Izzy is just devouring with such gusto. I patted a malamute, which was the most beautiful dog I've ever seen in real life. I've only ever seen them in photos and on TV, never in real. I've always loved German Shepherds and this is a paler version, with the most amazing eyes. I also patted a greyhound, a much maligned dog, with a lovely shiny soft fur and a gentle nature. They had pet snakes which were just beautiful, and also the most brilliantly coloured budgies I've ever seen. I could have easily bought a budgie and a fish......but they don't go too well with two pussy cats!! We only spent just over an hour there, but we got in for cheap as the man on the gate knows me, and it was later in the afternoon already.

I can't believe there are only 53 days left till Christmas!!!

Reality Hits

2010-10-24T17:02:00.002+10:00

I have to start this post with a sigh...not a huge one mind you, but a sigh nonetheless. Reality has indeed struck home, and it waited until about four days after we got back from Rainbow Beach. I didn't miss being super busy, I didn't miss getting the kids organized from school and I certainly didn't miss the afternoons where homework is the key focus. Even as a teacher, I find homework with my kids incredibly onerous. Actually at the moment, thank the Lord, it's not all three kids who make it difficult for me, but Sammy is very tiresome to work with. I take my hat off to his teachers, and their never ending patience and understanding of his quirks and foibles because I find them incredibly frustrating and also sad at times. Frustrating because I can't seem to make any headway with him, and sad because his lack of enthusiasm and motivation makes me sad. I fear for him in later life. When the idleness of childhood is something of the past. All our children see that their parents are always busy, working, ensuring the household is in order and running smoothly, so I don't know where this laziness comes from. I know that all kids and teens aren't motivated to do the more mundane things in life, but even with Billy-Joe he knows that if he just gets in and does it, it will soon be over and the fun stuff can be done instead. Even Mickey, has a work ethic. I sometimes need to pull him up to do stuff more neatly or do a bit more, but there's never an issue about him sitting down and doing the tasks........ It's all part of the difficult job of child rearing, I know.......I wish I knew how to make things easier for him. I talk and he understands, or so I think. I just can't give up.

The days since Rainbow have been full and a little overwhelming, and the weekend brought with it a wonderful sense of relief as things could slow down a bit.

We came home from Rainbow with a wonderful sense of well being. That satisfaction that comes from spending time with your family, and enjoying a relaxed time and a few extra treats. Eating out was great fun, not worrying about cooking was even better lol....... I slept well most nights and even had a few afternoon kips.

I will have to post photos up of our trip, my favourite ones. Here's a few I took over the weekend, and also of our new 'fur baby'. We're very lucky to be getting Rusty our new kitten into our family. The kids and I are beside ourselves with excitement. Rusty is a red burmese. The cattery where Izzy stayed is owned by a lady who breeds Burmese. I'd had no interest in these cats until the day we were shown through the cattery and these beautiful cats came toward us and promptly made us feel very welcome. I'd never seen a cat before quite so friendly. I asked the lady what sort they were, as they're regal bearing already showed they were of a pedigree breed. These cats were burmese, and as they say, the rest is history. We looked at the kittens and promptly fell in love with Rusty. It took a little convincing to get Peter to agree, and we had resigned ourselves to the fact that Rusty wouldn't be ours, when Peter changed his mind. There were tears of joy all round, we're rapt. He's our Christmas present.

The following photos are from a weekend visit to the markets and of Rusty.

A frog who was walking around the markets, promoting a nicer environment for frogs in forests. He was beautiful and played music.

It was a glorious day and there were lots of people enjoying the markets and strolling around. There's so much to see it's awesome.

Mickey enjoying a soft drink.

Sweet little Rusty.

Sansonia, but I've spelled it incorrectly and cannot find the correct spelling.

Suzy took this photo of Mickey and I, I love it

Copic Information

2010-10-21T17:57:00.000+10:00

This may or may not be identical to my the class note info I hand out as I don't have it here. But I liked this and thought it may be helpful for other beginners. (credit given to the site where I found the info)

Hair Colours

Dark Brunette—E25, E49, E53, E59

Auburn/Red—E13, E17, E18, E19

Dark Blonde—YR23, E35, Y23

Light Blonde—Y11, Y21, E97, E99

Light Brunette—E25, E29, E31

Black—C3, C5, C7, C9

Golden-Red Brunette—E39, E99, E18, YR23

Denim Jeans

B91, B95, B97

Skin Tones

E000, E00, E11, E21, R20

http://www.scrapbookboutique.com.au/s/80/COPIC-MARKERS-INFO--COLOURS---STAMPING-TIPS.html

It's nice to be home

2010-10-19T17:06:00.000+10:00

Home, Sweet Home

'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home;

~John Howard Payne~

Even though I didn't want to leave Rainbow Beach, I am happy to be home. The above portion from an old poem just says it all. As little and humble my house is, I do love it. Actually today is nine years since we moved in here. We've been lucky home owners for 9 years. Where has the time gone. From a young school aged child and two babies, I now have three gorgeous boys, the eldest of whom will shortly enter his third year of high school. The years travel by so quickly.

I had a busy day today, with a specialist appointment this morning, making sure I was organized for my class and then teaching this afternoon. It was a good day. The weather is glorious as perfect as any spring day in Qld can be.

The rhuematologist has sent me for an MRI on my shoulder. It's been nearly two years since I've had problems with it, it's time to do some further investigations. It's good that she is listening to me.

My Copic class went well this afternoon. It was small class with only 4, but it's a lovely number. As luck would have it, the Copic order arrived during my class, so the ladies were able to add to their Copic and paper stash. With the sale this week, it's a good week to buy.

Izzy is delighted with having us home. She even sat on my lap today, I couldn't believe it. I was sorry that I had to get up and do some chores.

We're (the kids and I) are trying to convince Daddy that we should get another pussy cat!! When we picked up Izzy yesterday I asked if we could see the burmese kittens which the owner breeds. I've been doing some reading and they sound like an awesome breed. They're very loving and friendly. We saw the kittens and all fell in love......

Bunny's initial response was an emphatic no!! Wonder if I can convince him to change his mind........

Testing

2010-10-19T16:56:00.001+10:00

On Holidays

2010-10-14T17:19:00.000+10:00

Wednesday 14 October, 2010
We’ve only got three days left of our holiday, tomorrow we’ve been here a week. I always find the first few days go slowly, and then, as the routine of the days becomes established, the time goes more quickly. Actually almost as quick as our money.

Actually, I wonder how much money families spend on holidays. The families with good incomes, who do lots of paid things with their kids. The ones who attend the movies and theme parks and eat out all the time. It would run into the thousands. We’ve found we are having to be very careful with our funds, and what we are spending is all being spent on food, and most of it with food that we’re buying from the supermarket and eating at homes.

It’s been lovely to enjoy days that are quiet and relaxing. Days where my husband and I can just be together, where neither of us has to be anywhere else. Where the lack of routine means that we’re not rushing off to work, or having to take the kids anywhere. We’re all enjoying the rest. The kids are having fun spending so much time with us and have not tired of fishing everyday. My boys don’t fish to catch and eat the fish, but merely for the sport aspect of it. Billy-Joe caught a fabulous flathead the other day, it’s my favourite fish, and would have made a great meal, but there was no way that he could have killed it and brought it home. Suits me fine though, I like the fact that my boys are soft and enjoy letting the fish go back into the water.

We’ve all been sleeping in, with the exception of Mickey, who always falls asleep first and then is up early. Even Sammy and Billy-Joe slept until 10am today. It’s obvious our beds are comfy.

As the holiday nears its end, I’m thinking and planning already for the next holiday and also for the year ahead. I have a bit of catching up to do with my coursework and I also have a class booked for next week. So the day after we return, I“m right back into the routine, but with the knowledge that there are only 8 weeks left of the school year. I can’t believe that another school year is almost over, and that summer is quickly approaching. Next year Billy-Joe will be in year 10 and Sammy heads into his second last year of primary school. It didn’t seem all that long ago that they were all tiny children.

Thursday 15 October, 2010
I got up early and went fishing with my boys this morning. Bunny was most impressed that I was out of bed first!! Me the one who loves to snooze and snooze. I enjoyed it for the fact that I took lots of photos, and it's always nice just to watch the kids. I am loving just being with them. I sat down on the beach for an hour and a half and then had enough of the wind as my ears were beginning to ache, so I headed up to the car. I made a shopping list for Woolies and when the boys came up to the car we went home. We left Billy-Joe at home and headed out to Cooloola Cove and did some shopping, and I had to put a script in.

After we took the food home, we went and had lunch at the sportman's club. The food was great. I had a chicken, and avocado pizza, which was just divine. It was even better than from the Italian Restaurant, and that dinner was really good. We hired some videos for the kids and had an ice cream. It was blustering and windy, but we still walked down and checked out the surf and I took a photo of the kids in front of the Cherry Venture’s propellor. I want to do a digi layout where I add the same photo from last year.

We got home, I showered and then laid down as I had a mild headache. Unfortunately I feel asleep lol....and woke up over an hour later.

The boys are now home from fishing, love how happy and excited they are when they come home.

At Rain(bow) Beach

2010-10-10T20:57:00.002+10:00

We're away on our long awaited annual holiday. It almost seems unfair, that we save so hard for our break and then it rains....but you know what? We are still making the most of it. For one thing, we've already decided that next year, we'll go away a little later in the year. Sept/Oct is too unstable weatherwise here in Qld. Last week the weather was just glorious. Hot everyday, cool nights and I was in summer clothes, with short shorts and a singlet top and this week, it's raining.... Thankfully though it's not cold.

We booked the same house that we had last year. We're a little sad though to see that nothing's been done to the place. The weeds have been let run rampant and the broken towel rails, and door knobs haven't been fixed. Even the hissing/whisting toilet that Bunny fixed last year, hasn't been fixed properly. We'll go somewhere else next year, and this house is on the market too, it's obvious the owner doesn't want to spend any money. Sadly too, most people who rent holiday homes treat them badly. We treat this house like our own.....why can't more people be like us.

On the flipside though, the beds are still comfy, the house roomy, and I love having an ensuite. I can't believe that I think having my own shower and toilet is luxurious, but it is. Home has had bucketloads of rain, it's made the papers, they've had 10 inches of rain in a few hours....we're lucky to not have had as much here.

Probably the only thing we've done different so far, is that we can't sit on the beach, and I've not sat by the pool. We have still eaten out, enjoyed the relaxed feeling and enjoyed each others' company. We've even all been in the pool, crazy as it sounds, because it's not hot, but we're not going to miss out on having our own pool.

Even from last year, my kids have grown up so much. We let them in the water on their own now. All three are competent in the water, and it's a liberating feeling.

We stopped in at Aldi on the way up here and bought some nice food. There's a woolies about a half hour away from here, and an IGA and Foodworks handy for everyday things. The bakery sells yummy bread and there's the obligatory fish and chip shops, cafes and pizza places. Last night we out out Thai. It was very nice, but rather expensive. It's a shame that it costs $145 to take a family of five out for dinner!!!! We won't be doing that again. The same menu in Nambour would have cost us about $85, and the food would have been just as good. No wonder we don't eat out much as a family, the cost is prohibitive. The kids love eating out though, and we love taking them out, so it's a real treat for all of us.

The boys have been fishing twice already, and I've been happy staying home, on my MacBook, reading and snoozing. Tomorrow they want me to go too though.....and they want me to get dirty yikes, they want me to have the mud coming up through my toes.....not sure about that lol........ I don't mind to fish though, so we'll see what transpires. I'm not going if this weather continues though.

Sammy playing with the wrestling figurines in the lounge room.

Billy-Joe on his 'Apple Dell' in the family room.

Kidlets enjoying an ice cream at the yummy ice cream shop.

Kids swimming , with Mickey saving on washing.

A Cardmaking Retreat

2010-10-10T20:38:00.001+10:00

It's Sunday afternoon, the last day of the holidays. The Grand Final (NRL) has just finished and my kids are just finishing their dinner. We're not really sad because on Friday we head off to Rainbow Beach for our annual holiday. A time that we all look forward to, and my dear hardworking husband needs this time to recharge his battery.

This last week was lovely. I still didn't end up achieving what I wanted to do, but I thoroughly enjoyed these aspects
- sleeping in every day, some days later than I wanted
- the fact that days aren't strictly regulated by time or schedule
- the fact my kids now occupy themselves and are happy and content
- if I decide on the spur of the moment to cook something or go somewhere, I can
- the kids are now old enough, so if I have an errand or an appointment, I can take Mickey with me and the two older kids are fine at home on their own.
- the fact that school pick up time comes along and I can stay home

Downsides to the holidays
- the time goes too fast
- For some reason I chop and change what I'm doing, and I don't seem to spend time just settled and relaxed. I always think of something else I could do (based around chores).
- I plan to create and I don't take the time :(
- I don't have the money to do lots of fun things with the kids (I did take them to Lazerzone on one morning, but that was largely funded by the Golf Club).
- No one takes my chores away just because I'm on holidays.

Normally I'm feeling a bit down on the last day before the kids go back, but because we're going away, no one feels too bad today. The kids will have four days back at school and then we're off. Ten days of the barest of housework, eating out, ice creams, fishing and lazying on the beach of by the pool and reading lots, and watching movies!!

Okay, once again I've had this sitting here without uploading it, and the post isn't finished. Rather than deleting it, I'll upload and made a new one asap....

My Day

2010-10-03T17:35:00.001+10:00

I would like to blog more, but my day so often sounds so dull when I try to recount it in my head. The thing is though, it never feels dull to me. I enjoy my days. Whether I'm working heaps, doing errands, cooking, cleaning, it doesn't matter. I like what I do. I love being a Mama @ home.

The funny thing with the holidays is that I always imagine I'm going to have bucketloads of time to complete so much more than I normally do, but it never seems to happen, if anything I'm often more busy....

For example the kids are at golf clinic this week which means that I have all this time on my own. While the golf course isn't far away, they're doing major roadworks near my house, so it's currently taking me about 80 minutes a day just to take them and pick them up again. Before we started this morning, we headed out to visit the Cattery where Izzy will be staying while we're on holidays. We always left Charlie at home on her own, and the neighbours or a friend would come and feed her. Because Izzy is inside all night and enjoys the boys' company we can't leave her on her own. It wouldn't be fair to her. She would miss us dreadfully, and I would worry like crazy. The lady at the cattery said we could come and check out where the cats are housed, and I knew the boys would love to go and see too.

The place was outside of town, set in beautiful surrounds. The cattery was spotlessly clean and didn't even smell like it was full of kitties. The boys and I were in our element. We were allowed to pat the cats, the sociable ones that are allowed out into an open area. They were so smoochy, it was lovely. A burmese jumped on Billy-Joe's lap while he was crouched down to pat another cat, then, later the same cat jumped onto Sammy's back. It was so nice being in a full on cat environment. I asked the lady about Burmese cats as the owner breeds them. They sell for $400. That's an expensive little kitty.....I can just imagine Bunny if we said we wanted another cat lol......

I dropped the kids at golf and then headed to the store to order some pizza flour for Suzy and I. As I pulled up, my groceries had arrived, so that was good timing.

Ooops, I started that post 5 days ago lol, see how distracted I get. That's what happens when you do lots of things at once.

The weekend has been and gone. On Saturday I was looking forward to having a day where I could just please myself. I slept in a little, got up, did some chores and then got showered and dressed to go out. Suzy, Karen and I were going to a Thermomix class which I was looking forward to.

This is an old post, that I forgot to upload.

School Holidays continue

2010-09-28T18:05:00.000+10:00

I’ve not looked back over my blog, but no doubt I was going to achieve wonders and miracles!!! Mind you I’ve had a lovely time, especially this second week, but the time goes by far too quickly.

Yesterday I took the kids to Golden Beach. I love going there, as there’s no waves and I can sit really close to where the kids are swimming and playing. I feel much better being close to them and not having my voice drowned out by waves. It was windy though, which was a shame. The kids had a ball wrestling in the water, playing on the skimmer board and digging to China. I sat watching them for the most part, and listened to my audiobook for a little while. When a storm was threatening, with ominous dark clouds, we decided to leave.

We bought ice creams and then headed home for an early shower and got in our jammies. Peter dropped home at 2pm and couldn’t believe we were already for sleeping lol. Love holidays. Love the fact that it’s easy. Oh and did I mention in my last post what a far cry it is from when the kids were little. I used to hate school holidays. The kids were little and naughty and nearly drove me insane!! It still surprises me sometimes that we all came through it unscathed. Now I love the holidays. The kids sleep in, and let me sleep in too. It’s peaceful in the mornings, and calm.

Today I’ve had a busy day, only just sitting down to chillax now, and it’s after 4pm. I tidied my pantry this morning, got rid of out of date packets and generally made it look more organized. It didn’t take long, as I do a little in it each week anyway, I can’t stand a messy pantry. Billy-Joe under my supervision, made the Marble Cake out of the Thermomix EDC, I’ve iced it and it looks awesome. I did it in the fluted springform and it looks lovely. I’m still a little undecided about doing the icing sugar in Thermie though, it’s still gritty, maybe I need to blitz it for even longer than I do. I did it for what I thought was quite a bit longer, but it’s still gritty. Will have to look into that one. I minced up chicken thigh fillets and have made an asian flavoured mixture which I’ll roll into meatballs. I won’t buy chicken mince anymore. I also went to an organic store which sells an amazing range of food. I’ve never been into that store before and it was a real eye opener. I can’t wait to go back there, with more of an idea of what I want. I bought some spelt flour, 5 grain mix, and some pepitas. At this stage I was just buying a few things to make my bread a little more special and healthier. I will buy my burghul and couscous and rices from there too in future. I also need to get some more containers and things for my pantry, if I’m going to keep this kind of stuff. Seeds and grains are so good for us, and now that I have a Thermomix, no hassle to cook, as I can mill anything I buy. I could even make my own tahini as they sell organic sesame seeds.

The chicken mince is done, the rolls are ready to go in the oven, and I’m just sitting, and reflecting on my productive day. I called in to Daisy’s this morning too and bought some stamps which I’ll play with on the weekend.

Mmmm, must be wine o’clock soon....... I’ve been nursing a headache all day, my second day running, not sure why I’ve got a headache, it’s certainly not stress related. Maybe I need a visit to a physiotherapist to get my neck looked at.

I’m looking forward to this weekend, but not the sleeping arrangements. I’ll have to make sure I have my Restavit and pray for a quiet room.

So much to say and not enough time

2010-09-22T14:03:00.001+10:00

That's the story of my life. Blog posts whirring around my head with regular monotony and yet they rarely make it down. The busier my life gets the less I blog - realistically it's not the most important item on my list of 'to dos' but it is important for me really. I do enjoy going back over and reading old posts. One day, I'll have to get it made into a book, I have downloaded a copy onto my hard drive, but it needs updating too. I've just gone and read over the last few posts on my kitchen blog. Where have the last three years gone. So glad I took the time to document that, otherwise tiny details would have been lost. That's why I blog, to remember, and to document. Seeing as I've not scrapped in months, at least if my blog is up to date, the important things (for the most part) are documented.

Even though life is so incredibly busy at the moment, I certainly have no complaints. We're all healthy and happy, and really, is there anything else needed? The bills are paid, and we're comfortable albeit a little cramped in our little house.

The boys are growing and thriving and a constant joy in our lives. Not a day goes by though, where I'm not grateful that I'm past all the little kid stuff. Don't think I have that fortitude for it anymore, no correction, I know I don't have that anymore. It's like I've done the hard yards and am very happy that it's behind me. I remind myself constantly though, when little things happen that now make my life so much easier, to not forget those days. I'm grateful that the discipline, routine, (ranting and raving) has finally paid off. I know I go on about this from time to time, but it's something I think of often, I don't ever want to forget, and I remind Peter all the time too, as he often views things through rose coloured glasses.

The school holidays have begun and we're all very happy about that. The kids need time to chill out just as much as I do. The weather has been cruddy, but the kids enjoyed a quiet weekend playing their various games and watching movies. During this week, they've been going to a golf clinic, these weeks are very good for them, gets them outside, and with other kids. It also re ignites their love of the game, although in all honesty, given a choice Billy-Joe and Sammy would be lazy and sit on their butts for the entire time lol.... Mickey has more get up and go than the other two put together!! He needs to keep busy. He's not interested in spending hours in front of a screen, he needs to move and play....it's so good. He's actually the one that gets bored though, as Billy-Joe and Sammy are content to just occupy themselves quietly. But we're bad parents and we make our kids take part in the clinic [grin] and of course they have an absolute blast.

I've been busy with doing my e course and also working for Barbi. The Copic classes have taken off and my ladies are pleased. I'm not going to continue with a Copic Card Class as such, I'm great at teaching knowledge and techniques, but not so good imparting creativity or inspirational ideas. I'd feel too much pressure, teaching card makers how to make cards lol...... I want to enjoy this, not make it stressful. I was happy when I stopped teaching scrapbooking, so I'm not going back there again. Many think that turning your hobby into your work is a great idea, but it's not like that at all. Many a hobby has been fouled because it became work!! I've not done any scrapbooking as I mentioned, nor have I done any digital stuff either, which is a bit sad. There aren't enough hours in the day and I always seem to find something else to do.

I'm loving my Thermomix. I'm still considering restarting my recipe blog, but I'm still cooking things mainly from the cookbook. I'm happy doing that at the moment. No doubt when I get sick of those recipes I'll venture out. I have used the Thermomix for my own recipes though. Actually I use it every single day, usually two or three times. I've made jam three times, the scone are awesome, each week I make a pasta sauce, tonight I made my lasagne and did the sauce in Thermie. I bake heaps more than I did before, because its so easy and my shoulder doesn't have to do anything. Often the hardest part of making something is getting the ingredients out!! I've made bread too, but will experiment with different types of bread. Making the pizza dough in Thermie is awesome and so much easier and quicker than using the bread machine. I have to find a new home for my older appliances..... I won't use them anymore. The kids are learning how to use it too, which is great. The recipes are so simple and in typical childlike fashion, they have no fear of using gadgets.

I'm off to my girlfriend's house this afternoon who is taking delivery of her very own Thermomix. She's as excited as I was on the day mine came. Can't wait to see her and help her make a few things. Laurent is so busy at the moment, he can't stay for a demo, but rather than have her wait for her Thermo, she's getting it today...... We're off to a class on Saturday, so it will be fun to learn new recipes. I've had a perusal of other cookbooks which my other girlfriend loaned me and there are others I want to buy too. I use the Everyday one everyday.....but would love the Indian one and probably some of the others too.

Okay, this post was lots of fluff and ramblings........best close off now...before I go off on another tangent.

Welcome to our household ~ My Clever Bimby.

2010-09-04T14:50:00.001+10:00

I am in love! I have a new 'gadget' in my household. No, it's not a computer, or handheld device........I do like other things not computer or Apple oriented, although one could argue, I do seem to hover around that prohibitive price point with the things I love to have........I'm fortunate to have a husband who not only indulges me but trusts my judgement - I'm very lucky indeed.

I first heard about the Thermomix (It's called Bimby in some European countries and I think it sounds cute, so I'll call it Bimby or Thermie for short!!), from Laurent the chef who Bunny organized to cook my birthday dinner for me, the night he planned for me where I invited 5 of my closest girlfriends to dinner, and Laurent, a french chef cooked me a divine three course meal, complete with hors d'oevres and a divine cake for dessert. Laurent told me he'd made quite a few things on my menu in the Thermomix, something I'd never heard of before. He told me it was this amazing gadget that cooked, and weighed and minced and diced and kneaded and it was used heavily in his tuck shop every day. At this stage, I didn't realize it would feature in Laurent's book and would also be seen on MasterChef. I thought nothing more of it, as the price he quoted me was prohibitive!! Then, a few months later, my girlfriend said she'd seen an article in a newspaper and was this the same gadget. We deduced that it was. Then, Karen was invited to a demonstration of this wunder machine. Karen, couldn't get over how fabulous this machine was. She said the food was sensational. I was very interested after hearing her review. Karen said that her husband was very interested too, so she booked a demo to which I was invited. I remember watching this consultant cook, and fluff her way through the demo, (she was very knowledgable but a bit ditzy and all over the place lol.....) The food she cooked was divine. It was simple, fresh and delicious. I'd never tasted anything like it before. I consider myself a good cook, but have to do lots to make something taste good. This looked so simple and effortless and yet the food was sensational. She made this risotto, and I kept thinking the whole time, that's not going to taste good, as there's not enough flavour in it. It was divine. Just with mushrooms, parmesan cheese, spinach leaves, and a home made vegetable stock. I was stunned at the flavour of it. At that moment, I decided the machine was worth getting just for the stock. She also made these bread rolls, which were kneaded for a few minutes and I was convinced they'd make great squash balls, or garden ornaments!!! She added her own grains, which the Bimby mushed up with no effort at all. The bread was absolutely sensational, I was actually stunned!! They were soft, fluffy and so healthy. She also made a sorbet which is a standard to show people what the Bimby can do. You can use raw sugar, and in seconds have white sugar, then a sec more for castor sugar, and a few more to make icing sugar. No anti caking agents, nothing added, just pure sugar!! The sorbet has fresh fruit added to it, ice cubes, (the noise this makes is unbelievable, but the Bimby just chomps through them). The final result is just beautiful and creamy.....and you know what's in it, and you've paid barely anything for it. You can use lemons off you tree, ice from the freezer, everyone has sugar, and you add an egg yolk, or pineapple juice and voila you have a dessert made in seconds which hasn't just cost you $7-8 to buy!!!!

So after Karen's demo, I walked away so excited for her as her husband happily handed over the $$$ for it as he was impressed too. This was just before Christmas and since then I've attended another demo and a cooking class held at the local community centre, and it just convinced me further that I wanted this thing.

Last Saturday it arrived. Laurent, delivered it, not only dumping it at my door with the cookbook, but he stayed for two and a half hours and made a sorbet, a chocolate cake, and pizzas and a chicken curry. He left and I was so excited about my machine, but the only thing I had to try in it was cream to whip lol..... It was quick and easy and didn't make the mess that my electric beaters always make. I always have to wear an apron, because it spits white dots everywhere and drives me nuts!! The next day I made a quick berry sorbet to show my Mum and Dad. In hindsight the sorbet is probably not the best thing that advertises it as listening to it crunch the ice is quite disconcertingly loud. The sorbet was beautiful though, even better than Laurent's!!!

Ready for the jam

Since then, I've only had one day where I've not used it. I can't believe how awesome the machine is. My shoulder is so grateful. No longer when a recipe asks for me to cream the butter and sugar, will I just take the shortcut and melt it, or worse, hurt my shoulder to do it. I cooked a spaghetti bolognese one night. I was very dubious of this dish. I hate meat that's not been browned first, and has then been let to 'stew' to completion. It gets a very strong taste, which I hate. Even onions not browned and done in the slow cooker, take on a taste which I find overpoweringly offensive. Well this Spag bol was the best one I'd ever made. I couldn't believe it. I just literally threw everything in, and let it cook at the speeds and times suggested in the cookbook (25 minutes) and voila I had a pasta sauce done!! I normally cook a spaghetti sauce for 2-3 hours and then I think it's enough!! On Thursday I'd had a migraine, and didn't feel like cooking anything, so I used the dish I'd frozen from the chicken curry that Laurent made on the Saturday. I had tasted it when he'd made it, and decided it needed a few more things, so I added my own fish sauce, more garlic, more chilli and some kaffir lime leaves. I also decided to cook the rice in Bimby too, for the sake of the experiment. I've never had a problem cooking rice, I don't need a rice cooker, so I didn't think I could make it any better in the Bimby, well again I was impressed!! While the curry stayed hot in the thermo serve, my rice cooked in barely any water, and it was delicious!!

So this week, I've made my vegetable stock, some strawberry jam, a pineapple cake from Laurent's cookbook, tomato pasta sauce and I'm very impressed and am so happy to have this item. I'm going to make my own mayonnaise too, so I don't have to buy the stuff that has preservatives galore in it, it's Laurent's aioli recipe. In the summer when the chillies are on, I'll make my own sweet chilli sauce. You don't even have to chop stuff, I stuck the tomatoes in whole for the tomato sauce!! Effortless, chuck it all in, and cook it for 30 minutes and then it was all done, let it cool a bit and put into freezer in containers. So for under $3 I've got pasta sauce for two meals. Cheaper even than home brand stuff and I know what's in it. A quarter of the tomatoes were even from our garden, so I'm rapt.

Ready to make the tomato sauce

Another retreat is over

2010-08-22T21:34:00.003+10:00

I can't believe how quickly these weekends are over. It seems I look forward to them for so long, and then in no time Saturday is finished and the retreat is more than half over. I've been going to these Daisy's Retreats now for 8 years. And I was going a couple of years prior when I was attending the Creative Memories ones. I've lost count of how many I've been to. With each retreat though, I come away with something new. Whether it's a new tool, a new friend, or a new and inspired mind set. From getting new ideas and inspiration for crafting to motivation to exercise and lose weight. They're always things which have had a major affect in my life.

It's from retreats that I learned about audiobooks, a way of reading which has revolutionized my chore time and increased the amount of books I read. I've forged closer bonds with good friends and have made a few new ones too, friends who'll be lifelong friends. It's for these things that I'm most grateful for. Not the fact that I'm away from my family and that I can sit and create for hours on end, for me that's a fabulous bonus, but it's the other things, the things I can't plan for that are what make these retreats so special to me. From now on I will document what new revelations I receive.

This retreat was no different, as always I've come away with new knowledge and feelings. I've learned that it's harder to say 'goodbye' to my Brisbane friends after each retreat. The end of a retreat signals that they are back to their lives and to living far away from me. I miss them. Alaine and Sheree are very dear to me. I'm trying to think of how long it's been that we've been friends. We've met many times, but it's probably since early last year that we've been closer.

We've shared so much about ourselves, from books to feelings to family dynamics and personal trauma and sadness. We've laughed together and felt each other's pain. I feel very blessed to have met them both, and to include them in my enclave of close friends.

Suzy sat next to me this time, and unfortunately Karen couldn't come. Her and I can only be at one retreat together a year, as commitments always fall on the other dates. I missed Karen, she would have finished the group. Suzy is great company, we have many of the same interests and can talk about them ad nauseum, but we both enjoy the quieter moments too, the tired moments, the times when we're deeply engrossed in what we're doing. It's a special friendship like that, each respectful of the other and mindful of her moods. We work well together. We have different tastes and ideas, but are always willing to lend a helpful word of advice in the creative stakes. No hassles sitting with her for the entire weekend, that's for sure. I'm a lucky girl that I have the type of girlfriends, who are fabulous in small and big doses. I think that's the key, we're all capable of being loud but we all enjoy the quieter moments too.

I made five cards this weekend. When I sync my iPhone, I'll have images to upload, so I can show you. I finished the cards for my first Copic Card Class (still can't believe anyone would want to make my cards!!). Plus I made two more, using CC Designs Stamps and some new Pixie Licious papers. The wonderful thing about card making, is that I can use papers and designs, I'd never use in my scrapbooking. I can make elegant cards and I can make cutesy cards. I don't do cutesy on layouts, I don't like it, never have, but love the fact I can be even more eclectic on my cards. I don't have a set style or preference, I love lots of different looks and colour combinations.

Suzy and I fixed my USB modem. For weeks now I've not been able to connect my Virgin Broadband stick. I've deleted and reinstalled the program in different configurations so many times I'd honestly believed I'd exhausted them. Dear Suzy, who's as persistent as I am with technical glitches, set about searching for a solution. The beauty of having someone else help you is that they use different words to search. Suzy found another set of processes which I'd not tried before. I knew this was a last resort for the night. We'd already tried each other's modems on each other's MacBooks and in hindsight, I know they wouldn't have worked as we both would have different drivers. Suzy bought her modem a few months after I got mine, so of course it would be different.

We had the directions set out on Suzy's MB and then I went through the process that she read out for me. I altered Terminal commands and everything..........................................................

You have no idea how we both reacted when it actually connected. We were both ecstatic and so surprised. I've never known before how cool it would be when there's two of you excited with a positive outcome. I was just stoked. I've gone from wondering whether it was my MacBook that wasn't responding, or whether my $129 modem was playing up!! Had I known which it was it would have helped, I could have at least known what the issue was. So, in the end it was a system issue, and not a hardware issue at all. I'm very very happy about the outcome, so much so that every time I thought about it and realized it was resolved, I felt so happy.

I made cards this weekend, Copic creations which I really loved making. I didn't find my mo jo until the Sunday, which is my normal modus operandi.

I had a fabulous weekend. Great food, cooked by my hard working girlfriend Barbi and her lovely daughter Holly and awesome company, with my friends. Loads of creating time, with trouble shooting time thrown in, and the introduction of a new game....Words with Friends on my iPad.........

I came home, my darling boy was fast asleep. His first all nighter after completing Relay for LIfe, and Mama was so worried about him last night. It was absolutely freezing last night. He said he'd never been so cold in his entire life. I'm so glad I pressured him into taking some warm stuff and he ended up taking a sleeping bag. Even with all that, he was bitterly cold. He was very touched during the ceremony. It's a poignant time when you hear directly from people touched by this insidious disease. I'm proud that my 14 year old boy was touched and shed a tear during this ceremony, so good of them to be thinking of someone other than them egocentric selves........

I've been updating my blog on and off since 4.30pm. My Bunny and the two little ones came home from golf and we've had a nice evening together.Bunny made them dinner and I've sat and had several glasses of wine.......

I'm happy, I've come home to a happy household that's tidy, with the washing up to date.

Life is good.

The inspiring and intelligent Lisa

Yours Truly with the Sweet Cherie

Yours Truly with the Vivacious Lisa

Moi with my Sweet fellow geek, creative genius SuzyQ

The girls, Tenneal, Lisa, Sheree, Lisa, Alaine, SuzyQ and Moi

I didn't get a photo with dear Alaine and I, she was busy on the phone....it wasn't until I went through them all that I realized, which is a shame.

Addendum
"Old people sex is fabulous". Had to test out the theory yet again lol.... Love you darling husband of mine!!

A day

2010-08-17T14:34:00.001+10:00

You know my days just fly by, they're so full, I'm so busy, and yet if someone asks me what have I done, I stare blankly!! Not enough room in this HD for everything, and not enough RAM either..... so I really need to write things down.

It's just after 8.30am on a Tuesday morning. The kids are at school, the littlies were there early as Sammy has an excursion and the bus was leaving early. I've hung out a load of washing, the house is tidy and I've vacuumed. Another load is almost done. I've hunted and found my pathology referral because I'm supposed to have monthly blood tests but to my relief I'm only a few days late.

I had a Copic class yesterday, and stayed back to prepare for the next two. I have another in two weeks time, which is not an introductory one but I'll actually be teaching the colouring of an image and making two cards!! I've got to colour the image and select my papers. I have to do that today. I have to type out some accounts for Bunny so he can collect some money. I've also got to ring him and organize him lol......

I'm currently having a cup of tea. I'll report back and let you know how my day has gone. I've done the accounts and have just ordered my Thermomix!!!

I've uploaded a range of products onto Daisy's site, so I'm glad I got that done. Then I headed into Daisy's and selected the papers and colours for my first full Copic class. I've come home, taken down a heap of washing and am now updating my blog before I go out and pick up my kidlets.

Afterwards, I'll prepare dinner, while I supervise homework, email my class attendees and look forward to a glass of wine at wine o'clock.

I feel good, I've had a good and productive day.

A day at home midweek

2010-08-11T14:14:00.001+10:00

I'm feeling a bit off, nothing major, just the onset of a cold, you know when you're glands are swollen and your head thumps......so with that I was really pleased that today is a holiday. It's a miserable day, it's been raining for much of the morning, a shame really because it's a holiday because of the Ekka, but it's awesome, because I'm inside my house, the kids are playing on computer, Wii and watching TV. It's that kind of day. Dear Bunny has gone out and worked this morning and even though it's over an hour after he said he'd be home, he's still out. He can't help himself. I think deep down inside it makes him happy to be earning money for us.

I've spent the morning doing the usual, washing and having to use the dryer, much to the chagrin of the Climatesmart people, lol, but I refuse to have washing piling up everywhere. Billy-Joe is at a friend's house so having one less child in the house is blissful. There's much less yelling and testosterone in the house when he's out. I worked on www.daisychainscrapbooks.com too, I've installed a new plugin that will hopefully stop all the spambots. Those things just shit me to tears. It's what lead to the demise of Daisy's last time, and that isn't happening this time, but I'm hoping that what I've set up will stop this from happening. It annoys me that Barbi gets up to a dozen emails a day from these useless bits of wastes of space!!!!! I think I might go into the shop one day and set up different folders in her inbox, so that these things are managed better. I can do it for all her suppliers too and it will make organization and looking for things quicker and easier.

Hello my name is Jenny Schimak and I have a serious genetic flaw!!! I'm besotted with technology.......[sigh] Love it love it love it!! I say it's genetic because it's from my Dad. I think this is pretty cool, seeing as he grew up with bombs being dropped nearby and Hitler at the height of his reign. No technology!! No media (mmm sometimes that could be a good thing!!) They were lucky to eat and be warm, so gadgetry wasn't a consideration or even a thought. So it's definitely genetic though. I can still remember, as clear as though it was yesterday, my Dad bringing home a new calculator that he needed for work. Yes, your screen isn't playing up, I wrote calculator, those things you use to add and subtract. It was a long time ago, not sure exactly but suffice to say it was in the early 70's I doubt it was the decade before. We were mesmerized and enthralled with what this gadget could do. It was going to be a huge time saver for my Dad, and help him daily. He was excited with this gadget. Mum pretended to be interested I think......the techno bug definitely never struck my beloved Mum, she looks at us all with a look that combines that glazed over look from someone who's so not interested to a sad disdain, like she's wondering what affliction has suddenly attacked us all, and another that almost looks like pity lol....... She'll never get the high that you get from opening something from the box for the first time. That heady smell of new plastic. Actually even the smell of the ohms as you walk into a large electrical store, or into a room that has a few gadgets on!! Do you know what I mean? Ah yes, that ohmic air is the best high.

My Dad still loves gadgets although they tend to frustrate him a little these days. It's a shame that the more gadgetry you have, the more things can go (and do go) wrong....... If I were paid an hourly rate for the time it's taken me on phones with tech support, google, or searching for help to fix a technical glitch....but then I wouldn't have it any other way. I love it. It excites me.

Apple launched the iPad, recently, I'm sure you saw all the hype and media frenzy. For goodness sake there were people lining up outside the stores on launch day. I kept up with all the hype and was interested and read lots of the geek blogs about the upsides and downsides of the new gadgets. I was excited, I always get excited at the idea of something new, but seriously, I had no intention of getting one. I don't need one, I have an iMac, and a MacBook and an iPhone!!!! I love them all for their own reasons. Do I need an iPhone, no! But I need a phone and my iPod was antiquated and small in capacity so the iPhone was a great way of killing two birds with one stone so to speak. I've been so Apple indoctrinated that I just have grown to truly love how seamlessly things work. My MacBook is my work horse. I use it every single day, several times a day. I never thought I'd ever go to a small computer, but it's just perfect and it's an awesome machine. I love my iMac, because it's fabulous for the whole family and is the store house for my photos and our videos. The only thing I don't like about my iMac is that the Apple Care runs out at the end of the year, but it still fits my needs and I know I'll definitely have it longer than I've ever had a PC. I use my MacBook for work and play. For play it's lots and lots of reading, from my blogs to technical stuff, and for my site work and my e-commerce course. I've got the MB set up to share music with the iMac, so whatever I buy via my MB is transferred automagically to my iMac, (the store house) and everything is backed up on my Time Capsule (another apple wunder machine).

One day I came home from the Plaza and told dear Bunny that I couldn't believe the number of people around the Apple counter at Myers. I even got to play with an iPad and thought how cool it was. He asked me if I was buying one????? At that point I hadn't even thought of it - seriously!!

Soooooo..........I'm not one to rush out and buy something that quickly, I began my research. I've spent the last two months reading everything I can get my hands on. Some of my friends have already got one and love them, their reviews helped my decision but weren't enough to sway me.

Anyway, to cut a long story, short - I bought one. I got it on Saturday and have barely had time to 'play' on it. I've had so much work to do and our weekend was a busy one. The kids had played on it, and they had already fallen in love with it.

So what makes this gadget special? What, when I already have an iPhone and a MacBook would I use my iPad for? Well I'd decided that before I purchased that. I need to justify to myself why I ~~need~~ want something....... I wanted it for reading my blogs, I wanted an e reader and the Kindle just didn't fit the bill for me. The lack of backlighting on the Kindle was the clincher for me. Having said that I won't be able to read my iPad at the beach or by the pool, but I don't do that all that often during the year anyway. I do however read in my ill lit lounge room every night and often like to read in bed, where the lamp never feels substantial enough, and the odd positions I have to hold the book in to catch the light quickly becomes uncomfortable. The iPad has the added bonus of being an awesome web browser, and can collect my emails, plus there are new apps coming out all the time.

I could do all these things before, but now I can do them in greater comfort. I often don't feel like having the MacBook on my lap. I can lie down with the iPad. I bought the one with 3G capability so I'll be able to use it away from the house, which has been a good decision, because for some reason I can't get my usb modem to work on my MacBook........ :( Plus there's now another internet connectible device in the house, no drama anymore with homework etc, and we're lucky it becomes a tax deduction too, which helps hugely.

What will those Apple people come out with next??

Update

2010-08-08T18:59:00.001+10:00

After my headaches during the latter half of last week, I'm feeling much better. I've got a headache app on my iPhone now so I will track my headaches. I was pretty happy though when I discovered that the drug that's in Mersyndol is actually in restavit, it's an antihistamine and relaxant, and worked wonders on my headache. So by Friday afternoon I was beginning to feel human again. Thank goodness as with Peter's birthday this weekend, I didn't want to feel crappy. I like to be animated, happy and fun to be around for my husband on the weekend, especially seeing as it's his birthday.

I got up yesterday morning, very late. It was bliss. I'd been in bed most of Friday catching up on sleep. I got up and got ready and felt pretty good. I was looking forward to seeing Barbi. I had planned on colouring my image for my Copic B class but I forgot the exact way how we'd planned the colouring so I just practised a technique and coloured in some gorgeous Peter Rabbit images, using Google Images as my guide for colours. I'm really pleased with my Copic collection now as I can do so much more now, without feeling like I have lots of colours missing. Karen came which was lovely. We all enjoyed our Thai dinner and it was almost 9 o'clock before we even sat down to create. I didn't get home until nearly 1.30am!! I slept well and slept in until 10.30am, it was just blissful.

I got myself in a tizz though when I couldn't find the recipe for the entree that I planned on making. I felt my head starting to throb, so I know it's stress related. I had already bought the ingredients, so it wasn't an easy matter of just making something else. Thankfully I found it. I headed in to town with Billy-Joe for company. I had to go to the supermarket to buy the meat for dinner and he needed some new undies. We also stopped at Donut King and enjoyed an Iced Mocha!! I dropped in to see Julia at Prouds and bought Bunny a stainless steel ring. It's very nice and he can wear it while I get his wedding band reshaped. Actually the wedder is so fine, I don't think it will last much longer. Peter loved his gifts, and enjoyed our evening, so it was a fun night. The entree was a caramelized onion, feta and sundried tomato tart. I added some of the confit garlic in it and it was just delicious. I could easily have eaten just that and not the main!! Our main was delicious. Sirloin steak with a garlic confit butter, potato bake, sweet carrots and broccoli. Man of the house was very impressed. It was rather late when we went to bed, but we were feeling very content with our lives and with each other.

Today I got up late, and did some chores and then headed out to a friend's place for a bbq lunch. The wine was good, and Pete outdid himself with the food. He had a salad that was continental parsley, cucumber, lemon, shallots, mint and tomatoes. It was very tasty. He had sausages for the kids, a chicken stuffed with something yummy, and with bacon wrapped around it, and some beef too. Dessert was a strawberry cake! We rolled out of there in the evening.

I'm happy to be home now, relaxed and warm. I'll look forward to a cup of tea later on. I will also get to play with my iPad when the kids go to bed. Yes, my Apple family has grown again, and apart from syncing it and setting it up. I've not had a chance to play on it yet. I got the 16GB 3G Wifi one. It's a cool gadget, and a handy device that can connect to the internet. The kids all have access to something now, leaving the MacBook always free for me. I want to get a screen protector, case and a stand for it.

I'm teaching my third Copic class on Tuesday, it's the first of the Copic B classes. So far there's been a good response to the Copic A classes, which I'm excited about.

Busy Days

2010-08-06T14:27:00.001+10:00

It's a Sunday afternoon and I'm feeling rather flat. No reason, other than the fact I'm just weary and feeling like I have a little too much on my plate and I did to gather in some perspective. I'm happy, but just a little overwhelmed with all that needs doing and things.

I'm working hard, doing lots of things, and I've not had much downtime since October last year, am very much looking forward to the holidays. I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but feeling a bit blech!! I've not felt like that for a while and I don't like it. I'm having little leisure time, which is probably my own fault. I need to work out how to organize my time better. I'm not working outside the home as such, but I'm finding I'm busier than ever. Normal I guess with three kids, a house and a husband, but I don't like being flat out all the time. I'm coping okayish, but obviously not completely otherwise I wouldn't be feeling like I'm feeling.

My days fly by, the school hours are really so short and I don't stop from the moment I get up. My house isn't as clean as I'd like it, but I'm staying on top of the main things, like the washing, cooking, main cleaning and ironing. It's the extra touches that aren't getting done. I'm struggling with money, there's not enough and I know I have the power to change that by going back teaching. I don't miss anything, but I like knowing the money is coming in just in case. I need new clothes, and I've no money to spend on any.

My thoughts are all over the place, and it sounds more negative than what it is.......that's just a reflection of my thoughts. I know this is a sign that I need to put things into perspective, because it's when thoughts are flying around aimlessly in my head, that I lose the perspective, and perspective gives me peace.

Thoughts that are going around in circles causing negative vibes
* I'm enjoying the Copic class but am uncertain of the future of it, and whether I just want to get it off the ground, or be involved on a weekly basis. I'm concerned that designing cards will become onerous.
* Feeling guilty that I'm not teaching, because there are less $$$$ coming into the household.
* Feeling like even though I'm learning stuff, I still feel very much in the dark with my course and the website
* Time gets away on me
* Have no time or motivation to exercise
* The course is causing a heavier load
* I begin to feel pressured when I do stuff
* Feels like it's been ages since I've had a break
* I'm tired

Thoughts and feelings that are causing positive vibes
* I'm enjoying the learning and looking forward to the rest of the course
* There are possibilities with this learning, and it's exciting
* My goal to work from home, can continue with this learning and working for Barbi
* There are people who specialize in setting things up and then walking away from them. Not sure what they're called, but I've done that where setting up Daisy's is concerned, and now the Copic classes. I love being involved in the set up and then perhaps I'm not needed for the future, that can be viewed as a positive thing.
* I want to learn more, I'm not bored or lonely
* On the whole I feel better within myself
* My weight is good and stable, I've lost over 10kgs.

I'm such a dreadfully slack blogger. I wrote all the above the other day and haven't finished it nor uploaded it.

I'll have to gather my thoughts so this post will at least sound coherent.

I still don't know where I am with the Copic Classes. I will consider it though, and set something up so I have an out when and if I need one. Not ideal, but that way I'm not sabotaging myself before I've even attempted it.

My head has been thumping since Wednesday and I'm struggling with it today. I've spent most of the day in bed, with chores early on and a few jobs on the computer since I've been up. I'll be collecting the kids soon. I really want to go out, I may lie down again when I get home and see how I feel at 4pm.

I had my first computer lab component of my course last night. It was a little boring, but I did pick up a few pointers and am excited to fix things. I still have to write up my Copic B class for Tuesday and finish an image for it.

It's Peter's birthday tomorrow and I wanted to cook him a Duck dish, but because I live in the boonies, I couldn't get any!! Sometimes I still wish I lived in a city! I'll probably end up making something with a Beef Rib roast I think. I'm making an entree, a tart with feta and sundried tomatoes. I hope I feel okay tomorrow.

Persuader

2010-08-02T07:31:00.001+10:00

Persuader by Lee Child

I couldn't put this audio away, I loved this book. It was thrilling, full of bad people and the intelligence and craftiness of Jack Reacher won the day yet again. The collateral damage was high, but the goals were made. Loved the setting in this book, I could feel the cold and isolation that Jack Reacher felt. Lee Child is my newest favourite author, right up there with Michael Connellys.

View all my reviews >>

An update

2010-07-23T16:00:00.001+10:00

I've had a good couple of days, very busy, but I've had time to stop today and yesterday too, which was much needed as I'm in for a busy weekend too.

I took Billy-Joe for his x-ray this morning and then I headed out to the Plaza to buy birthday gifts for him and Julia. I got Billy-Joe the Wii Monster Tri game, which he's been wanting for ages, and I know Mickey will enjoy it too. I bought Julia a gorgeous pair of silver ear rings with a purple hearts made of a stone inside them, they're just gorgeous and purple is her favourite colour. I didn't want to buy her jewellery seeing as she works in a jewellery store and her Dad sells the stuff, but I know she'll treasure it, and let's face it, a girl can never have too much jewellery!!! I bought myself jammies from Myer that were on special. I can't stand the BigW pjs anymore, and the Myer ones are always understated and just really nice. They were 40% off which was great, as they're a bit dearer than what I like to spend.

We went to the accountant on Wednesday, we'll both get good refunds and I"m sweating on my Centrelink refund, because I seriously underestimated our earnings. My CCs are both sick, so they'll get paid out again and my rego will be paid for 12 months. I'm hoping I'm left with enough to buy my Thermomix. I'll be able to claim the iPad on my tax, but I'm still on the fence with that one. We want to get Billy-Joe a new bed and chest of drawers, so we might go and have a look on Sunday.

Tonight I'm going scrapping and I'm looking forward to it. It's my night to debrief with Barbi, she's like a balm for my soul. Tonight there'll only be her and I at the table, so we can hash out a few things about the store, which will be good. I'm feeling guilty because the site isn't going as well as we'd like, but we're going to meet up with a business mentor to see what direction we'll take with it, plus it's what I'm using while I'm doing my e-commerce course. Barbi is happy for me to use Daisy's as a sample. I've done a few things to make the site better already as far as Google is concerned. There's traffic on it every single day which is fantastic, we just want to increase that though. The Facebook fan page is growing too, slowly but surely, there's over 90 people on it now which is fabulous.

Not much else to report, I've got a few thoughts running around in my Labyrinth of a mind, but I've run out of time.....until next time.

Week 1 Term 3

2010-07-20T16:54:00.002+10:00

Well we're back into the swing of things. It feels like the holidays were forever away now. We're already looking forward to Rainbow Beach in October, not really that far away. That's a real holiday, no work, no huge list of chores, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

I've had a busy week. I feel like I'm doing so much on the web site, but I spend too much time, not knowing what I'm doing rather than being productive. I've still got more work to do this week, including my lesson work.

Ah well, I'm glad this app saves my work, because it's now Week 2 and I'd forgotten to upload this. Last week I took the kids to the GP, as a follow up visit from the Asthma Nurse. Both Sammy and Billy-Joe had to have blood tests and x-rays. Yesterday I got a call from the medical centre to bring Billy-Joe back, obviously something had shown up on the blood test. I thought this was a step in the right direction, because he's always coughing, so I thought we'd get a script for antibiotics.

Billy-Joe came back positive on his ANCA test. This test coming back positive can be a false positive, which is what I'm praying for. The GP is concerned he may have Churg-Strauss Syndrome.

There are some main symptoms which Billy-Joe doesn't present with, namely red nodules, and an allergic rhinitis. But, the fact he's in the 3rd percentile for his weight is not good. He's been underweight for most of his life. He also has bi-lateral knee pain, which as I know from suffering pain in both achilles and both hips, bilateral pain, is a sign of something systemic rather than an injury. The GP told me not to panic, and I'm not panicking, but my heart sank when I read about this syndrome. It's a rare disease, an inflammation of the blood vessels, but has stages, the first two stages can be managed with heavy duty corticosteroids, while the third stage can lead to death. The research on this syndrome is fairly limited as it's so rare, and often people aren't diagnosed until later in life, this disease in children is even more rare.

The rest of the day has passed by in a bit of a numb blur. I feel positive and am not worried at this stage, well not devastatingly worried, but yes, I'm concerned. We will take him to have a chest x-ray and then he'll see a paediatrician down the track. Billy-Joe is fine with all this, he's not asked me the name of what the GP suggested, which is good as I don't want him looking it up.

Perhaps my anti depressants help to numb things a bit, I'm not sure. I won't panic, I'll hand this over to God, and deal with what comes, and pray like hell in the meantime that the GP is irrevocably wrong!!